Testimonies 10/16/08

[petra]

residence :floorlaugh:

I think his beginning to train again in 2008 has hurt him to some point. It shows his continual involvement away from home again instead of at home with the family. Is this when NC said enough is enough?

I will say per testimony by Dr Hilkey...BC family has high expectations. It is a high achieving family. I don't know if it was so much NC wanting him to get the MBA as he has indicated for her thinking it would produce a higher income, or him trying to please his family, still to this day.

or him not wanting to be around the residence/ family in the evening.
In his blog, he wrote about pursuing a PHD at some point.

Does anyone know what his mother's educational background or employment is?

 

[momto3kids]

or him not wanting to be around the residence/ family in the evening.
In his blog, he wrote about pursuing a PHD at some point.

Does anyone know what his mother's educational background or employment is?

She states stay at home. I tell you her affidavit doesn't show too highly educated IMO.
PHD...possible to follow dads education level? I just wonder how much BC wants or is it his parents and their approval? It is sad, but this does happen so often. A child trying to seek approval even when they are grown.

BC mom stated how a lifeguard taught Bella to swim, but yet BC was supposedly a lifeguard per MH? affidavit. Why didn't he teach his own daughter? I just noticed this.

Also I think a few days ago it was asked about SH and when he found out about HM and BC..it was Dec 06

 

[petra]

Wow, that's a whole lot of unreasonable speculation. I doubt he is anywhere close to foreclosure or bankruptcy....the guy does make $120k+. I doubt he'll be consumed in the legal process. he won't need to do anything unless they arrest him...and it doesn't look like they have enough to do so, and probably never will. There are plenty of single fathers out there, he won't be the first. These are his kids and he should have custody.

Hopefully, the murderer of NC will one day be caught,brought to trial and convicted.

A murder trial is very time consuming and emotionally draining for all family members and friends. But if BC choices not to attend the trial or can remove his emotions from the murder of his wife, you are right, it may not be too time consuming for him. Although he might have to testify if called on--at worst only a few hours of his life.

BC said himself in his depo, that he will be involved in the quest and helping LE find out who murdered his wife To me this would be time consuming.

 

[ncsu95]

She states stay at home. I tell you her affidavit doesn't show too highly educated IMO.
PHD...possible to follow dads education level? I just wonder how much BC wants or is it his parents and their approval? It is sad, but this does happen so often. A child trying to seek approval even when they are grown.

BC mom stated how a lifeguard taught Bella to swim, but yet BC was supposedly a lifeguard per MH? affidavit. Why didn't he teach his own daughter? I just noticed this.

Also I think a few days ago it was asked about SH and when he found out about HM and BC..it was Dec 06

Could it be that SH found out that his wife had an affair in Dec 06, but didn't know with who (ie, she wouldn't say who the other person was).

 

[momto3kids]

Could it be that SH found out that his wife had an affair in Dec 06, but didn't know with who (ie, she wouldn't say who the other person was).

He knew it was BC. SH affidavit, #10.

.........I was angry at Brad, but we still remained friends.

 

[jmflu]

They were his children too and ensuring that he did not come home from work one day to find that she had taken them out of the country does not seem like a controlling thing to do. What person, who loves their children, would not take similar steps to prevent that from happening? I get the feeling in this forum that the custody of the children should be hers exclusively that he had absolutely no right to his own children. Until those legal papers were signed and custody had been established legally, I think I would have taken the passports too.

You are not so much proving your point about lack of controlling behavior as you are justifying it.

 

[raisincharlie]

He knew it was BC. SH affidavit, #10.

.........I was angry at Brad, but we still remained friends.

Since Brad denied this affair to Nancy for over a year, it is very possible he never face to face admitted it to SH. In Brad's deposition he indicates he told SH about it approximately one month before the deposition. As with many other things, it is confusing what Brad means by that. What is not confusing is SH was not overly impressed with Brad based on what he told Dr. Gould, nor did he testify on Brad's behalf.

 

[jmflu]

No, BC controlled a passport so that NC couldn't leave the country with his kids. I'd have done the same darn thing. She could have left if she want, she just couldn't have taken his kids to another country. That isn't controlling and it is rational in my opinion. If she had gone to Canada, it's possible he would have never seen them again.

Just because you would have done the same and can justify it in your own mind, does not mean it is not controlling.

 

[jmflu]

That's true. But NC did not have a right to take their children and leave the country. She didn't. I was doing business in Ottawa a few years ago and decided to fly my wife and daughter up for the weekend. I had to sign a letter giving my wife permission to take my daughter out of the country. She didn't have the right to do it without my consent. And that is the way it should be.

And therefore, that is all that should have been needed in the case, without BC controlling the passports.

 

[ncsu95]

Just because you would have done the same and can justify it in your own mind, does not mean it is not controlling.

And just because you and the other people on here that know BC to be guilty feel it is controlling does not mean it is controlling.

 

[ncsu95]

And therefore, that is all that should have been needed in the case, without BC controlling the passports.

Wrong. First of all, I did not have to have the letter notarized, so she could have done one herself. Second, I don't believe customs asked my wife to see the letter...so it's possible she could have gone without it even though it is supposed to be required.

 

[Anderson]

Since Brad denied this affair to Nancy for over a year, it is very possible he never face to face admitted it to SH. In Brad's deposition he indicates he told SH about it approximately one month before the deposition. As with many other things, it is confusing what Brad means by that. What is not confusing is SH was not overly impressed with Brad based on what he told Dr. Gould, nor did he testify on Brad's behalf.

Yes, I have been wondering about this too. SH says that he knew about the affair in the initial affidavit. SH said that they stayed friends. SH was BC's biggest supporter, had BC over to his house during the search and included stories about BC on his website, which have now disappeared.

Then BC says that he told SH a month before the deposition about the affair and SH stops being as supportive. Could it be that he told SH about the details of the affair a month before the deposition? Could this be because Brad could finally see that it was all going to come out anyway? As you say,
it appears that SH is currently not overly impressed with BC.

MH seems to be his main man these days. MH is now the one that emphasizes NC's exaggerations (trapped because she didn't have a car), but he has no first hand knowledge regarding the truthfulness of her statements with regard to the relationship between NC and BC.

 

[jmflu]

And just because you and the other people on here that know BC to be guilty feel it is controlling does not mean it is controlling.

Take the "BC is guilty" out of it and you still have controlling behavior.

It seems you are unwilling to accept the definition of controlling behavior. Perhaps because you exhibit, or would exhibit it, yourself, and understand where BC was coming from, and you don't like it being called "controlling." Or, perhaps you have witnessed more extreme controlling behavior and therefore do not think BC's behavior falls into that category.

 

[jmflu]

Petra, just wanted to say, I am really enjoying your posts!

 

[boxy]

IMO, I hope more is taken into consideration than the past tense here.
I fully suspect that the near future well being of the girls will be taken under consideration.

BC, imo, will not be able to keep up his past life style. Working FT, living in the same house, day care, club memberships, etc. He now has even more credit card debt due to putting the legal and psych fees on the cards.
If his mom comes to watch the girls full time for a year, I hope he has started or completed the process of her being able to stay in USA for more than 3 months at a time. Otherwise she will have to leave and come back ,etc. The girls in their short lives have also been closer to the maternal family not the paternal side. (vacations, holidays, visits from NC family, past three months, etc.)

So what does the near and short term future bring for the well being of the children.

- a father/household that is so in debt and will only add more debt due to legal bills.

- an eminent foreclosure, bankrptcy, downsizing, or sale of house and furnishes, move from their only known residence- without their mother's assistance and prescence.

-a father than will continue to be consumed in the legal process concerning the murder of his wife. Innocent, guilty-it doesn't matter. BC will still have to be heavily involved in bringing the murderer to justice.

-more emotional involvement of BC with children, since he is sole surviving parent--also more involvement with school, children's friends, activities and any psychologial follow up and counselling they will need regarding loss of their mother./ loss of maternal family contact/ impending move/new full time caretaker who they do not have a very close relationship, etc.

Just some thoughts, imo.
This is a bleak, painful near and short term future these little girls look forward to anyway it plays out.

I do not believe because BC is their father that he has any "right "to only add more turmoil and burden his children with so many up coming life changes.

No parent does. These are little human beings with fears, feelings, thoughts being shaped everyday. Do they really need extra misery now, when all is still so uncertain??

I think you are correct, that there will be some consideration of whether abuse, neglect, and/or abandonment is likely to occur in the future.

With regard to the rest of your post, please remember that NC's family could have avoided adding to the turmoil of the children. They could have sought to help support the girls in their home rather than seeking to have them removed.

 

[boxy]

BC has to move into ironman mode!!!!!!

This is the biggest challenge of his life!!!!

Absolutely! Too bad he now has to do so not only without the support of NC's family and friends, but fighting them all the way in addition to the challenges of being a single parent.

 

[raisincharlie]

Yes, I have been wondering about this too. SH says that he knew about the affair in the initial affidavit. SH said that they stayed friends. SH was BC's biggest supporter, had BC over to his house during the search and included stories about BC on his website, which have now disappeared.

Then BC says that he told SH a month before the deposition about the affair and SH stops being as supportive. Could it be that he told SH about the details of the affair a month before the deposition? Could this be because Brad could finally see that it was all going to come out anyway? As you say,
it appears that SH is currently not overly impressed with BC.

MH seems to be his main man these days. MH is now the one that emphasizes NC's exaggerations (trapped because she didn't have a car), but he has no first hand knowledge regarding the truthfulness of her statements with regard to the relationship between NC and BC.

Seems MH also avoided the subject of LE attempting to coerce him into admiting he used Nancy's phone on the 12th in some fashion. I wonder why.

 

[petra]

I think you are correct, that there will be some consideration of whether abuse, neglect, and/or abandonment is likely to occur in the future.

With regard to the rest of your post, please remember that NC's family could have avoided adding to the turmoil of the children. They could have sought to help support the girls in their home rather than seeking to have them removed.

So true.
Everyone could have gone to NCs burial in Canada and then returned in some fashion to help with the girls in Carey. That is hindsight-a woulda, coulda, shoulda.
Did the first decision come from the judge, that the girls would go to Canada with the R's and the L,s and then return for temp hearing issue?
And then the temp hearing issue was settled between parties behind closed doors without the judge?
Am I remembering this correctly?

 

[Anderson]

I think you are correct, that there will be some consideration of whether abuse, neglect, and/or abandonment is likely to occur in the future.

With regard to the rest of your post, please remember that NC's family could have avoided adding to the turmoil of the children. They could have sought to help support the girls in their home rather than seeking to have them removed.

If you can, then put yourself in NC's family's place for a minute. Think about your daughter going through all of the problems that we now know existed between BC and NC. Think about the moment that your daughter is missing. Your other daughter, her twin sister has been worried the husband of the missing daughter becoming more controlling and potentially violent for some time. Your son in law does not even call you when your daughter goes missing. First he doesn't call you to tell you that she is missing. He never calls you to tell you that he is worried about her. Finally your daughter turns up murdered. (And who knows what else I have not included in this scenario). Would any of this really be okay with you? Wouldn't you try to protect your Grandchildren?

I think that the Rentzes are incredible people. I think that they acted in the most responsible way possible for the girls.

 

[jmflu]

I think you are correct, that there will be some consideration of whether abuse, neglect, and/or abandonment is likely to occur in the future.

With regard to the rest of your post, please remember that NC's family could have avoided adding to the turmoil of the children. They could have sought to help support the girls in their home rather than seeking to have them removed.

Very difficult to act so rationally when one's daughter has just been murdered. I wouldn't want my grandchildren to stay in that home!!!!!