Ok, here is what I came up with in my meditation. This is basically like free-association writing for me. I ask Tara (if you believe she’s on the “other side” as I do) to show me images of things that she wants us to know. I also add my own interpretation based on what I feel being in the meditation. If you don’t believe in any of this ‘nonsense,’ that’s OK, I just ask that you be kind and open minded. My attempt is a sincere one, even if you don’t believe in what I do.
Also, remember that the images I’ve noted can be symbolic or literal. Thanks for reading!
I see Tara in two different ways: first, standing in front of me, facing me, and she’s wearing jeans and a red t-shirt. The red shirt has a white “swish” on it, underneath white text, but I can’t make out what that text says. She’s wearing a short necklace, black maybe. I ask her to show me something, she hands me a small light-colored ceramic bulb or round dish. It feels like this is something she cherishes, possibly tied to her childhood or teenage years, like a special music box. She shows me a small table, like an end table, that’s white. She also shows me something yellow and sparkly, which I can only describe as gold nuggets. I can’t get a sense of scale, though -- if these are small or large, like a canyon.
I feel a burst of anger toward her, that she’s not who she ‘pretends’ to be, that she’s fake, a flirt.
I also see Tara a second way, at night time, wearing a white dress. It’s a halter top, clasped behind her neck, but short (knee length), and she’s wearing a short white beaded necklace. I see her from behind, and she’s slowly stepping into a cold lake. The necklace feels like it’s a collar almost – a choking feeling.
A phrase I hear often when I see her is “barking up the wrong tree,” like everyone is looking in another direction, while someone sneaks away.
The images play faster: red tulips, dog hair on her clothes, a white sweater, sunglasses, police swarming, an old computer, images of her and her boyfriend on the screen.
I feel the texture of a police uniform and have always felt a way-too closeness of police in this case. I feel my hands running over the objects in her room – a vase, her curling iron, a scarf.
She shows me something being pushed/moved, feels like a heavy cardboard box. There’s an H word written on the side, like “Handy” or “Hardy.”
She says, “There are tracks.” She also says names to me, like she says, “Marcus,” but I don’t feel like that can be trusted, because I know some of the key players in the case, and my subconscious could be intervening.
I think the big takeaways for me from this meditation are: the water scene with her in the white dress/necklace, the t-shirt logo (what IS that logo?), the gold canyon, the burst of anger I felt toward her for being ‘fake,’ officer involvement, and the cardboard box with “Handy” or “Hardy” on it. If I think of anything else, I’ll let you know.
