I agree with all of you. She's obviously still in denial. However, I think this is a wayyy more nuanced and complex issue.
It's hard for us as humans, period, to understand that some people have multiple sides and facets. Specifically, with psychopaths, who are often soooo good at manipulating people. For example, I think as a society we're STILL coming to terms with Ted Bundy (and the reason why it took soooo long for him to be brought to justice) simply because he presented one way - polite, charming, handsome - but had an evil monster lurking inside.
This must be MUCH WORSE for partners/wives of psychopaths. BSS was clearly using Stephanie. He married her for a visa, and she was his "cover" so he could present as a nice normal middle-class husband. He's been manipulating her for years, showing her one side of himself and hiding the monster. Men like him also target a specific type of woman, someone who is usually quite vulnerable, maybe insecure and craving love and attention. I can imagine that if, all of a sudden, an attentive and romantic foreigner sweeps you off your feet when you need it the most, it would be very very hard to accept that he's been off murdering people in his spare time. It would probably take years of therapy to come to terms with that, because it means that you also have to come to terms with the fact that your ability to trust another human being is irrevocably destroyed.
BSS committed these acts of violence, not Stephanie. It's definitely offputting and odious to think she hasn't rejected him yet (knowing what she now knows), but I think we can also have a bit of compassion and understanding that she likely has a longgg road ahead in getting to a place psychologically where she can do that. At least she is seeing a therapist and doing the work to get there. Sorry for the rant, I hope that makes sense.
It's hard for us as humans, period, to understand that some people have multiple sides and facets. Specifically, with psychopaths, who are often soooo good at manipulating people. For example, I think as a society we're STILL coming to terms with Ted Bundy (and the reason why it took soooo long for him to be brought to justice) simply because he presented one way - polite, charming, handsome - but had an evil monster lurking inside.
This must be MUCH WORSE for partners/wives of psychopaths. BSS was clearly using Stephanie. He married her for a visa, and she was his "cover" so he could present as a nice normal middle-class husband. He's been manipulating her for years, showing her one side of himself and hiding the monster. Men like him also target a specific type of woman, someone who is usually quite vulnerable, maybe insecure and craving love and attention. I can imagine that if, all of a sudden, an attentive and romantic foreigner sweeps you off your feet when you need it the most, it would be very very hard to accept that he's been off murdering people in his spare time. It would probably take years of therapy to come to terms with that, because it means that you also have to come to terms with the fact that your ability to trust another human being is irrevocably destroyed.
BSS committed these acts of violence, not Stephanie. It's definitely offputting and odious to think she hasn't rejected him yet (knowing what she now knows), but I think we can also have a bit of compassion and understanding that she likely has a longgg road ahead in getting to a place psychologically where she can do that. At least she is seeing a therapist and doing the work to get there. Sorry for the rant, I hope that makes sense.
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Sorry!