Found Deceased TN - Riley Strain, 22, missing after leaving bar, Nashville, 8 March 2024 #3

[NCWatcher]

Thousands sign petition to pass law named after Riley Strain

It seems there are often attempts at passing new laws after a tragedy. The immediate impulse to try to prevent future tragedies is very understandable. And some laws that have come from high-profile tragedies make sense. But many proposed laws don't. The saying "hard cases make bad law" applies to this attempt, I think. We debated the idea earlier of requiring bars to be responsible for getting intoxicated people home and it's not realistic IMO. I see the above blurb said bars would be required to call "a cab" but this is hardly the heyday of Yellow Cab service with vetted drivers. It would seem forcing an intoxicated into an Uber could be unsafe. And what happens when the person pukes in the Uber and gets dumped out who knows where?
MOO

 

[Universecalling]

I believe they were bused in, attended the funeral and bused out.

Whether they were close friends or not (though I think a roommate or two were on that trip), the fact of the matter is they went on a frat trip, one of them is missing for close to 24hrs, and they go on with their life.

I’m not insinuating frat boys had anything to do with his disappearance and death; but rather am appalled by the lack of care about a human being that they’ve known for more than two days.

 

[LetsSolvIt]

I find it a little odd that he texted and FT’d his mother. I was in a sorority and I have known lots of fraternity boys. I would think that at an out of town function with drinking, the last person they’d be thinking about is mother…JMO

I’ve been wondering about this from the get-go. I have two adult sons and friends with sons, they wouldn’t ever talk to Mom everyday, especially in college. Wonder if RS had a health condition and needed to be reminded to take meds with all the distractions of college life? IDK. Only a thought.

A friend with a very sensible/RA, dean’s list daughter even needed to check on her all the time in college because she had epilepsy. Missing her meds one day or getting over tired and she would end up with a grand malle.

So short of a health issue, I agree, seems very unusual for college guy to talk to mom everyday. Might be part of their difficulties in starting to grieve. OMO. Lord, please bring them peace! I can’t imagine their pain.

 

[jenbo1970]

I’ve been wondering about this from the get-go. I have two adult sons and friends with sons, they wouldn’t ever talk to Mom everyday, especially in college. Wonder if RS had a health condition and needed to be reminded to take meds with all the distractions of college life? IDK. Only a thought.

A friend with a very sensible/RA, dean’s list daughter even needed to check on her all the time in college because she had epilepsy. Missing her meds one day or getting over tired and she would end up with a grand malle.

So short of a health issue, I agree, seems very unusual for college guy to talk to mom everyday. Might be part of their difficulties in starting to grieve. OMO. Lord, please bring them peace! I can’t imagine their pain.

The weirdest part (to me) is that he was texting and calling her while he was out bar hopping with his fraternity brothers. ‍

 

[Sundog]

Does anyone find it strange that he texted and face timed his mother??

<Snipped for focus>

My thinking is that it is possible that RS and his mother may have been through a lot when RS was very young and based on whatever hardship they may have faced, their bonding was very strong. That is just my speculation, but if that is the case then the frequent texting, etc. could be something that developed early on when he left home to go to college and it has just continued. Regardless, they had a very close mother-son relationship.

 

[Ladyotm]

Poor family. IMO they are clearly grasping at straws trying to make sense of his death. Can't say I'd do anything different as a parent. But, all the evidence still points to death by misadventure.

I hope they canbegin to accept the facts and move into their "new normal.

 

[Jillyg]

It seems there are often attempts at passing new laws after a tragedy. The immediate impulse to try to prevent future tragedies is very understandable. And some laws that have come from high-profile tragedies make sense. But many proposed laws don't. The saying "hard cases make bad law" applies to this attempt, I think. We debated the idea earlier of requiring bars to be responsible for getting intoxicated people home and it's not realistic IMO. I see the above blurb said bars would be required to call "a cab" but this is hardly the heyday of Yellow Cab service with vetted drivers. It would seem forcing an intoxicated into an Uber could be unsafe. And what happens when the person pukes in the Uber and gets dumped out who knows where?
MOO

I agree. That is nonsensical. All this, just to relinquish the individual of any personal responsibility for their own actions. Maybe kids need to be taught not to drink until they blackout. If we can teach kids about seatbelts to keep them safe, then teach them not to drink to excess..

 

[SMK777]

It seems there are often attempts at passing new laws after a tragedy. The immediate impulse to try to prevent future tragedies is very understandable. And some laws that have come from high-profile tragedies make sense. But many proposed laws don't. The saying "hard cases make bad law" applies to this attempt, I think. We debated the idea earlier of requiring bars to be responsible for getting intoxicated people home and it's not realistic IMO. I see the above blurb said bars would be required to call "a cab" but this is hardly the heyday of Yellow Cab service with vetted drivers. It would seem forcing an intoxicated into an Uber could be unsafe. And what happens when the person pukes in the Uber and gets dumped out who knows where?
MOO

Probably it would be better to use this case as an example of what can go horribly wrong if you get too intoxicated.

Being buzzed is far safer and more cheerful. However, I know from my own college years that sometimes you get overly intoxicated by attempting to maintain a buzz. You don’t want it to go away, so you attempt to maintain it by continuing to drink, and before you know it, you’re extremely intoxicated.

Maybe a rule of thumb that a less drunk friend needs to walk the person to safety.

 

[NCWatcher]

Probably it would be better to use this case as an example of what can go horribly wrong if you get too intoxicated.

Being buzzed is far safer and more cheerful. However, I know from my own college years that sometimes you get overly intoxicated by attempting to maintain a buzz. You don’t want it to go away, so you attempt to maintain it by continuing to drink, and before you know it, you’re extremely intoxicated.

Maybe a rule of thumb that a less drunk friend needs to walk the person to safety.

Yes, I think this case and others involving death/injury while intoxicated can perhaps form a "teachable moment" and save lives that way. But a law requiring bars to arrange rides just won't work & would create other problems IMO.

I keep going back to the fact that we don't know what that group usually did when out and someone got too drunk or got tossed from a bar. (I'm pretty sure the issue had arisen before.) We also don't know what RS said to the others. I'm pretty sure if I was a 22-year old college male out with male friends & I got booted from a bar around 9:30 on a Friday night, I'd tell my friends to go on partying without me. I don't think I'd want or expect someone to walk me home if home (home for the night anyway) was only a few blocks away and was walkable under normal circumstances. (In other words, no highways to traverse.) And if it wasn't safe for me to walk home, how would it be safe for one of the other drinkers to walk me home and then walk back alone? Finally, IF RS had gotten back to the hotel, he probably would have been safe-- wouldn't have fallen in the river anyway and probably would have just passed out. But bad things do happen to intoxicated people even at home or in hotels. They drown in swimming pools and sometimes in bathtubs, they fall down stairs, they cut themselves on sharp objects, they hit their heads... It's the intoxication that usually leads to accidents, not necessarily the setting. Still, look at what happened to the actor Bob Saget ("Danny Tanner" on Full House) in a hotel room and he wasn't even drunk.
MOO

 

[SMK777]

Yes, I think this case and others involving death/injury while intoxicated can perhaps form a "teachable moment" and save lives that way. But a law requiring bars to arrange rides just won't work & would create other problems IMO.

I keep going back to the fact that we don't know what that group usually did when out and someone got too drunk or got tossed from a bar. (I'm pretty sure the issue had arisen before.) We also don't know what RS said to the others. I'm pretty sure if I was a 22-year old college male out with male friends & I got booted from a bar around 9:30 on a Friday night, I'd tell my friends to go on partying without me. I don't think I'd want or expect someone to walk me home if home (home for the night anyway) was only a few blocks away and was walkable under normal circumstances. (In other words, no highways to traverse.) And if it wasn't safe for me to walk home, how would it be safe for one of the other drinkers to walk me home and then walk back alone? Finally, IF RS had gotten back to the hotel, he probably would have been safe-- wouldn't have fallen in the river anyway and probably would have just passed out. But bad things do happen to intoxicated people even at home or in hotels. They drown in swimming pools and sometimes in bathtubs, they fall down stairs, they cut themselves on sharp objects, they hit their heads... It's the intoxication that usually leads to accidents, not necessarily the setting. Still, look at what happened to the actor Bob Saget ("Danny Tanner" on Full House) in a hotel room and he wasn't even drunk.
MOO

That’s true. I also read once about a college girl who was heavily drunk and walked back by her friend to the townhome they all rented. She was put to bed, but some time later rose and fell down the steep flight of stairs and died.

I think what’s probably torturing Riley’s mother and family is the simple question, Why did this have to happen? And why to him? That’s the kind of torment basically any accident will cause. There was a Nashville trip last year and Riley and presumably everyone in the fraternity made it back safe and sound.

 

[rescuemom]

I believe they were bused in, attended the funeral and bused out.

Whether they were close friends or not (though I think a roommate or two were on that trip), the fact of the matter is they went on a frat trip, one of them is missing for close to 24hrs, and they go on with their life.

I’m not insinuating frat boys had anything to do with his disappearance and death; but rather am appalled by the lack of care about a human being that they’ve known for more than two days.

I can see bars not wanting to assist every drunk. I meant the group he was with, IMO

 

[NCWatcher]

That’s true. I also read once about a college girl who was heavily drunk and walked back by her friend to the townhome they all rented. She was put to bed, but some time later rose and fell down the steep flight of stairs and died.

I think what’s probably torturing Riley’s mother and family is the simple question, Why did this have to happen? And why to him? That’s the kind of torment basically any accident will cause. There was a Nashville trip last year and Riley and presumably everyone in the fraternity made it back safe and sound.

Yes, that is the kind of questioning even minor accidents can elicit. I felt that way once when someone rammed into the back of my car at a stoplight. That accident involved only property damage not loss of life or even serious injury. But I still had thoughts about how everything would have been different had I left home a few minutes earlier or a few minutes later. Or taken a different route. Or planned to turn right at the next corner instead of at that corner. So I agree intrusive thoughts of alternative scenarios are probably tormenting RS's family. For me, my car being fully repaired at no cost to me pretty much made the what-ifs go away. I'm not sure what can help RS's family.
MOO

 

[SMK777]

Yes, that is the kind of questioning even minor accidents can elicit. I felt that way once when someone rammed into the back of my car at a stoplight. That accident involved only property damage not loss of life or even serious injury. But I still had thoughts about how everything would have been different had I left home a few minutes earlier or a few minutes later. Or taken a different route. Or planned to turn right at the next corner instead of at that corner. So I agree intrusive thoughts of alternative scenarios are probably tormenting RS's family. For me, my car being fully repaired at no cost to me pretty much made the what-ifs go away. I'm not sure what can help RS's family.
MOO

Exactly. We second guess even non-life changing accidents, so in the case of RS, it must be massively intrusive amounts of questions and regrets. I’m sure with my own son, God forbid, I’d be in the same condition.

 

[arielilane]

Coming on late, y'all, and this was probably already posted. Glad to know that RS family got his bank records. Good info to have, imo. Did toxicology report come back? TIA
https://twitter.com/BrianEntin
@BrianEntin

We now know which bars Riley Strain went to in Nashville. 1. Miranda Lambert's bar 2. Garth Brook's bar 3. Kid Rock's bar 4. Luke Bryan's barT hey are not sure which bar he was at when he texted his mom about the drink not tasting good, but they know it was not Luke Bryans.

https://twitter.com/x/status/1780572030707827143

@BrianEntin

Riley's family says they are now know all the bars and order because they got access to Riley's bank records.


8:21 AM · Apr 17, 2024

 

[December]

I don't know how they can ever "make a law" to prevent drunk people (or people in general) from having bad things happen to them. If he had been dropped off in front of his hotel or even in the lobby, something bad could still happen. He could just leave again, for example.

If he had been slipped something, even if he had gone to his room, he could have gotten sick without anyone knowing it was happening.

 

[Teche]

I’ve been wondering about this from the get-go. I have two adult sons and friends with sons, they wouldn’t ever talk to Mom everyday, especially in college. Wonder if RS had a health condition and needed to be reminded to take meds with all the distractions of college life? IDK. Only a thought.

A friend with a very sensible/RA, dean’s list daughter even needed to check on her all the time in college because she had epilepsy. Missing her meds one day or getting over tired and she would end up with a grand malle.

So short of a health issue, I agree, seems very unusual for college guy to talk to mom everyday. Might be part of their difficulties in starting to grieve. OMO. Lord, please bring them peace! I can’t imagine their pain.

I hear you. My son attended college nearby and lived in an apartment. We’d only hear from him if he needed something like a meal or a tire fixed, but his girlfriend called often to say hello.

 

[deadfoot13]

I believe they were bused in, attended the funeral and bused out.

Whether they were close friends or not (though I think a roommate or two were on that trip), the fact of the matter is they went on a frat trip, one of them is missing for close to 24hrs, and they go on with their life.

I’m not insinuating frat boys had anything to do with his disappearance and death; but rather am appalled by the lack of care about a human being that they’ve known for more than two days.

At this point, no one knows anything about what the fraternity brothers may have been feeling -- none of them have provided that information, so it's all assumption. In their defense, they didn't know what had happened and may have assumed that he either met a girl and went home with her, or fell asleep in a park or wherever and would show up with an entertaining story that they would laugh about for years. I don't get how it's possible to pass judgement on these young people when absolutely nothing is known about their side of things?

 

[LetsSolvIt]

The weirdest part (to me) is that he was texting and calling her while he was out bar hopping with his fraternity brothers. ‍

Totally agree and trying to figure how that might have related to the evening’s events. I recall early on before he was found, momma said she normally talked to him everyday. OMO.

 

[LetsSolvIt]

I hope they canbegin to accept the facts and move into their "new normal.

Years ago, my mother was killed in a car accident that involved no one else. It was daytime and sunny. She was on a parkway with no intersections and no traffic. She left my house to drop something at my grandparents’ and then head home to make Dad’s dinner. But one one ever saw her again, not alive.

There was only one witness — an off-duty policemen coincidently driving behind her. My grandfather and I spent everyday for months after she died trying to make sense of it, despite the detailed report of the off-duty police officer, a trained observer. We visited the ER where she was med-evac-ted, we went to the helio-pad, we wrote for every report and medical record, we read her autopsy over and over, we looked at the police photos, I went and located her car to look at the windshield and dents, and blood, and on, and on . . .

All they said was she glanced away for a second, lost control, and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, but there just had to be more . . . For four living generations and lateral family, this wasn’t a good enough answer . . .

Something so sudden and horrific is too difficult to get your head around. I get Riley’s family.

 

[doublestop]

So short of a health issue, I agree, seems very unusual for college guy to talk to mom everyday. Might be part of their difficulties in starting to grieve. OMO. Lord, please bring them peace! I can’t imagine their pain.

Not really, my son talked to me every day on Facebook chat while in college, and still does as a young adult. He sees me as a person he can trust...although I can't say he always takes my advice.