Look, I am all for finding Kyron. I love him and want him home to a loving family. But I have to ask, if DY and TY felt this strongly about TH, why not have put the flyers out the day she went to her parents, Why just now....If it were me, and it is not, I'd be on the corner of their street putting the flyers out...I personally, would not have waited this long. But what do I know!
That one seems fairly easy to answer: KH and DY have been (probably inadvertantly) shone on by LE. Every time a new tip comes in, every time a search is started, each new piece of evidence (whether it really relates to the case or not), gives fresh hope.
Up goes the rollercoaster!
And then every time the searchers come back empty handed, every tip that goes nowhere, every meeting where they hear that there just isn't (enough) evidence yet, dashes their hopes.
Down goes the rollercoaster!
But in a way, it turns into a seductive cycle. Each new hope leads to a new disappointment but is followed up by a new hope. There's this constant almost superstitious belief that if they do everything just right, one of those hopes will be fulfilled. Just gotta hang in there, keep hoping, do the right stuff and it can't possibly turn out wrong... can it?
It goes on and on and on, while they really have no idea what to do next. Stay at home? Fly to one of the coasts to try a big media push? Do fundraisers in Portland? Stay quiet and keep trying to have faith that LE knows what they are doing? Say to heck with what LE wants and go out searching on my own? Break the faith with LE in some way by hiring a PI?
Gosh, it makes my head hurt to think of it all and I'm not even related to Kyron.
Then there is the possibility that KH and DY are no longer working together because of some hinted-at disagreement. Even if they are no longer feeling particularly supportive of one another, neither of them wants to get in the other's way, for fear of ruining some chance of getting Kyron back.
I've been in a slightly similar situation, when my service dog went missing for ten days. I got so emotionally fried so quickly that all I could do was pick a couple friends that I knew from previous experience to be exceptional strategic thinkers and do whatever they suggested I do. I am so, so grateful that it worked, that due to the wise counsel of my friends, I got my beloved dog and helper back.
I've also watched other missing persons cases and it seems to me that the families do follow certain patterns. For instance, they almost always start out with huge trust in LE, willing to cooperate fully, certain that if they just do everything someone in a uniform tells them to do, they will get their loved one back. Then, as the weeks and months go by, the family starts to doubt. They start to disagree with LE about what direction to try next. That is when families are most likely to start doing things such as DY's fliers in Roseberg. Some families or family members go through a stage where they express a great deal of anger and frustration with LE.
Going through all this takes up a lot of time and a lot of emotional energy. And after the first month or so, real life starts to intrude. Employers want to be generous... but can't afford to hold a position open forever. The bills have to be paid and the bank, the utilities, etc, can't hold off being paid forever. If there are other children, those other children need even more time and energy than usual because they too are traumatised.
Does this make sense? I think I'm trying to say that there are so many different factors and conditions pulling families in so many conflicting directions, that it usually does take a while, sometimes a long while, before a family may take some decisive action.
