Just the best news, Dillion is safe. This is his own story in his own words on the Find Dillion FB group
DILLON DUFFY MY STORY
So where do I start with this well first of all I just want to say for the past day since ive managed to get wifi and a charger (since my phone died) I just want to say I did not expect me missing to blow up the way it has and have been sat here reading all your beautiful and kind and heart warming messages and iam so over whelmed and so grateful that so many of you care for me and just want me to be safe well I can assure you that Iam safe but I just miss everyone and would like to go home.
MY STORY (PLEASE READ)
So far the past week or so it has been as you all aware I have been missing and wanted to explain to everyone the reasons and why because I feel like you should all know as you have all shown so much support and I am so grateful and cant thank everyone enough. So first off I turned 18 in march which then meant that I could legally do anything so as someone who has an addictive personality I think I do as I have been told by a few people I downloaded betting apps and casino apps and was hooked straight from the go it then developed into a habit and I was doing it more or less everyday I couldnt stop I was hooked so I used to stay up late at night just playing and playing I didn’t care If I won or lost I just liked the thrill of it at this point I had lost too much money and was always owing my mates money for when I got paid because I did it on there accounts sometimes but then the night before I went missing I had lost again and thought this was enough and was reaching breaking point…
Now because of my gambling and other things going on like how I was always getting high and just wanted to escape reality I began to feel very tired very down and reached an all time low and as someone who had never really sufferd from anxiety or depression I think it hit me the hardest because I didn’t know what to do or where to go It was like I had no structure in life as I wasn’t going gym no more I was more in my room just watching Tv or being on my phone all the time and as you know Iam supposed to be going zante next week and had needed to save spending money for it 850 approximately was what i needed for the week and I kept telling my mates that I had the money and that they didn’t need to worry but i felt horrible from keeping this from them and it was killing me inside because I had saved up nothing and wasted all my money on gambling so now there was something like 3 weeks i had to try and get the money and as the time went on I couldn’t save enough and was in desperate need because I didn’t want to disappoint my friends. So then my life began to fall apart more and more which it was I had lost all my confidence in myself as on the Saturday night when I went out for my mates 18th i was not myself at all. I had spiralled into this deep hole where I was lieing to the people I love I didn’t want to get out of bed as following up to this I had faked illness in work for a few days because I didn’t want to do anything and felt helpless so when I was in bed feeling very low I thought why dont I just go why dont I just go away and never come back I wasnt thinking about anyone else at this point because I was just so tired of it all and wanted to do what I wanted and didn’t think about the reprecusions. I also didn’t want to ask my parents for the money because I had already lied to them and said I have all the money so I didnt want to ask them because I thought they would grow suspicion of where it had all gone as i was ashamed and knew they would of been very upset and disappointed and ashamed of me.
So carrying on from the … this is now 2days before I plan to run away I go to my mates to watch the euros whatever and loose more money as now I just didn’t care and was chasing my losses I then went back to my house and knew I needed to go
So this is now the day I go I wake up in the morning and I get my mum to take me too work as usual but I tell her to drop me off at asda so I can get a drink but really I was going back to my house I just didn’t want to be seen by any of my fellow colleagues.
Then I got back to my house and realised I didn’t have any money left so I was thinking of a way I could get some money quick so I traded in my xbox for 180 pounds and shortly after went to the barbers and cut all my hair off as I didn’t want to be recognised by anyone it must of been my anxiety kicking in then when I went back to the house and brought some belongings with me and written a note to reassure my mum and dad that I will be okay Iam just going away for a while but really I was planning to end it all at that time I then bought a train ticket to london as I thought its a big city noone will be able to find me so now I was on the train to london and I removed the sim card in my phone so i couldnt be tracked I then got there and went to a park near by and just lay down on a bench and was contemplating everything that very night I travelled around london and found a place to stay in a park it was a horrible first night then the second day came and I thought this was it todays the day I end it all so at night I travelled out of euston on foot as I didn’t want to use transport incase I got seen on cctv so I was thinking of the easiest ways to go I thought of starving myself, jumping off a bridge, sliting my wrists and walking out in front of car so as I was walking I approached a bridge and thought this was it so as i walked closer and closer to it I began to think of everyone I loved and what they would do if I killed myself and how it would break the family and just everything so I began to shake and let out tears and just couldn’t pull myself to do it that night I walked alot and thought about everything the next day I woke up and the sun was shining it was so hot and I was in some forest and I thought life cant get any worse iam at rock bottom let me give life one last try so I went on a long walk and realised there is so much more to life and started to pay attention more to what was going on around me and decided to take a detox off my phone as well so no emotions could get to me i remember that day it was a good day I spoke to some homeless people and tried to relate with them and see why they carry on and one of them said I have a son that will not speak to me but I will not leave this life because I believe there is always a chance he might want to talk and for that is the reason I continue to live I felt emotional and began to think of my parents and sister and how much I love them. A few days went bye and I was slowly but surely beginning to feel okay with myself and realised it can only get better so over the few days I was walking everywhere I was in tottenham for a night then hertfordshire for two then I was in Watham and west minister for a night and more which I cant think of right now Hertfordshire was good because the people were all so nice and I began to try new things like I went to the church have started to read the bible but then day 7 came and it was getting late like 6pm and I remember because I wanted to watch England so I began my search to an other place and as I started walking trying to find another village or just some sort of place I ended up walking for over 5hrs that night it was awful I wanted to be swallowed by the universe because my legs were killing and everywhere turn I made was just a massive house I ended up staying outside one of them houses that night because I couldn’t find the end but when I was walking in the pitch black on narrow road surrounded by fields and big houses I just wanted to go home because I missed everyone so much. Now the next day came I missed home so I managed to get a charger for my phone and got wifi and looked on social media and couldn’t believe my eyes when I seen dillon duffy all over the news I was scared and didn’t know what to do at that moment I then saw loads of notifications from fb as this was the one social media account I forgot to log out of and saw this group about me and was gobsmacked when I seen over 20k members all looking for me I suddenly began reading the messages and was so overwhelmed and brought a tear to my eye how many people cared about me getting home and suddenly I felt loved by all of you and the only thing I wanted to do was text that Iam safe but I couldn’t pull myself to do it I was just so anxious of everything and just seeing everybody and having to explain it just felt impossible so I decided not to text and then the next day came and still was too scared to text and then today I thought I have to do it because I just miss everyone so much and want my family and bed back and hope they can forgive me and when I saw in a news article that my dad was looking for me for over 6 days it broke me and I knew I couldn’t put you through this anymore it was hurting me my family and everyone and the message that my mum wrote about what iam like brought me to tears
So I would just like to thank everyone for helping me because them messages mean everything and I am really grateful for everyone in my life and just want to go home so Mum Dad when you see this I love you I want to come home I will log onto snap so you can see my location and come get me I love you all
Dillon
