Chiquita71
New Member
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2009
- Messages
- 3,835
- Reaction score
- 2
Hello WS 
I definitely may be getting sociopath(s) and borderline personality disorder confused. Its true. In searching for an "answer" to why my mother is the way she is, I have thought it was a lot of things. But, she and my father and most of my family and my husbands family exhibit different behaviors belonging to the descriptions of both disorders. I am fine with calling it just plain mean.
I know my mother hates herself, and in seeing her children as extensions of herself, she then treats us hatefully. I think my mother felt powerless as a child, and then just as powerless as a woman and so when she was given power over her children: she went mad with power. I think of her like a dictator, she ruled the roost with an iron fist.
She would actually say, "My father ruled us with an iron fist." She was very clear that she had grown up in a much more strict way and that we were lucky she was so easy going.
When I was in the second grade, I was invited by our neighbors who had kids my age, to see fourth of July fireworks with them. I got really excited by the idea but then very upset at thinking that I would not be with my mom for the holiday. I had it all worked up in my mind to the point I saw my mom sad and lonely and alone and I started crying. I couldn't fall asleep and so I went downstairs and through sobs I told my mom I didn't want to go see the fireworks and why. She looked at me flatly and said, "well, I was never going to let you go."
This falls under the category of "you get yourself all worked up over nothing." My mother feels it is me who has the mental illness. She would laugh a hearty laugh at the idea that it is she and not me, who needs help. She would also tell everyone, that I am a liar.
I have had to work to not believe my mother's reality. I still see Casey as 100% responsible for what she did to Caylee but I have no problem in seeing the influence Cindy had on making Casey who she is. It can't be overstated the importance of how a mother treats(raises)her children to those children.
When children are successful in life, they and we always praise the parents for doing such a great job but when they fail, most parents want to say it had nothing to do with them. In my mother's opinion the worst thing I do is my "blaming" of her, she sees any of my objections to the way I was raised as just blaming her for my problems that are 100% my fault.
That is why Cindy's words of, "well, you only have yourself to blame sweetheart" is included in my list of "speak." Cindy may only have a personality disorder and then she had Casey who was predisposed to certain behaviors and then being raised by Cindy created sociopathic behavior/actions in Casey. Whatever the technical definitions of each, I see some of the same behaviors for all of them. My mother has a sense of entitlement towards her children but not the world in general. She has had flat effect reactions to most of my emotional needs, and has mocked troubles in my life making light and later bringing up my pain and being glib about it.
I am reading a book called "Mean Mothers" by Peg Streep. It is taking me a while to read it because it is hard to process the emotions.
I think what we are seeing is this: out in the world the sociopath thinks they are king of the world, they are drawn to positions of power and then we have all the manifestations of that reality. Ideas that certain races, women and children are inferior are weaved into the foundation of the Judeo-Christian Western world in which we are raised. It's the whole system, and its called a patriarchy. IMO, the tenants of patriarchy: might is right, war is necessary and the big one: women are by nature inferior to men that creates all these crimes we see on Websleuths. As long as women and children are considered second class citizens our world will have violence.
Sociopathic speak to me is anyone touting the virtues of our current system. I don't mean to keep pulling this to the personal but it is easier to say it in personal terms. My mother agreed with these ideas, that some people weren't as strong or good as others and that it was their fault. Blatantly, she is a racist. She thinks that most of the poor are that way because they do not work hard enough or what has befallen them must be of their own doing. I.E. They have no one to blame but themselves.
So, what we may be talking about her is: if my mother had been born to be a leader I would then call her behavior that of a sociopath but because she is "just" my mother then it is seen as a personality disorder. I get that each disorder has a definition and I have been incorrect with my definitions. But when I am reading about a true sociopath I can't help but think of my mom.
ETA: I'm not sending anyone away with this link, I saw that Reagan said the thread was closed for this subject and since it was brought up I listened to them again, too. I just wanted to give the link for the thread in case anyone wanted it. I also plan to post about it, I transcribed stuff I found interesting after reading Reagan's post.
http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=71034&highlight=casey,+interview,+recordings
:cow:
I definitely may be getting sociopath(s) and borderline personality disorder confused. Its true. In searching for an "answer" to why my mother is the way she is, I have thought it was a lot of things. But, she and my father and most of my family and my husbands family exhibit different behaviors belonging to the descriptions of both disorders. I am fine with calling it just plain mean.
I know my mother hates herself, and in seeing her children as extensions of herself, she then treats us hatefully. I think my mother felt powerless as a child, and then just as powerless as a woman and so when she was given power over her children: she went mad with power. I think of her like a dictator, she ruled the roost with an iron fist.
She would actually say, "My father ruled us with an iron fist." She was very clear that she had grown up in a much more strict way and that we were lucky she was so easy going.
When I was in the second grade, I was invited by our neighbors who had kids my age, to see fourth of July fireworks with them. I got really excited by the idea but then very upset at thinking that I would not be with my mom for the holiday. I had it all worked up in my mind to the point I saw my mom sad and lonely and alone and I started crying. I couldn't fall asleep and so I went downstairs and through sobs I told my mom I didn't want to go see the fireworks and why. She looked at me flatly and said, "well, I was never going to let you go."
This falls under the category of "you get yourself all worked up over nothing." My mother feels it is me who has the mental illness. She would laugh a hearty laugh at the idea that it is she and not me, who needs help. She would also tell everyone, that I am a liar.
I have had to work to not believe my mother's reality. I still see Casey as 100% responsible for what she did to Caylee but I have no problem in seeing the influence Cindy had on making Casey who she is. It can't be overstated the importance of how a mother treats(raises)her children to those children.
When children are successful in life, they and we always praise the parents for doing such a great job but when they fail, most parents want to say it had nothing to do with them. In my mother's opinion the worst thing I do is my "blaming" of her, she sees any of my objections to the way I was raised as just blaming her for my problems that are 100% my fault.
That is why Cindy's words of, "well, you only have yourself to blame sweetheart" is included in my list of "speak." Cindy may only have a personality disorder and then she had Casey who was predisposed to certain behaviors and then being raised by Cindy created sociopathic behavior/actions in Casey. Whatever the technical definitions of each, I see some of the same behaviors for all of them. My mother has a sense of entitlement towards her children but not the world in general. She has had flat effect reactions to most of my emotional needs, and has mocked troubles in my life making light and later bringing up my pain and being glib about it.
I am reading a book called "Mean Mothers" by Peg Streep. It is taking me a while to read it because it is hard to process the emotions.
I think what we are seeing is this: out in the world the sociopath thinks they are king of the world, they are drawn to positions of power and then we have all the manifestations of that reality. Ideas that certain races, women and children are inferior are weaved into the foundation of the Judeo-Christian Western world in which we are raised. It's the whole system, and its called a patriarchy. IMO, the tenants of patriarchy: might is right, war is necessary and the big one: women are by nature inferior to men that creates all these crimes we see on Websleuths. As long as women and children are considered second class citizens our world will have violence.
Sociopathic speak to me is anyone touting the virtues of our current system. I don't mean to keep pulling this to the personal but it is easier to say it in personal terms. My mother agreed with these ideas, that some people weren't as strong or good as others and that it was their fault. Blatantly, she is a racist. She thinks that most of the poor are that way because they do not work hard enough or what has befallen them must be of their own doing. I.E. They have no one to blame but themselves.
So, what we may be talking about her is: if my mother had been born to be a leader I would then call her behavior that of a sociopath but because she is "just" my mother then it is seen as a personality disorder. I get that each disorder has a definition and I have been incorrect with my definitions. But when I am reading about a true sociopath I can't help but think of my mom.
ETA: I'm not sending anyone away with this link, I saw that Reagan said the thread was closed for this subject and since it was brought up I listened to them again, too. I just wanted to give the link for the thread in case anyone wanted it. I also plan to post about it, I transcribed stuff I found interesting after reading Reagan's post.
http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=71034&highlight=casey,+interview,+recordings
:cow:
