NV NV - Steven T. Koecher, 30, Henderson, 13 Dec 2009 - #15

[NicoleinVegas]

I couldn't find this, so I am commenting to bump it. It is weird that the bus line to NLV was discussed long ago, and it ended up becoming something to look at now. Then you think about the small towns around Vegas, like Indian Springs, then you have Pahrump. Did he move to them?

 

[Rindicella]

I don't think most suicides intend to be cruel. They're so caught up in their own pain that they can't see outside themselves, and depression has often twisted their perceptions to where they truly believe no one will care, or even that the people they're leaving will be better off without them.

I suspect the same thinking often goes into leaving. Back when I was suffering from post-partum depression, I nearly walked -- and I would have thought I was doing spouse a favor by leaving, so he didn't have to cope with me any more and I couldn't inflict any more psychological damage on him or the kids. It wasn't true, of course, but I wasn't capable of seeing that.

And sometimes people leave because they think they have to save their own lives. People trying to deal with sexual orientation issues often feel this way -- that staying where they are is killing them inside. They don't want to hurt the people they love, but they can't keep hurting themselves, either.

I'm sure there are people who kill themselves for malice. I'm sure there are people who leave in order to inflict pain. I suppose Steven might have intended to hurt his parents and his family for not understanding him or whatever -- but I think it's more likely he was sufficiently depressed to think that that they were better off without him. Now he probably thinks he doesn't deserve to be found.

Respectfully BBM --- I completely agree with this line of reasoning.
As a person who has also struggled with chronic depression and severe PTSD I can relate to this type of thinking.

I have often found myself in carbuff's words here. This is exactly the kind of thinking that has occurred to me many times in the past. I have never actually "left" in this way, nor obviously, have I committed suicide, but this is exactly how it feels when I was tempted to those extremes.
a) thinking ppl (esp. family) were better off without me
b) that I don't deserve to be part of the family
and I would only add:
c) Unable to express these feelings to family in ways I felt they could understand.

 

[Rindicella]

I had another thought to go with the above ---
In addition to the thought process above, that I have struggled with in the past,
I have also sometimes been tempted to think that in fact my family did not want me around.
sometimes, it's hard for family members to admit when they may have said or done insensitive things that might lead a depressed person to feel that way. Their reaction is usually shock when they find out that the person was feeling unwanted by them. This is not anyone's fault really, it's just part of being human and having imperfect relationships as we all do.

I wonder if Stephen " felt unwanted and unloved " by his family, due to his depressive thinking and how it may have distorted his perception of "reality".

I am praying for Stephen and his family and hope that all will be healed and resolved soon.

 

[believe09]

Did you find the information you were looking for and/or did it lead anywhere?

Yes and No.

ETA: Yes I found the info and no it did not lead anywhere. TY.

 

[Fairy1]

I had another thought to go with the above ---
In addition to the thought process above, that I have struggled with in the past,
I have also sometimes been tempted to think that in fact my family did not want me around.
sometimes, it's hard for family members to admit when they may have said or done insensitive things that might lead a depressed person to feel that way. Their reaction is usually shock when they find out that the person was feeling unwanted by them. This is not anyone's fault really, it's just part of being human and having imperfect relationships as we all do.

I wonder if Stephen " felt unwanted and unloved " by his family, due to his depressive thinking and how it may have distorted his perception of "reality".

I am praying for Stephen and his family and hope that all will be healed and resolved soon.

Thank you for your insights Rindicella and welcome!!!

 

[carbuff]

I had another thought to go with the above ---
In addition to the thought process above, that I have struggled with in the past,
I have also sometimes been tempted to think that in fact my family did not want me around.
sometimes, it's hard for family members to admit when they may have said or done insensitive things that might lead a depressed person to feel that way. Their reaction is usually shock when they find out that the person was feeling unwanted by them. This is not anyone's fault really, it's just part of being human and having imperfect relationships as we all do.

I wonder if Stephen " felt unwanted and unloved " by his family, due to his depressive thinking and how it may have distorted his perception of "reality".

I am praying for Stephen and his family and hope that all will be healed and resolved soon.

Thank you. Yes, that seems very likely. Depression warps the perceptions -- one thinks "logically" but it's based on bad data.

 

[Fairy1]

Thank you. Yes, that seems very likely. Depression warps the perceptions -- one thinks "logically" but it's based on bad data.

I think so too, carbuff. So we just have to decide what result he chose - to end his life (I think not) or to just disappear.

As I've said before, I feel he would have been found by now if this was a suicide.

 

[laytonian]

I think so too, carbuff. So we just have to decide what result he chose - to end his life (I think not) or to just disappear.

Or crime victim.

 

[Fairy1]

Or crime victim.

Oh yeah.

 

[carbuff]

Or crime victim.

I think if he was a crime victim, that's one of the things most likely to make him invisible; somebody who harmed him would have been concerned with covering up the crime and making his body less obvious.

 

[laytonian]

I think if he was a crime victim, that's one of the things most likely to make him invisible; somebody who harmed him would have been concerned with covering up the crime and making his body less obvious.

Which I think explains why "crime victim" has become the predominant belief.

 

[carbuff]

Which I think explains why "crime victim" has become the predominant belief.

Yesss.

(because I apparently can't enter a simple yes-or-no answer...)

 

[laytonian]

Yesss.

(because I apparently can't enter a simple yes-or-no answer...)

Old internet joke:
<AOL>

Me too

</AOL>

 

[Fairy1]

Which I think explains why "crime victim" has become the predominant belief.

But WHY? IMO - it would not have been random. WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO HARM STEVEN???

 

[carbuff]

But WHY? IMO - it would not have been random. WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO HARM STEVEN???

Why not random?

 

[sbakker]

But WHY? IMO - it would not have been rand




Often when people are harmed or killed, we do not know the reason it was done. When people are so sick, and do the awful things they do, to good, kind, people,we wonder, but often never know the reason they did it.

 

[believe09]

I know we have had some excitement the last week-maybe it is worth regrouping to see what every one was working on and discussing when we were, umm, disrupted. Sometimes I think it can be telling to see what might have caused someone to take a thread off the rails...if you believe in conspiracy theories.

 

[laytonian]

But WHY? IMO - it would not have been random. WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO HARM STEVEN???

Love?
Money?
Knowledge?
Accident?

Why do people harm others?

 

[laytonian]

I know we have had some excitement the last week-maybe it is worth regrouping to see what every one was working on and discussing when we were, umm, disrupted. Sometimes I think it can be telling to see what might have caused someone to take a thread off the rails...if you believe in conspiracy theories.

It began back in April, after the search around the Henderson Executive airport. The point has obviously been to derail the PI's efforts, as well as creating a circular firing squad comprised of WSers, the family, at least one of SK's church friends, LE and the PI.

The only common thread I saw in the suggested scenarios (which competed with each other!) was that the scene should move AWAY from SCA.

Did things get a big too close for comfort? Or have we just taken troll bait?

 

[carbuff]

It began back in April, after the search around the Henderson Executive airport. The point has obviously been to derail the PI's efforts, as well as creating a circular firing squad comprised of WSers, the family, at least one of SK's church friends, LE and the PI.

The only common thread I saw in the suggested scenarios (which competed with each other!) was that the scene should move AWAY from SCA.

Did things get a big too close for comfort?

It kind of seemed that way.

I thought it started right around the time of the search, with sniping about the PI's qualifications and how the search was run.