FL - Somer Thompson, 7, Orange Park, 19 Oct 2009 #5

[OkGrace]

You made PERFECT sense. I'm the same kind of mom. Since my two, now adult children were born, I've always said I love you before they went to bed, to school, to go outside and play....even now, they can send me the most benign text message and i'll respond and then add I luv u. I'm almost (if you asked them) obnoxious about saying it....but, trained them well, cause they in turn feel compelled to tell me I love you all time too.

My point was, that for some reason, it disturbs me that Somer's mom-what's her name?-felt compelled to share with the world that she couldn't remember if she said "i love you" to Somer Monday morning or not. Almost sounds like a guilty concious to me. My feelings about this woman are just that. eerie uncomfortable feelings. No basis in fact, other than there is no denying the woman can sob and wail Very Loudly without producing tears........and she really seems to like attention and cameras.........

I would imagine she does feel guilty, I have felt guilty when something happens thinking I could have, would have, should have.... Although we cannot control some things I think as a parent we feel guilty over things we cannot control and should not feel guilty about.
On the tears thing, I think people act strange period when confronted with an unexpected death. IMO it takes quite some time to adjust to the fact that a person is dead and behave in a more normal way.
On the uncomfortable feelings I totally understand, gut feelings.

 

[Kimberlyd125]

And, let me add. I respect other's opinions, but do they have to be so venomous??? Can you think the Mom is hinky without being disrespectful???
As stated in an above post, if she is found to have done something to Somer there will be those who come out and say I told you so.
Same thing IMO is when we find out she is innocent, some of those being so hateful towards her will eat crow as well.

 

[Angelmommy]

You know, I feel so blessed right now that there weren't web forums where people discussed my reaction when I lost my own daughter. I can't tell you how I responded but I am sure it wasn't "textbook" or "typical".

My child wasn't murdered, she died from a freak accident. But the shock of her death was insane and the week after was a complete blur.

I talk very openly about some things regarding my child's death so that I can educate others. I talk very little about the raw emotional part because, even 11 years later, it is just to painful. And some people have to find something wrong with my decision, religious beliefs, parenting style - anything that will let them know that their child is safe. Because if you can find fault with the parent of the victim, then you may not need to acknowledge that something like this could happen to your family.

This mother's heart is broken. It is destroyed. The one thing she said that rang through my ears is waking up in the morning like everything is back to normal until you see all of the things that people have brought over - I can't even explain what it is like to awaken every day and relive the death of your child.

I won't analyze her grief and her processes. I am sure the police are doing a good job of that. All I am going to do is hold my children close tonight and send my prayers to this family whose world has been destroyed.

 

[tfrohning]

You made PERFECT sense. I'm the same kind of mom. Since my two, now adult children were born, I've always said I love you before they went to bed, to school, to go outside and play....even now, they can send me the most benign text message and i'll respond and then add I luv u. I'm almost (if you asked them) obnoxious about saying it....but, trained them well, cause they in turn feel compelled to tell me I love you all time too.

My point was, that for some reason, it disturbs me that Somer's mom-what's her name?-felt compelled to share with the world that she couldn't remember if she said "i love you" to Somer Monday morning or not. Almost sounds like a guilty concious to me. My feelings about this woman are just that. eerie uncomfortable feelings. No basis in fact, other than there is no denying the woman can sob and wail Very Loudly without producing tears........and she really seems to like attention and cameras.........

I don't know anymore how a mother supposed to act. Anymore someone come out ready to bash them.... it wouldn't make no different how they acted someone will find a way to bash them.

Has far has camera if she didn't come out we be saying why not!


I have nothing but heartache for this mom .
I am sure she does has guilty conciuous about a lot things.
I don't find that unsual for anyone that lost a loved one and feel they should been more careful or feel if they told them they love them enough.
IMO she has my repect and I don't feel she did anything wrong on how she handle all this with a dead child.

MY hinky is the friend and why the boyfriend has not been by her side during interviews.

IMO

 

[Salem]

As a mother who has experienced the cruelty of the sudden, tragic death of a child I can relate on a very intimate level with Diena Thompson. I'll try to help those of you who've been fortunate enough to have never experienced such a loss understand her emotions.
First of all, after the first 24 hours of continuous, uncontrollable crying it's impossible to produce tears. Her eye's burn, her nose burns and her emotional center (heart) is in excruciating pain that is quite simply, impossible to describe, but there are no tears. The pain is so intense and overwhelming she often gasps in the middle of her words. The emptiness she feels in her mind and body is only momentarily offset by the love surrounding her by friends and family. The pain somewhat subsides when she focus's on whatever task is at hand but returns like a huge wave the second her mind wonders back to the reality that Somer is gone. This happens a thousand times a day, wave after wave, after wave of the most indescribable pain imaginable. She knows that if she gives in to the pain, it will consume her, it will take her, she will literally lose her mind; so she uses her anger to speak out about the horrendous tragedy that befell her precious daughter and in doing so she keeps the pain at bay for moments at a time. She draws strength from people who love her, people who love Somer, people who encourage her and praise her and try to share her pain.
The pain she feels can not be stopped, nothing ever makes it go completely away but she stays in control and she manages the pain; because if she doesn't it will take her.

Please do not criticize Diena, I can tell you from my own personal experience; that is the last thing she needs. She is holding on for all she is worth, fighting a battle that few could even begin to understand. Thank God, she is a fighter! I pray she uses her pain, her anger and this horrible tragedy to speak out on behalf of missing and exploited children and to advocate for longer and harsher penalties for those who commit crimes again children.

Thank you for this momtective. I have not read every post in Somer's thread, nor every article written. My heart breaks for this lovely child. I can only imagine what her mother must be going through and what she must do to maintain the very fragile threads to her sanity. I'm not sure I could be so strong.

Salem

 

[Kimster]

And, let me add. I respect other's opinions, but do they have to be so venomous??? Can you think the Mom is hinky without being disrespectful???
As stated in an above post, if she is found to have done something to Somer there will be those who come out and say I told you so.
Same thing IMO is when we find out she is innocent, some of those being so hateful towards her will eat crow as well.

True. I am firm on the belief that Deina is exactly who she says she is. I know others who disagree. I just think it is in bad taste to have this discussion before more information has been gathered and before Somer's memorial service. I don't like Michael Jackson, but I kept my negative feelings mum as I watched the country go on and on about him in respect for those who thought higher of him.

And the rule is, respond to the post, don't attack the poster.:truce:

 

[Salem]

Do you think maybe the bashing comes from a fear of her very obvious pain? It is scary to watch and to realize that it could happen to anyone of us?

Salem

 

[babycat]

As a mother who has experienced the cruelty of the sudden, tragic death of a child I can relate on a very intimate level with Diena Thompson. I'll try to help those of you who've been fortunate enough to have never experienced such a loss understand her emotions.
First of all, after the first 24 hours of continuous, uncontrollable crying it's impossible to produce tears. Her eye's burn, her nose burns and her emotional center (heart) is in excruciating pain that is quite simply, impossible to describe, but there are no tears. The pain is so intense and overwhelming she often gasps in the middle of her words. The emptiness she feels in her mind and body is only momentarily offset by the love surrounding her by friends and family. The pain somewhat subsides when she focus's on whatever task is at hand but returns like a huge wave the second her mind wonders back to the reality that Somer is gone. This happens a thousand times a day, wave after wave, after wave of the most indescribable pain imaginable. She knows that if she gives in to the pain, it will consume her, it will take her, she will literally lose her mind; so she uses her anger to speak out about the horrendous tragedy that befell her precious daughter and in doing so she keeps the pain at bay for moments at a time. She draws strength from people who love her, people who love Somer, people who encourage her and praise her and try to share her pain.
The pain she feels can not be stopped, nothing ever makes it go completely away but she stays in control and she manages the pain; because if she doesn't it will take her.

Please do not criticize Diena, I can tell you from my own personal experience; that is the last thing she needs. She is holding on for all she is worth, fighting a battle that few could even begin to understand. Thank God, she is a fighter! I pray she uses her pain, her anger and this horrible tragedy to speak out on behalf of missing and exploited children and to advocate for longer and harsher penalties for those who commit crimes again children.

your post brought me to tears...

I can't even imagine.

*hugs*

 

[Kimberlyd125]

True. I am firm on the belief that Deina is exactly who she says she is. I know others who disagree. I just think it is in bad taste to have this discussion before more information has been gathered and before Somer's memorial service. I don't like Michael Jackson, but I kept my negative feelings mum as I watched the country go on and on about him in respect for those who thought higher of him.

And the rule is, respond to the post, don't attack the poster.:truce:

I hope I did not attack the poster. I tried very hard when I posted to keep that rule in my mind. :innocent: I tried to keep it very generic and not mention names or quote other posters' posts.

O/T: I wasn't as gracious regarding MJ at first, then took a step back and got myself in line.

I do try very hard to follow rules. A timeout would just about kill me. :crazy:

 

[Kewpiedoll]

Do you think maybe the bashing comes from a fear of her very obvious pain? It is scary to watch and to realize that it could happen to anyone of us?

Salem

I can't wrap my mind around the bashing of this Mother at all.
WS is usually a very respectable place to read and post, and until a case is blown wide open with facts, well I just don't get it.

I'll come back later and hopefully this thread will have a clean up on aisle 5.

 

[Kimster]

Do you think maybe the bashing comes from a fear of her very obvious pain? It is scary to watch and to realize that it could happen to anyone of us?

Salem

HEY! I was thinking the exact same thing while I was in the shower today! That and the fear that this IS a random act and there are truly evil people stalking women and children...

 

[babycat]

The one thing she said that rang through my ears is waking up in the morning like everything is back to normal until you see all of the things that people have brought over - I can't even explain what it is like to awaken every day and relive the death of your child.

It breaks my heart to hear these things from someone who experienced them first hand.

Much love to you, Angelmommy

 

[PattiAnn]

I can't wrap my mind around the bashing of this Mother at all.
WS is usually a very respectable place to read and post, and until a case is blown wide open with facts, well I just don't get it.

I'll come back later and hopefully this thread will have a clean up on aisle 5.

Whenever a child is murdered, I think it's entirely appropriate to discuss and question the demeanor of the parents. I've read back through the thread and unless I missed it, I have seen no bashing of Somer's mother...just explanations of why she makes some of us uncomfortable. Bashing is just an indiscriminate attack, my hinky-meter is going off for very specific reasons....and I see no problem sharing those reasons on a sleuthing website.That's why we are here...do discuss our theories and hunches. IMO

 

[SondraK]

I feel the need to share my reaction to my father's death. He was hit by a car while crossing the street in front of his home. My mother and younger sister were just puddles of devastation, totally unable to function. Someone had to and I did. I made all the visitation and funeral arrangements, consoled grieving brothers, sisters, friends, etc.

I did not cry, there was no time for that. In the end my mother asked me how I could be so cold? I believe that hurt worse than my father's death. She did not know about the nightmares I had for months, or the depression. She is 98 now and I still love her to death. We are just very different.

I just want everyone to be aware that I cry at sad movies, cry at happy endings, cry at babies being lost before they have a chance to grow up and have a say in where their life goes. Yet, in a crisis, I will continue to function as long as I am needed. And that is what made me a good nurse, so I do it without apology.

Please think twice and give this mother a break.

 

[tarabull]

You know, I feel so blessed right now that there weren't web forums where people discussed my reaction when I lost my own daughter. I can't tell you how I responded but I am sure it wasn't "textbook" or "typical".

My child wasn't murdered, she died from a freak accident. But the shock of her death was insane and the week after was a complete blur.

I talk very openly about some things regarding my child's death so that I can educate others. I talk very little about the raw emotional part because, even 11 years later, it is just to painful. And some people have to find something wrong with my decision, religious beliefs, parenting style - anything that will let them know that their child is safe. Because if you can find fault with the parent of the victim, then you may not need to acknowledge that something like this could happen to your family.

This mother's heart is broken. It is destroyed. The one thing she said that rang through my ears is waking up in the morning like everything is back to normal until you see all of the things that people have brought over - I can't even explain what it is like to awaken every day and relive the death of your child.

I won't analyze her grief and her processes. I am sure the police are doing a good job of that. All I am going to do is hold my children close tonight and send my prayers to this family whose world has been destroyed.

My heart is tarabully heavy....I appreciate you sharing.
Where for but the grace there go I...
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Life is not fair.
Hugs sent thru this message.

 

[Kimberlyd125]

I agree that we are here to discuss our theories and hunches. Everybody has an opinion and a right to state them. Everybody just needs to take a deep breath IMO and think about all parties involved.
Some things that have been stated were stated in a very condisending and disrespectful manner. That's what gets people rilled up.

ETA: Emotions run high in these cases and if we didn't care, we would not be here discussing. Thank God there are so many who care. All opinions are valuable.

 

[Hippy Chick]

I am leaving for awhile to get ready to host my only daughters first baby shower. I am so thankful that my daughter is happy and healthy and I am so very sorry for Somer's mom she will never get to attend her graduation see her get ready for the prom, watch her go off to college, get married, or become a mother. That is the saddest thing I can think of and I will pray for her today. Will be back @ you all later...

 

[NSC]

Something I think it worth noting. Obviously, Somers Mom has an alibi at work. She came right home and started searching for her daughter and flagged a police car. This doesn't sound like a woman who has something to hide. As for her "reactions" in the press and media. I don't think anyone plans for their child to be kidnapped and murdered. I am sure there are people there helping to support her, maybe going as far as brushing her hair...god knows I wouldn't even be capable of that if this happend to my child.

I think it is fine to have an opinion or doubt on any case. That is why we are here as sleuthers. My personally opinon is that mother is in the clear. JMO

 

[dreamweaver]

True. I am firm on the belief that Deina is exactly who she says she is. I know others who disagree. I just think it is in bad taste to have this discussion before more information has been gathered and before Somer's memorial service. I don't like Michael Jackson, but I kept my negative feelings mum as I watched the country go on and on about him in respect for those who thought higher of him.

And the rule is, respond to the post, don't attack the poster.:truce:

========================================

Kimster: I agree with you completely. When I look at Deina, I only
see a mother who has been struck by one of the worst things in the world to happen. To lose a child. And not just have her gone, but dead, murdered, within minutes from home.

I see Deina as resilent. And I feel it is perfectly 'normal' for her
emotions to be across the board.
And her purple ribbons? Somer's fav color.
All the people in the background of the one press conference had purple ribbons of some sort on them.

And I would sing, You are My Sunshine, my daughter's fav song, maybe it would comfort her if she had been kidnapped, maybe it would comfort me,
a little.

I guess we all see from our own perspective.

ot: I know I suspected the TN mom whose baby was kidnapped. I was wrong.

 

[Kimberlyd125]

I agree about the people around helping. Did you see the interview where she thanked everyone so much for the help. Seemed like it came from the bottom of her heart. Like she could not believe it. Humble.
IMO this family has not asked for help at all. But, this community is surrounding them with love and care and providing things they need. Thank God for that.
I get the feeling the family, unlike others, are true and genuine. They appreciate the help and they don't think they are entitled to it.