At first I was like "Okay, adoptions don't always work out, especially with older/traumatized kids, at least they left him somewhere safe" but then I read about everything this boy went through BEFORE he was left at the hospital.
Yes, it is upsetting and not right.
I had acquaintances, years ago, who did a foreign adoption and it was a disaster. The adopting couple was educated, financially secure, and loving parents to children of their own. They perhaps had idealistic visions of what the adoption would be like, but they were also experienced parents who did their research and were ready for challenges.
HOWEVER, the challenges were way, way, way beyond what they were prepared for, to the point that they were truly fearful for their safety and especially fearful for the safety of their children and pets. They had to put locks on all the bedroom doors because the adopted child was that dangerous. Their bio children were confined to their locked bedrooms.
THERE IS NO HELP for families in this situation. The child is legally yours and you cannot "undo" an adoption, at least not without risking being deemed unfit parents for your other kids. The couple was frantic that they would lose their bio children as they came forward with the troubles with the adopted child. To say it was a stress is a complete understatement.
Finally they arranged a private adoption with someone who didn't have other children and who could dedicate her life to caring for this child. I hope it worked well for everyone, but I know it crushed my acquaintance.
I look at these situations with the knowledge of how desperate parents can be. I DO NOT CONDONE abuse or mistreatment, so please don't come at me - I KNOW. It is not right to withhold bathroom access or to abandon a child. THAT IS NOT RIGHT, OF COURSE.
But I want to know more before I assume I understand what brought the family to this situation. And I encourage people to realize there is essentially no help if you find yourself with an adoption beyond your capabilities. OF COURSE, abandoning a child is NOT RIGHT so please don't think I'm saying it is.
jmo