Leave Mom there...would rather remodel kitchen?

[Anngelique]

Some Ohio Families Refuse to Claim Bodies

http://www.comcast.net/news/index.jsp?cat=GENERAL&fn=/2006/06/12/411329.html&cvqh=itn_bodies

In some of these situations, we do find family members that readily acknowledge that they're capable of providing financial assistance, but want nothing to do with them. That seems to be a fairly common situation."

In one instance, a woman contacted the Ohio Funeral Directors Association, which handles indigent cases, to pay for the funeral of her dying mother-in-law, said Trey Wackerly, a Canton funeral director and member of the organization.

At first the woman claimed she couldn't afford it, but when Wackerly pressed her, she acknowledged that there was insurance money, but that her family didn't like the mother-in-law and hoped to use the cash to remodel their kitchen.

"I couldn't believe it," Wackerly said.

 

[LinetteH]

How awful!!!!!

 

[Anngelique]

Isn't that pathetic? I don't care if the person was liked or not... have some respect for the dead. :doh:

 

[LinetteH]

Isn't that pathetic? I don't care if the person was liked or not... have some respect for the dead. :doh:

Exactly! I actually have ZERO respect for my mother-in-law (very long story there, haha) but I would never do that to her--out of respect for her son more than anything!

 

[Yakwoman]

It takes all kinds, doesn't it?

 

[Anngelique]

Exactly! I actually have ZERO respect for my mother-in-law (very long story there, haha) but I would never do that to her--out of respect for her son more than anything!

That's because you have class and these people should receive the same treatment when they die. :blowkiss:

 

[deanws]

I am sure there are other factors in some cases. I would not pick up my mother. She was a horrid woman who beat us until she broke one of my legs and both of my sister's legs. I was raised mainly by my grandmother, who was as wonderful as my mother was horrible. In return for the wonderful treatment that my grandmother gave me as a child, my husband and I took care of them for the last 5 years of their lives when they could no longer take care of themselves. It was nice to have them live with us. I loved and honored my grandparents in life and death. I still miss them more than I can ever describe. So....I guess I fall into one of those "horrible" people. I can't say that I even care if they call me when she passes.

 

[czechmate7]

I am sure there are other factors in some cases. I would not pick up my mother. She was a horrid woman who beat us until she broke one of my legs and both of my sister's legs. I was raised mainly by my grandmother, who was as wonderful as my mother was horrible. In return for the wonderful treatment that my grandmother gave me as a child, my husband and I took care of them for the last 5 years of their lives when they could no longer take care of themselves. It was nice to have them live with us. I loved and honored my grandparents in life and death. I still miss them more than I can ever describe. So....I guess I fall into one of those "horrible" people. I can't say that I even care if they call me when she passes.

I don't think you're horrible.....some people don't deserve to have such respect and your mother sounds like one of them!

 

[lizziedripping]

I don't think you're horrible.....some people don't deserve to have such respect and your mother sounds like one of them!

I'd also like to include my Mum here, as sad as it may seem to some, I couldn't care less how, when or where she passes away......... I am not in the least bit interested.

 

[deanws]

I'd also like to include my Mum here, as sad as it may seem to some, I couldn't care less how, when or where she passes away......... I am not in the least bit interested.

I understand. I am just thankful God gave me a wonderful grandmother to take care of me and make sure I grew up with all the things I needed in life. She made sure that all of us had nice manners, respect for our teachers, took care of our things, and followed the golden rules. Without her, I would have been lost, and probably more like my mother. That is a scary thought! :crazy:

 

[deanws]

I don't think you're horrible.....some people don't deserve to have such respect and your mother sounds like one of them!

I guess that I learned some things from my mother....like what NOT to do when raising my children! LOL :laugh:

 

[lizziedripping]

I guess that I learned some things from my mother....like what NOT to do when raising my children! LOL :laugh:

Me too deandaniellws, I think of all the things my Mum didn't do, then did the opposite with my kids, and hey presto........ :laugh:

 

[LinasK]

I am sure there are other factors in some cases. I would not pick up my mother. She was a horrid woman who beat us until she broke one of my legs and both of my sister's legs. I was raised mainly by my grandmother, who was as wonderful as my mother was horrible. In return for the wonderful treatment that my grandmother gave me as a child, my husband and I took care of them for the last 5 years of their lives when they could no longer take care of themselves. It was nice to have them live with us. I loved and honored my grandparents in life and death. I still miss them more than I can ever describe. So....I guess I fall into one of those "horrible" people. I can't say that I even care if they call me when she passes.

Dean, that doesn't make you horrible, you were abused. Nobody should ever have to attend the funeral of their abuser. I wouldn't attend my uncles funeral, and I didn't even attend his wife's- even though the family tried to guilt trip me by designating me as an honorary pallbearer. In fact, I'd tap dance on my uncle's grave if I could. Your feelings are completely understandable.:blowkiss:

 

[LinetteH]

Dean, that doesn't make you horrible, you were abused. Nobody should ever have to attend the funeral of their abuser. I wouldn't attend my uncles funeral, and I didn't even attend his wife's- even though the family tried to guilt trip me by designating me as an honorary pallbearer. In fact, I'd tap dance on my uncle's grave if I could. Your feelings are completely understandable.:blowkiss:

I have several child-molesting uncles I actually wish would pass on!! They don't deserve the air they breathe in my opinion. They harmed so many family members and other members of their community! It sickens me! I technically don't even claim them as uncles. nor does my father claim them as brothers, but they are blood related! YUCK! I cringe at the thought of being related to them!

 

[LinasK]

I have several child-molesting uncles I actually wish would pass on!! They don't deserve the air they breathe in my opinion. They harmed so many family members and other members of their community! It sickens me! I technically don't even claim them as uncles. nor does my father claim them as brothers, but they are blood related! YUCK! I cringe at the thought of being related to them!

What you have going for you is that your father acknowledges what they are. My mother remained in denial, but didn't try to force me to go to his funeral. She did however force me to send him an invitation to my wedding!

 

[LinetteH]

What you have going for you is that your father acknowledges what they are. My mother remained in denial, but didn't try to force me to go to his funeral. She did however force me to send him an invitation to my wedding!

Good God! Did he actually show up? I sure hope not!

 

[LinasK]

Good God! Did he actually show up? I sure hope not!

No, my husband and I composed a letter telling him to disregard the invitation, that he was not welcome. He did send me a $50 bill anonymously. I figured out it was from him from the postmark/zip code and donated it to a women's rape support group.

 

[deanws]

Dean, that doesn't make you horrible, you were abused. Nobody should ever have to attend the funeral of their abuser. I wouldn't attend my uncles funeral, and I didn't even attend his wife's- even though the family tried to guilt trip me by designating me as an honorary pallbearer. In fact, I'd tap dance on my uncle's grave if I could. Your feelings are completely understandable.:blowkiss:

Thanks. People couldn't understand why I was so lost after my grandmother and grandfather died 12 weeks apart. If I didn't know the people well, I didn't bother to tell them that I considered my grandparents my parents. Some things are so difficult to discuss. I felt that at the time of their deaths, I couldn't handle explaining to others what kind of life I had with my mother, so I just let them think I was losing my mind. Actually in reality, I just about did lose it when my grandparents died. Of course my mother showed up and acted like an azz. But that is another story for another time. Not worth even mentioning it really. I don't deserve the hurt that accompanies the thought of her.
So, I try not to think about my mother. I do however, think of my grandparents often, and know that they are in a much better place even though I miss them. If anyone ever had a cool grandmother......it was me! LOL. She told me the day I got married to always "give it" to my husband, because if I didn't ...someone else would! LMAO! I was sooooo embarrassed! LOL, but that was my grandmother!!! She was always "hip" with the times! :crazy: She also told me to never be ashamed of who I was. She said....Don't ever think you are not as good as someone else, but on the other hand, you're not a damn bit better than anyone else either! Famous words to live by. I learned so much from her. She was cool.

 

[deanws]

No, my husband and I composed a letter telling him to disregard the invitation, that he was not welcome. He did send me a $50 bill anonymously. I figured out it was from him from the postmark/zip code and donated it to a women's rape support group.

LOL!! You go girl! That was certainly appropriate. :clap: I admire you for thinking it through, and sending it to a place where it could be used the best.

 

[LinasK]

LOL!! You go girl! That was certainly appropriate. :clap: I admire you for thinking it through, and sending it to a place where it could be used the best.

Actually, I can't take all the credit...:blushing: The idea was my psychologists'. I didn't want to keep his dirty money, but I didn't want him to have it back either. It was her suggestion.