Again: Where was Casey going for two years?

[sua_sponte]

It doesn't appear that Casey and Caylee spent many nights with (the imaginary) Zanny prior to Caylee's disappearance. She was not a full-time babysitter, just someone who filled in occasionally when Cindy and George were unavailable to watch Caylee. Cindy may very well have asked for her number or to meet her. We don't know. I think the "Zanny has a key" thing is something Casey told Cindy after Caylee disappeared.

I really have to question this opinion people have of Cindy as being controlling. It appears to me that her family walked all over her. :waitasec:

I have a MIL very much like Cindy, so I recognize a lot of her behaviors. To outsiders, she seems like a martyr, a saint, a caregiver - but it's a much different story to those who receive that love and care. I honestly believe that Casey made up her fake life because she had to in order to please her mother who was trying to control her life while still doing what she wanted to do.
The most telling moment for me was when Casey was being interviewed at Universal and the cops figured out that she was more terrified of her mother not forgiving her than lying to police. That is a MAJOR sign of an overbearing mother.
Another sign is Cindy's insistence that Casey never spent the night away from home before Casey went missing when many of the witness interviews tell us otherwise. This tells me that Cindy didn't approve of Casey being away from home at night (otherwise she wouldn't feel the need to lie about it to police). Casey was a 22 year old grown woman with a child. She shouldn't have to worry about whether or not her mom approves of her sleeping arrangements. In order to live her life like she wanted, she had to make up lies.

Some will say that Cindy was only looking out for Caylee, but Cindy was NOT Caylee's mom. She should have let Casey make the decisions about what was right for Caylee and what wasn't. This is controlling.

George had to "sneak" away from Cindy to go talk to the cops. This was controlling.
Casey's teacher described her as a "helicopter" parent. That's controlling.
I could go on and on.

Cindy allowed herself to be taken advantage by KC and GA so that they felt they couldn't get by without her. That was her "trump" card. Co-dependence at its best.

 

[Chilly Willy]

Really?
And you lived at home with them while your children were young and they still didn't know the sitter?

Wow.

No, I didn't live at home. If I had, there would have been even less reason for them to meet the nanny as they'd have seen that my children came home unharmed and happy every day. I was an adult person capable of choosing my own children's babysitters and didn't want nor need my parent's approval of that person. If they had insisted on meeting my sitters, I would have felt they were overstepping their bounds.

 

[Chilly Willy]

I have a MIL very much like Cindy, so I recognize a lot of her behaviors. To outsiders, she seems like a martyr, a saint, a caregiver - but it's a much different story to those who receive that love and care. I honestly believe that Casey made up her fake life because she had to in order to please her mother who was trying to control her life while still doing what she wanted to do.
The most telling moment for me was when Casey was being interviewed at Universal and the cops figured out that she was more terrified of her mother not forgiving her than lying to police. That is a MAJOR sign of an overbearing mother.
Another sign is Cindy's insistence that Casey never spent the night away from home before Casey went missing when many of the witness interviews tell us otherwise. This tells me that Cindy didn't approve of Casey being away from home at night (otherwise she wouldn't feel the need to lie about it to police). Casey was a 22 year old grown woman with a child. She shouldn't have to worry about whether or not her mom approves of her sleeping arrangements. In order to live her life like she wanted, she had to make up lies.

Some will say that Cindy was only looking out for Caylee, but Cindy was NOT Caylee's mom. She should have let Casey make the decisions about what was right for Caylee and what wasn't. This is controlling.

George had to "sneak" away from Cindy to go talk to the cops. This was controlling.
Casey's teacher described her as a "helicopter" parent. That's controlling.
I could go on and on.

Cindy allowed herself to be taken advantage by KC and GA so that they felt they couldn't get by without her. That was her "trump" card. Co-dependence at its best.

Bold mine.

Funny, that's the same reason I feel that there is nothing unusual about Cindy not insisting on meeting the nanny.

 

[BonKai]

No, I didn't live at home. If I had, there would have been even less reason for them to meet the nanny as they'd have seen that my children came home unharmed and happy every day. I was an adult person capable of choosing my own children's babysitters and didn't want nor need my parent's approval of that person. If they had insisted on meeting my sitters, I would have felt they were overstepping their bounds.

Did you live in the same town as your parents?

I'm only asking because when my children were young and needed daycare, my mother was an emergency contact for the day care provider ("babysitter") if my husband or I couldn't be reached. Therefore, my mother had the babysitter's contact information (address/phone) as well. This babysitter also came to my child's birthday parties.

With that being my experience, I do find it odd that Cindy never met the "nanny" or at least had her contact info. Who was KC's emergency contact?

 

[sua_sponte]

Bold mine.

Funny, that's the same reason I feel that there is nothing unusual about Cindy not insisting on meeting the nanny.

And also the reason that I found it odd that she didn't, this was out of character for HER.

This is also why I said in my post that she possibly may have been trying to meet her (like Jeff). That, we don't know, and never will thanks to Cindy's refusal to tell the truth.

If you read through my posts, I am quite fair to Cindy. It seems like you are on a mission here to keep the Cindy-bashing from getting unreasonably out of hand, and I applaud you for that. But sometimes it seems like you are trying to stretch the known facts a little too far to paint her in a more favorable light.
I understand she is a victim too, but understanding her helps us to understand Casey. We don't have to justify or excuse all of her actions just because she was not the actual murderer.

 

[marla]

no, i didn't live at home. If i had, there would have been even less reason for them to meet the nanny as they'd have seen that my children came home unharmed and happy every day. I was an adult person capable of choosing my own children's babysitters and didn't want nor need my parent's approval of that person. If they had insisted on meeting my sitters, i would have felt they were overstepping their bounds.

o .....

 

[~ Amy ~]

If I am going to find my child a nanny , I am going to do a lot of research into the people or persons that apply for the position & I am going to allow my family to be introduced as well. There could be all kinds of reasons where I might need other family members to pick my child up. Another thing I am not just going to take a co-workers opinion on how well of a job the "nanny" does with their child etc. Yeah , it would be a bonus to use a nanny/babysitter that other co-workers use for their children... mainly because you could compare notes on what the children did together and so on. What I can't understand is why none of the A's ever asked KC anything about "zanny" and I am not talking about interrogating KC about "zanny" ..I am just talking about little simple things. If this "nanny" was SO loved by KC (like she said in one of her IM's) then you would think KC or the A's would invite her over for special holidays , maybe treat her to a nice dinner , invite her to Caylees 2nd birthday party, buy her a Christmas gift , heck I buy my daughters teachers a gift at Christmas and she will only have them through the school year. A nanny is an important person in a childs life and they usually have plenty of pictures with the children they watch. I just can't imagine any grandparent not knowing the very person who watched their grandchild. Never any calls to the residence from zanny, didn't know where "ZANNY" lived , didn't know any of "zannys" extended family. It was like the A's were being introduced to "zanny the nanny" the same way all of us were. I still remember watching the jail tapes and the A's were asking KC all those questions of who zannys mom , dad . sisters etc were. The whole time ...I was thinking how could these people not ALREADY HAVE AND KNOW this kind of information. For goodness sake KC lived with them and this so-called nanny watched the baby for quite some time.

 

[Asti]

Okay, when we hear the word nanny, most of us think of someone who has the child on a daily, regular basis. Do we actually know that that was the case. I mean we know that with her friends that is how KC portrayed it but is that how it was portrayed with the family. If "the nanny" only had Caylee on a sort of irregular basis then when the Anthony's wanted a phone number or address I would bet KC came up with some stupid reason why she couldn't give it out. Remember she told the police that the nanny had changed phone numbers many times so she couldn't remember it and it was in her other phone, etc. No doubt CA got those same type of answers and I bet a few tantrums of "I can take care of my own child thank you" when those dumb excuses met with more questions. One the one hand we would like CA to force the truth out of KC and then on the other hand it is she is too domineering when she requires something of KC such as being home to see her child. Also, I really don't believe KC is at all concerned that her mother would never forgive her. That is a sob story she was feeding the police for sympathy.

 

[marla]

Casey had stated that Zanny was sitting for her for about 2 yrs or so ..
No one in that family met or spoke to the sitter in the course of 2 yrs???
AND they all lived in the same house ..

*sigh*

That's odd to say the least ..

 

[LizzieN]

Casey had stated that Zanny was sitting for her for about 2 yrs or so ..
No one in that family met or spoke to the sitter in the course of 2 yrs???
AND they all lived in the same house ..

*sigh*

That's odd to say the least ..

The irresponsibility of this family is beyond ridiculous.

 

[Disguiseduser0308]

I'm on the fence on the A's never having met the phantom-nanny. I agree with a lot that Chilly has said above but the only thing that bothers me is this: KC wasn't living on her own and self sufficient. CA & GA took care of their housing, food, and utilities. Now, if she were on her own I totally agree that KC should have been free to make her own decision regarding her life and child.

Knowing what they know of KC they should have been more aware of what exactly was going on with both KC & Caylee. Considering the circumstances I do believe they should have pushed the nanny issue with her. There had to be something irking them about KC's stories. Most people can spot a liar a mile away. It's been said CA suspected KC didn't have a job, why wouldn't she ask "where are you going?" and "who has Caylee when you're out?" This proves just how much in denial and placating they were to and about KC. Don't ask so not to upset the princess.

I have to be honest, if I had a daughter who I thought had sociopathic tendencies there's no way I would take her word for anything, especially not when there's a small child involved with no possible defense mechanisms. CA did report to a few of KC's friends that she was indeed a sociopath.

The A's weren't walking on egg shells, they were walking on atom bombs which is obvious to me in the way they played the avoiding game.

 

[marla]

The irresponsibility of this family is beyond ridiculous.

It sure is ..

Poor Cayle ..

 

[sua_sponte]

Okay, when we hear the word nanny, most of us think of someone who has the child on a daily, regular basis. Do we actually know that that was the case. I mean we know that with her friends that is how KC portrayed it but is that how it was portrayed with the family. If "the nanny" only had Caylee on a sort of irregular basis then when the Anthony's wanted a phone number or address I would bet KC came up with some stupid reason why she couldn't give it out. Remember she told the police that the nanny had changed phone numbers many times so she couldn't remember it and it was in her other phone, etc. No doubt CA got those same type of answers and I bet a few tantrums of "I can take care of my own child thank you" when those dumb excuses met with more questions. One the one hand we would like CA to force the truth out of KC and then on the other hand it is she is too domineering when she requires something of KC such as being home to see her child. Also, I really don't believe KC is at all concerned that her mother would never forgive her. That is a sob story she was feeding the police for sympathy.

Yes, she was too domineering when the child was at home with her mother. We want her to return to those domineering ways and force the truth out of Casey now that the child has been murdered. I don't think that's an unreasonable expectation. Instead, she reversed course and switched into cover for Casey mode. That is why people are upset with Cindy.

I don't blame Cindy for Caylee's murder at all. I just want to understand the family dynamic so we have even more evidence against Casey and why she may have done it.

 

[Chilly Willy]

Yes, she was too domineering when the child was at home with her mother. We want her to return to those domineering ways and force the truth out of Casey now that the child has been murdered. I don't think that's an unreasonable expectation. Instead, she reversed course and switched into cover for Casey mode. That is why people are upset with Cindy.

I don't blame Cindy for Caylee's murder at all. I just want to understand the family dynamic so we have even more evidence against Casey and why she may have done it.

What is it that makes you feel Cindy was too domineering when Caylee was home with Casey?

 

[Laece]

No, I didn't live at home. If I had, there would have been even less reason for them to meet the nanny as they'd have seen that my children came home unharmed and happy every day. I was an adult person capable of choosing my own children's babysitters and didn't want nor need my parent's approval of that person. If they had insisted on meeting my sitters, I would have felt they were overstepping their bounds.

i could see how this situation may have worked for you. i do, however, think the dynamics of the anthony family are probably different from your own. you clearly are/were responsible for your own children, provided for them, etc. casey was...different than that, and her parents knew this. they were too involved in her business not to question anything, so IMO they closed their eyes to a lot of things.

 

[Wisteria]

Casey had stated that Zanny was sitting for her for about 2 yrs or so ..
No one in that family met or spoke to the sitter in the course of 2 yrs???
AND they all lived in the same house ..

*sigh*

That's odd to say the least ..

I have to agree. Given that Casey would drop off Caylee at Cindy's work, I would think that there should have been a few times in 2 years that Cindy would have needed to pick up Caylee from the sitters. Especially if Casey had to work a double shift. Casey obviously had no problem with crossing the boundaries with Cindy's employment. I do not live in the same town as my parents, but my sister livwes near me. We are each other's emergency contacts at Moms Day Out and such. Many times we have picked up each others children in a pinch.

It is my feeling that Cindy did not really know about Zanny and is now fibbing a bit to cover for Casey.

 

[sua_sponte]

What is it that makes you feel Cindy was too domineering when Caylee was home with Casey?

I used the word domineering because it was in the post I quoted. I would have used "controlling" otherwise. My previous post shows examples of why I think she was too controlling, as well as my life experience with a MIL just like her. I too have found myself making up lies just to avoid a fight about the proper care of my child. Of course my lies were were simple like, "yes, I let my baby cry it out" when my MIL insisted that that was the ONLY way to properly teach a baby to sleep through the night. To appease her, I lied about it rather than fight. I can see how Casey probably started with small lies, and then they snowballed and got completely out of hand to the point she was living a whole other life.

Also, I don't think Cindy really cared as much about what Casey was actually doing as she cared about making sure Casey thought she was doing the wrong thing. That's why I think Cindy suspected the lies all along, but let them go. It gave her something to brag about to others, but also let Casey think she had to lie to really live that life and would be forever dependant on Cindy. So her controlling behavior wasn't rooted in the actual need to control, it was rooted in co-dependence.

Of course, this whole paragraph is my opinion based on the facts we have been given and my personal history with this type of person.

By the way, I wasn't going to share this because it is so personal. But to help illustrate my point, I will. When my MIL was being so overbearing(and I lived with her at the time), my relationship with my child suffered. I started to slightly resent him because he was such a source of stress in my life (we also had the jealousy and fighting for control issues). Of course I didn't realize that it was the MIL's fault until I moved out and stopped speaking to her. My relationship with my son miraculously improved. I think this could be part of what happened with KC and Caylee too, but she never got to figure it out.

 

[robotdog]

because of the fact that CA is a control freak and the fact that kc and Caylee lived in the same house, it is incredulous that the grandaprents never answered a phone call or saw the "nanny" drive in the neighborhood to either pick up or drop off Caylee or was ever invited over for a birthday party or a barbeque or something for goodness sakes

look, here is the deal

they knew she had no job
they knew there was no nanny
they knew she was stealing from people

and for whatever reason they felt they could just let things like this slide


SICKENING


:furious:

 

[IRule254]

No, I didn't live at home. If I had, there would have been even less reason for them to meet the nanny as they'd have seen that my children came home unharmed and happy every day. I was an adult person capable of choosing my own children's babysitters and didn't want nor need my parent's approval of that person. If they had insisted on meeting my sitters, I would have felt they were overstepping their bounds.

I have a serious question for you- Did the Nanny have a phone number for your parents or vice versa in case of an emergency? I always thought it was WAY weird , not that Cindy didn't meet Zanny, but that she never even asked what her phone # , address, or even a general location was in case of an emergency. (especially coming form a woman who seemed more like a mom than a Grandma)

 

[IRule254]

because of the fact that CA is a control freak and the fact that kc and Caylee lived in the same house, it is incredulous that the grandaprents never answered a phone call or saw the "nanny" drive in the neighborhood to either pick up or drop off Caylee or was ever invited over for a birthday party or a barbeque or something for goodness sakes

look, here is the deal

they knew she had no job
they knew there was no nanny
they knew she was stealing from people

and for whatever reason they felt they could just let things like this slide


SICKENING


:furious:

Ah! I never thought of that , but you are right, seemed like a long term Nanny would have been invited to the B-day party.