TX - Luke Jacobson, 7 mos, dies in hot truck, Houston, 4 May 2012

[Redbird]

Did your co-worker's baby pass away?

Unfortunately, yes.

 

[Flutterby80]

I can see how this could happen. I can't imagine having to live with myself if I was the parent who did this. And can you imagine being the other parent, and being able to forgive your spouse? Just like the parent or grandparent who backs over their child in the driveway....how do you ever come back from that?

To me, this is so entirely different than the parent who leaves a child in the car so they can get their nails done, gamble at the casino...whatever. These actions involve intent, and to me that makes all the difference. Or the parent who is so drunk or doped up they forget to take the baby into the house when they get home, pass out for the night and the baby is in the car all night. While those actions might not show intent, they do show a total lack of disregard for your child. I hope they don't prosecute this father. There's nothing they can ever do to punish him anyway. He's living in hell as it is.

By the way, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the big stuffed animal idea! I can see how having some huge, purple stuffed animal sitting next to you would be a good way to remember. I hate rear-facing carseats. My son and my nieces had acid reflux issues, so they spit up a lot. I always worried about them choking and us not being able to see them from the front seat. I understand the safety aspect, but I wish there was a way they could be safe while you could keep an eye on them.

 

[BrownRice]

These stories are horrible. I agree with the other poster about how this is different than someone going in and leaving their kid intentionally while they gamble, shop, etc. When I had little ones I was scared to death I would do this. However, being a stay at home mom, kids were always with me, so I never really had a change in my daily routine (which seems to be the common denominator here).

One thing I think would eliminate most of these would be to have a procedure in place with the day care/babysitter that if the baby doesn't show up one day w/out notice for the provider to call both of the parents and keep calling the parents until they acknowledge it's an excused absence.

I don't know if the stuffed animal or other visual item would help all the time because the parent may just over look it if they're busy or distracted.

 

[Sonya610]

*snark alert* Because investors losing a cent or two a share for a few years is soooo obviously more important than a child's life, you know...

Ummm...investors are people like you and me. You can certainly offer to invest all of your money in this endeavor! If the parents don't buy it then you lose all of your money.

The market just isn't there and I sure don't want to see auto manufacturers FORCED to put new "safety" features into place that are are a real hinderance to the owners of the vehicle (like front passenger side airbags that can't be turned off and can't be legally disabled), neither do I the taxpayer want to flip the bill for safety devices for other people's kids.

There are already sophisticated heat sensor units for police dogs, if the car temp rises the windows roll down automatically and the handler is alerted with a beeper. If the market exists the products are sold, their slogan says "No K9 Left Behind! http://www.acek9.com/hot_n_pop_pro/k9_hot_n_pop_pro.htm

When the unit is manually turned off it beeps many times and displays the following warning message:

" SHUTTING DOWN "
"!! REMOVE K-9 !!"​

We have developed and tested K-9 detection systems & pressure mats to detect the presence of the K-9 in the vehicle. During extensive testing we have found that they have shortcomings during installation and long term durability.

I don't have one of those fancy units so I went old school regarding the danger of hot cars. I check the backseat every darn time whether I have a dog with me or not! I also have both cars fitted with police style rear window bars for ventilation.

 

[not_my_kids]

And this is why I love smartphones. Reminder apps. Without them, I would likely forget one of my kids.

I understand how it happens. Most of the time, it's exhaustion, and the rock solid belief that the child is somewhere else. I have to remind my phone to remind me to get the kids out of the car when we get where we're going, because I'm too tired to trust myself to do it. And for me, like a lot of parents, that's just life right now. There's no way around it.

ETA: I've always had clip on mirrors on the back of the seat that reflects the baby. I never leave the car seat in the truck if little man isn't in it. That's a pretty good reminder. If the seat's there, the baby's there. I also open the back sliding window of my truck at least a crack so that I have to lean completely into the back seat to close it.

 

[jjenny]

From this article linked above by daisy7:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dy...2/27/AR2009022701549.html?sid=ST2009030602446



and



Seriously, read the article. There is a whole heck of a lot more material there that will change the way you see these parents. No matter how much confidence we have in ourselves as a parents, it could happen to any of us...

All JMO

It could happen to any of us? Really? Most people manage not to forget their baby in the car. And you can use memory "tricks" if you are concerned about this issue and your memory. Put a bell on the carrier, have something with you that reminds you that a carrier in your car, etc. Don't just throw your hands up in the air and say "it can happen to anyone."
__________________

 

[Lovejac]

Confession- When I am parking and it is hot out, if I see a carseat in the car next to mine I always check to make sure it is empty. I just started checking again this past week.

Thank you for the brilliant suggestion!

I will start doing this immediately too.

 

[Belinda]

I feel very badly for the parents this happens to. You can see the devastation they are feeling, so it isn't a case of not caring. These are usually extremely well-cared for children and greatly valued in thier families. I can understand this happening when the world is so fast-paced now and most often both parents work, so things tend to get switched around to accomodate various things. I don't believe they should be charged.

There are too many hard core abusers out there that get a slap on the wrist to charge these obviously loving parents who have made a horrendous mistake. No, it shouldn't happen, but it does. My heart goes out to all of them. I can't imagine ever having to deal with such a thing.

 

[SkewedView]

It could happen to any of us? Really? Most people manage not to forget their baby in the car. And you can use memory "tricks" if you are concerned about this issue and your memory. Put a bell on the carrier, have something with you that reminds you that a carrier in your car, etc. Don't just throw your hands up in the air and say "it can happen to anyone."
__________________

Wow. Just...wow...

 

[jjenny]

Wow. Just...wow...

?????
It's only common sense that people can do things to help them remember not to forget their child in the car. Simple things that can prevent this sort of thing from ever happening. Yet it happens every year.

"Keep a large teddy bear in the child’s car seat when it’s not occupied. When the child is placed in the seat, put the teddy bear in the front passenger seat. It’s a visual reminder that anytime the teddy bear is up front, you’ll know the child is in the back seat in a child safety seat."

https://fletcherallenblog.wordpress...fety-protecting-your-child-from-hyperthermia/

 

[Donjeta]

I think strings and teddy bears might work for a while but after a bit one can get habituated to their presence and they may some day fail to trigger alarms. At least that's what often happens to my visual reminders. I put the stuff I need to remember in a visible place so I'll see it when I leave and then I walk past it without even blinking anyway when it's time to go.

 

[jjenny]

I think strings and teddy bears might work for a while but after a bit one can get habituated to their presence and they may some day fail to trigger alarms. At least that's what often happens to my visual reminders. I put the stuff I need to remember in a visible place so I'll see it when I leave and then I walk past it without even blinking anyway when it's time to go.

Teddy bear should only be in a front seat when the child is in a back seat, and not at all times.

 

[SkewedView]

?????
It's only common sense that people can do things to help them remember not to forget their child in the car. Simple things that can prevent this sort of thing from ever happening. Yet it happens every year.

"Keep a large teddy bear in the child’s car seat when it’s not occupied. When the child is placed in the seat, put the teddy bear in the front passenger seat. It’s a visual reminder that anytime the teddy bear is up front, you’ll know the child is in the back seat in a child safety seat."

https://fletcherallenblog.wordpress...fety-protecting-your-child-from-hyperthermia/

You just proved my point - without reminder tools, it can happen to any of us. We here tend to be much more aware of these things, and thus will take such precautions, but good parents who are no less responsible, but not as well informed, will say 'who could forget their child?' and not take any precautions...a recipe for disaster that the parent is entirely unaware of.

I just don't see how it is their fault for being unaware of something that is frankly at the edges of public perception. Most parents don't get past the headlines of these stories - it's just too horrifying - so they just assume that it must be due to some real negligence. Add in the parental hubris that we are all sometimes guilty of (I'm a good parent, that would never happen to my child...), mix in the fact that this happens most often with new parents who are already overwhelmed by all of the changes to their lives and finish it all off with the realistic fact that this is, for all its tragedy, still an incredibly rare phenomenon...and yeah, I really don't find fault with their lack of preparation. It is, as the sales projections for the above mentioned safety devices show, the norm, the common paradigm. We are the unusual ones in this instance, the freakishly prepared.

All JMO

 

[jjenny]

You just proved my point - without reminder tools, it can happen to any of us. We here tend to be much more aware of these things, and thus will take such precautions, but good parents who are no less responsible, but not as well informed, will say 'who could forget their child?' and not take any precautions...a recipe for disaster that the parent is entirely unaware of.

I just don't see how it is their fault for being unaware of something that is frankly at the edges of public perception. Most parents don't get past the headlines of these stories - it's just too horrifying - so they just assume that it must be due to some real negligence. Add in the parental hubris that we are all sometimes guilty of (I'm a good parent, that would never happen to my child...), mix in the fact that this happens most often with new parents who are already overwhelmed by all of the changes to their lives and finish it all off with the realistic fact that this is, for all its tragedy, still an incredibly rare phenomenon...and yeah, I really don't find fault with their lack of preparation. It is, as the sales projections for the above mentioned safety devices show, the norm, the common paradigm. We are the unusual ones in this instance, the freakishly prepared.

All JMO

I don't see anything freakish about being prepared for something as simple as not forgetting your child in a hot car. If that's what you need to remember, that's what you need to do.

 

[Donjeta]

Teddy bear should only be in a front seat when the child is in a back seat, and not at all times.

It would still be there often enough to become a familiar sight and not something extraordinary that immediately alerts you that things are wrong.

Not saying that it isn't worth trying, just that if one is in the sort of preoccupied state of stress and sleeplessness that it creates a perfect storm and you fail to be alarmed that you didn't drop off the baby one might fail to be alarmed by the teddybear that is always in the car.

I'd feel better with a loud beeper.

 

[SkewedView]

I don't see anything freakish about being prepared for something as simple as not forgetting your child in a hot car. If that's what you need to remember, that's what you need to do.

Freakish as in unusual. Sorry, the general public has a mindset that this only happens to negligent parents, could never happen to them, so they are not prepared. They don't realize that this is a problem that can happen so easily to even the most caring, attentive & worthy parents, and so they are never even aware that it could become a problem for them.

To imply that these parents are somehow negligent, bad parents because they are (like the vast majority of parents) not prepared for an eventuality that is, again, extremely rare and not even on most people's radars...that just seems like re-victimization to me.

All JMO

 

[jjenny]

It would still be there often enough to become a familiar sight and not something extraordinary that immediately alerts you that things are wrong.

Not saying that it isn't worth trying, just that if one is in the sort of preoccupied state of stress and sleeplessness that it creates a perfect storm and you fail to be alarmed that you didn't drop off the baby one might fail to be alarmed by the teddybear that is always in the car.

I'd feel better with a loud beeper.

Then put your purse in a car seat. You are not going to forget your purse, are you? Or make a habit of always checking backseat of your car.
This ain't rocket science.

 

[Yoda]

The thing is he forgot. Even if he always left his phone in her carseat he could have still forgot. I admit he would have remembered sooner if he uses his phone during the work day and that could have made the difference between life and death, but he forgot. People forget and are distracted. I am thankful that I never forgot my kids in the car/store/etc, but I understand how others who aren't as vigilant as I was could have. I remember those days of stress and pressure and being pulled in a million different directions and trying to keep it all together. There are many things that could have been done but most people don't think they would ever do it. The possibility is not even in their thoughts. We are human, we are imperfect, we all make mistakes. This family and father will never be the same again. Never. Twenty years ago a father in our town left his daughter in the car while he went into work. His wife was supposed to drop her off but that day she couldn't. The home daycare usually called if the toddler didn't show up, but that day was hectic and they didn't. His car had tinted windows and no one could see in. Several people who went into his office that day remember walking past the car. They were sick when they found out she was in there. He got back to the car when work was over and drove home. Not until he was home and saw his wife did he remember. He tried to kill himself. He was devastated. I know they would have traded their lives and everything they own to change what happened.

 

[Jan]

How very horrible! People also leave dogs in their cars, and not always by accident. No living being should be left alone in a car. Some people leave a baby with the car motor running and the air conditioning on to do a quick errand into a building. The motor could stall and the air conditioning could go off. Not only that, but the baby could be kidnapped or the car stolen with the baby in it.

 

[Kat]

Set the alarm on your cell phone to go off ---at the exact time you expect to be at work everyday.

Or set it to go off 5 mins after you expect to be clocked in. Or both.

That alarm is for the parent to stop and think long and hard about where each and every one of their kids are located.

Or someone needs to create an app that will call the parent and ask "hello it's "-:--" AM. Do you know where your kids are?

I agree, it's going to be a long hot summer and there are going to be a lot of threads like this one as there is every single year.