Abaroa's Second Wife Speaks Out

[LTUlegal]

I really worry for Vanessa and her family, now more than ever.

 

[waltzingmatilda]

I really worry for Vanessa and her family, now more than ever.

Me too! But ya know, I think Vanessa is surrounded by Angels. It took great courage for her to speak out. And thank goodness she sought out her parents for support. Speaking from my experience, my mom didn't know for a long time. It's one of those things a mastermanipulator knows how to do. I was alienated from my family.....my friends. It was lonely. I wondered, "How did I end up here?" Sociopaths crush the psyche of their victims. It was only after I 'grew a pair' and started squawking.....calls to 911, domestic violence center, talking to family and neighbors who witnessed the LE at my home, etc. that he backed off. I think it could have helped save my life because he knew that others knew what was going on and his charming facade was crumbling. Once I gained courage of conviction to leave ...and....
left a trail of evidence of the abuse, there was no turning back. He was a well respected broadcaster here in NC and oh did he know how to play others!
I remember my daughter telling me once, "You know Mom, Dad is really nice to you in person, but when he speaks of you to others, it is not favorable!"
This was an eye opener!

I pray for Vanessa and her family's safety. I think her speaking out was the right thing to do and a desparate plea for help. Maybe this interview was a good thing! Sociopaths like Raven and my ex don't like having their halos tarnished and others airing their dirty laundry, especially in front of Mummy, Daddy, their adoring public (in their world) and the church. My ex is a preacher's son, BTW! Just thinking and typing......:blowkiss: Praying for you, Vanessa! You seem like a sweet levelheaded young woman!

 

[BirdHunter]

Be afraid Raven, very afraid. I hear the rest of Vanessa's interview is still to come!

 

[terminatrixator]

NC Wanted airs Saturday nights immediately following the 10p News on FOX 50 and is produced locally in High Definition by FOX 50 (WRAZ-TV).

I am trying to see if I download the Fox 50 player if I can get it live if it works I'll let you know.

If not I am wondering how many days before it gets put online "full-version." It should go through the Fox affiliate stations out in Utah too, because they really need to watch out for Raven. He can't be allowed to scam anymore girls.

I hope people will that know him will stop turning their cheek and ignoring who he is out of self-preservation. Every little bit of information helps.

So many of you in Utah, "Want him in Jail". Do the right thing and start contacting Law Enforcement and explaining his volatile behavior, let them know your fears.

Call Crimestoppers with any little details, it could be done anonymously too.

Call Durham Homicide, CrimeStoppers. For those of you that think there's enough to get him in jail, contact the DA's office.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

OMG how heartbreaking! Thank God she got out when she did.
I pray something breaks in this case soon....for Kaiden's sake. Not only is Raven continuing to terrorize women, the trama that he is exposing Kaiden to must be stopped.
I would think that after this interview that Child Protective services should be hunting him down. No child should have to witness that kind of abuse and be dragged around by his Father in his quest to collect more women to abuse.

It broke my heart to see how devastated Vanessa was when she relayed what Raven said to Kaiden about Mommy not wanting them anymore. I pray that she knows that none of this is her fault and that the kind of guilt that Raven tried to elicit with that despicable statement is typical controlling behavior. I just can't even imagine how helpless she must feel to love that little boy but realize that she can't control what happens to him. Vanessa, getting yourself & your daughter out of there was absolutely necessary. Had you been able to, I'm sure you would have taken Kaiden too. You've done all that you can for Kaiden by going to the authorities and telling them what you've witnessed. Now we can only hope that someone is working on getting him away from Raven as well.

Jax, from your mouth to God's ears ... let's hope that something can be done for Kaiden before Raven can damage him even further.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

Hearing her say that he tried to convince her that she was suicidal or that their crumbled marriage was her fault really did it for me.

Are you talking about Vanessa or Janet here?

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

Terminatrixator, I'm reading your post again and I assume you're talking about Vanessa because you said "hearing her say ..." Is that in the video link that's posted? I watched the video but didn't hear that part, not sure how I missed it. I think that that comment is extremely significant and I'd like to see it in its context.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

I judged Vanessa for what I knew of Raven, not what I knew of Vanessa. I judged harshly and I am so sorry that I compared her to Karen Bolton. I am also sorry that yet another family has been hurt by him.

Several of us, myself included, are guilty of the same. This is cleary one of those circumstances from which we can learn.

Vanessa's recent decision could very well be the turning point in this case. It could end up being the break that's been needed for so, so long. Perhaps others will follow her example and the pieces will all begin to fall into place.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

Wow. I knew it, I knew she was being manipulated by him...I stated so even here. I like to hope that maybe possibly that something someone said here may have helped her realize what a despicable person he is.

Unfortunately, it sounds to me as if she's had plenty of first-hand experience to have learned it all on her own.

 

[SewingDeb]

Terminatrixator, I'm reading your post again and I assume you're talking about Vanessa because you said "hearing her say ..." Is that in the video link that's posted? I watched the video but didn't hear that part, not sure how I missed it. I think that that comment is extremely significant and I'd like to see it in its context.

It's in the NC Wanted article (link: http://www.ncwanted.com/unsolved/story/5130124/ )

People Raven considered to be close friends told Vanessa they are scared of him. He would often try to convince Vanessa that she was suicidal, that her behavior was erratic, that everything was her fault, she recalled.

“He could go back and forth within seconds and he would say the most horrible things and then moments later, act as if nothing had happened,” she said.

 

[terminatrixator]

Terminatrixator, I'm reading your post again and I assume you're talking about Vanessa because you said "hearing her say ..." Is that in the video link that's posted? I watched the video but didn't hear that part, not sure how I missed it. I think that that comment is extremely significant and I'd like to see it in its context.

JG - there's a full length interview that should be out sometime in the next day or two. I put "hearing her say" as opposed to "read her say". I posted where I found that information below with a link.

I am quite hopefully we can see and hear her say it on the full length interview that aired last night in North Carolina and I hope that will be posted shortly on NC Wanted.

I personally heard that Raven was really putting Vanessa down and telling people that Vanessa was suicidal and severely depressed and he started to warn people about Vanessa. IMO he was setting her up for a suicide and she's so lucky that she got away.

More importantly, I believe it's time that all this information gets out in Utah's News and more importantly, I think it's time this information gets put in the National Spotlight. Fox does run America's Most Wanted, and I think it's time that people start putting some pressure on the District Attorney's Office in North Carolina. It's time for Raven to be put behind bars before he kills someone else.


http://www.ncwanted.com/unsolved/story/5130124/

Raven’s “Jekyll and Hyde” personality extended into several aspects of his life – his relationships, his faith, his soccer career, the Ponds said.

People Raven considered to be close friends told Vanessa they are scared of him. He would often try to convince Vanessa that she was suicidal, that her behavior was erratic, that everything was her fault, she recalled.

“He could go back and forth within seconds and he would say the most horrible things and then moments later, act as if nothing had happened,” she said.

And he was controlling. Vanessa said he monitored her computer use, checked her phone, always knew what she was doing and who she was calling.

“It was the same thing that he did to Janet. It was a pattern. I was so scared for Vanessa,” JoDean said.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

IMO he was setting her up for a suicide and she's so lucky that she got away.

This is EXACTLY what I was thinking. And when I think back to Raven telling Janet's parents, after 5 hours of questioning at the police station, that Janet had committed suicide even though he obviously knew that she hadn't, it sent shivers down my spine. Vanessa may truly have gotten out just in the nick of time.

 

[NCBanker]

First, let me say, "Way to go, Vanessa!" I feel strongly that she'll be the lynchpin that brings this case to a close.

I am somewhat surprised, however, that Vanessa didn't google Raven until the time of her bridal shower?!? In this age of immediately accessible information, I wouldn't seriously date anyone without, at a minimum, googling them (did you ever think 10 years ago we'd use the term "googling"?) Perhaps if she had done a search way before they got engaged, she could have more easily backed away from a caustic situation.

Raven was long overdue to be excommunicated from the Church. Had Raven remained in NC, he would have already been due to the embezzling incident; however, he managed to bounce around various areas, as people sometimes do and managed to evade a Church Court until he finally settled down with Vanessa. I'm sure he was ex'ed for a host of reasons and not just for living out of wedlock with Vanessa.

 

[terminatrixator]

NC re: Church Court

How does one go about finding the truth if there was indeed "a Church Court" and if indeed Raven was "excommunicated."?

I have spoken with many people regarding whether or not a member of the church got counsel from or confessed to an elder or Bishop of the church, and I was informed that if a member informed them about committing a crime, any crime, including but not limited to, a heinous crime, such as brutally stabbing your wife, they would deal with the church aspect of it, but it is their duty to report such crime to Law Enforcement and would in turn attempt to make the person turn themselves in. I was further informed on several occasions by LDS Members that have inquired regarding this very subject and again, the were told in no uncertain terms that it would be a duty an obligation to inform Law Enforcement.

For some reason, I can't help believe the "excommunication" story is just a story that perhaps Raven told Vanessa to get her under his thumb, a way of making her feel guilty that because of her he has become "tainted" in some way.

I further believe and am of the opinion that he really did play her as though he was pure and innocent and that she was corrupting him. Also, I thoroughly believe Raven may have actually been a sociopath most of his life.

For that reason, I am very hesitant to believe the excommunication story at all, but if it's true, I would like to know what ward and when this happened and what were the reasons behind the excommunication.

If we go back and look at the Interview Raven goes into great detail on how hard it was to be good enough to be allowed to marry in the Temple in Washington, DC. Also, he seemed to bring up religion so often in that interview, which was conducted two months before meeting Vanessa Pond. He talks about his faith and even insinuates that Janet was the one thinking their faith was an issue between them, as though Raven was the one into his faith and Janet was perhaps not really wanting the LDS religion in their lives.

In the interviews he contradicts himself on several occasions when it comes to his faith.

Again, at one point in the marriage between him and Janet, he had an affair on Janet and he moved out of the marriage home and he LIVED with another woman, so that definitely would not be the sole reason for excommunication.

I would really like to know if there is a way we can find out if Raven was indeed excommunicated and if so, what for.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

I am somewhat surprised, however, that Vanessa didn't google Raven until the time of her bridal shower?!? In this age of immediately accessible information, I wouldn't seriously date anyone without, at a minimum, googling them (did you ever think 10 years ago we'd use the term "googling"?) Perhaps if she had done a search way before they got engaged, she could have more easily backed away from a caustic situation.

I have two thoughts on this. The first is about the act of "googling". Up until Janet's case, it probably would never have occured to me to Google anyone. I don't know how much has changed in the general population over the past four years regarding this type of thing but perhaps people here are more likely to Google because of what we know about Internet resources due to our participation on Web sites such as this one. I'm not surprised that she didn't Google Raven sooner because I don't think that it occurs to certain people.

My second thought is that maybe things unfolded with Vanessa the way that they did because Vanessa was "meant" to happen. Had Raven not married & lived with Vanessa, her story would not be available now. The wonderful news is that she got out safely. But in the process of being involved with Raven, she gained invaluable information about the real Raven that she was able to courageously bring to LE. Time has yet to tell if Vanessa's story might finally tip this case towards an arrest.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

All of my fellow posters, please note my name change. It's still me, JG, but since another Jersey Girl showed up, I had to ask for the change to avoid continued confusion. Just want to make sure there's no confusion when reading my recent posts here.

 

[thefragile7393]

If he wasn't active in the church at that point, would he have been ex-communicated? If he was active, then there's a good chance that he was. If he wasn't, then there, IMO, is where it gets murky as to whether he truely was or wasn't. I too would like to know what the case was.

 

[terminatrixator]

Jersey, it still grates on my nerves every single time I hear him talk about the polygraph. He says something like You don't need a polygraph from me, you may think you do, but you don't need one from me.

How anyone can look at him make that statement and not see the words "I did it" flash across his forehead amazes me.

I believe you are right and things do happen for a reason. I learned a valuable lesson in the short time they were married. I judged based on what I knew of Raven, I can see him for who he is, but it really makes me see how hard it is for people to NOT see the sociopath or the monster he is.

He really is quite the subperb con man.

Drew Peterson is completely icky, but a good sociopath, psychopath looks just like your neighbor and they are proficient at not getting caught. That's why it takes so long to get these guys behind bars.

I still see issues in North Carolina politically though, the former Governor Mike Easley is under investigation as well as the Attorney General, Roy Cooper. With Tracy Cline still trying to take care of backlog and dealing with drama in the DA's office, after having such a close relationship with Nifong, who knows. Is Durham ready for a CE case and does Tracy have enough experience to handle a case such as this and come out victorious when she's up for re-election in less than two years?

No matter what though it's nice to know people aren't giving up hope for Justice for Janet and her unborn child.

 

[NCBanker]

I typed out this long response yesterday and then my pc crashed! I was so mad I couldn't bring myself to retype that long response. Perhaps that was meant to be.

Regarding excommunication, one doesn't have to be an active member to be ex'ed. If certain information comes to light, i.e. through the news, or from another individual, a court can be held. In fact, you can try someone in absentia if they fail to respond or show up.

Unless you're a Church leader, there's really no way to know if someone has been ex'ed. It's not public information. The record actually does disclose why the individual was ex'ed, so if anyone were fortunate enough to have access to it, we'd know specifics...

I agree that while we're more sleuth minded on this site, I actually do know people who have no experience with this (more specifically, fathers of daughters who have just gotten engaged) who conduct background checks on the potential groom. One such friend did indepth background searches on two separate guys and kept his daugter from marrying both. She finally found a good guy, #3, and they're quite happily married.

I've known of instances where people actually asked their Bishop to phone a potential spouse's previous Bishop (had they moved from another area) to inquire about their background. One such individual found that his future wife had been married 3 times prior to him (which she hadn't disclosed) and in actuality was a gold digger just looking for another victim to extract money from.

Whether Raven had married Vanessa or not, the truth will ultimately be revealed, and he'll answer for what he's done. I'm grateful that Vanessa wasn't harmed, but I don't know if I believe it was meant to be - her marrying him (so the truth could come out). The Lord allows us to make mistakes, especially when we don't earnestly seek His guidance and do our due dilligence.

 

[thefragile7393]

Thank you for your post NCBanker, and especially for clarifying the ex-communication cloudiness...that's very valuable information