AZ - Mesa teacher punished kindergartner by taking her top off

[Karmady]

I personally have never known a male kindergarten teacher, but our school district has lots of male 5th grade teachers and they're fabulous.

I just don't think it's really within the skill set/brain make-up of most men to be able to deal with kindergartners day in and day out. The necessary flexibility that requires is usually found more in women than men.

My son had a male kindergarten teacher who is his favorite teacher of all time so far.

 

[aries416]

I was a kindergarten teacher and men in this role are rare. I student taught in first grade with a male. He was great! He had such a wonderful rapport with the students. The district I am in has some male teachers in lower grades.

Honestly, when I was in school, men were all but outwardly discouraged from being teachers to younger kids. I graduated college in 2006, so not that long ago. Men in my classes were warned to never, ever touch a child and if a young student wants to hug, the teacher is supposed to lift his arms up and and spin away.

The general attitude is that that men=fear of molestation and a lot of men do not want to risk any misconstrued behavior. My professors never came out and said, "Do not teach K-3," but they hinted very strongly at it. I think it's pretty sad, actually.

All of that is totally separate from male vs. female skill set, of course!

 

[Hejlena]

This is giving me a twitch. While I cannot predict sexual deviancy as a motive for what this person did, motive or not what he did was sexually shame her.

He should have his license revoked. And foster care?? Never.

I also want to know what role the teacher's aide that was in the classroom played. Did the aide try to stop him? Did s/he seek help? Tell anyone in the building?

 

[Wolfie]

All of that is totally separate from male vs. female skill set, of course!

I'm actually shocked at the sexism on this thread. It is part of the reason that our society doesn't trust men around children. It's not a good thing, and sex has nothing to do with whether or not somebody is good at teaching younger classes- a women can be just as bad or good at it as a man. But it is true that our society discourages men from teaching little ones.

There is something really wrong with this incident- but I don't think it's because the teacher was male.

 

[Wolfie]

I also want to know what role the teacher's aide that was in the classroom played. Did the aide try to stop him? Did s/he seek help? Tell anyone in the building?

Was there an aide in the classroom? I missed that in the article if there was. Many schools no longer have aides in classrooms. (the only time I've had aides is when there are special ed students mainstreamed in the classes) Edited to add- I reread. It does say there was an aide, but not if she was there full time or not. She may have reported it, we can't hear the school's side, only the parents because of privacy laws.

This quote bothers me:

"Total humiliation," said Daniel Mercado, who has children who attend Adams Elementary. "What is she going to do now - from first grade on? What are the parents going to think of this? Not only her parents but other parents, other parents at the school like myself? I think he went too far. He went way too far."

Why should the parents think anything of the child? She didn't do anything?

 

[Hejlena]

I'm actually shocked at the sexism on this thread. It is part of the reason that our society doesn't trust men around children. It's not a good thing, and sex has nothing to do with whether or not somebody is good at teaching younger classes- a women can be just as bad or good at it as a man. But it is true that our society discourages men from teaching little ones.

There is something really wrong with this incident- but I don't think it's because the teacher was male.

This is an important statement. Thank you.

 

[aries416]

I'm actually shocked at the sexism on this thread. It is part of the reason that our society doesn't trust men around children. It's not a good thing, and sex has nothing to do with whether or not somebody is good at teaching younger classes- a women can be just as bad or good at it as a man. But it is true that our society discourages men from teaching little ones.

There is something really wrong with this incident- but I don't think it's because the teacher was male.

I agree. I was actually being sarcastic with that comment, but that's hard to convey. I apologize.

I've never cared about the gender of my children's teachers. The best swim coach my daughter, at 3, EVER had was a teenage boy. He was so sweet to the kids and showed much more patience and understanding than the female teachers. I think teaching ability is entirely individual and has nothing to do with gender.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

I don't trust men around my kids that I don't know. I don't trust women I don't know either so I am an equal opportunity exclusionary..

But what he did is way way over the line. And it was abuse and assault. It becomes sexual in nature when he removed her clothing and made her naked in front of the class. Exposing her he violated her.

He shamed her. He made her feel small and violated. He emotionally stole something from her that she can not get back.

He is a disgusting human. I don't care what his motive or reason. I think what came out was his true nature. I think he is scary and dangerous.

 

[JeannaT]

I'm actually shocked at the sexism on this thread. It is part of the reason that our society doesn't trust men around children. It's not a good thing, and sex has nothing to do with whether or not somebody is good at teaching younger classes- a women can be just as bad or good at it as a man. But it is true that our society discourages men from teaching little ones.

There is something really wrong with this incident- but I don't think it's because the teacher was male.

The reason our society doesn't trust men around children is we have lots of experience and evidence that it's often problematic. As a whole, men don't choose to spend lots of their time around children who aren't their own children. Men will choose, for example, to coach kids teams or help out with Boy Scouts if their sons and daughters are involved, and that is totally normal and works out great.

Fewer men choose to be around small children they aren't related to. I'm sure there are some who are FABULOUS, but there are lots who have alternative reasons for wanting to be around children, and others who are forced to be around children they didn't parent and end up harming them out of frustration.

Men and women aren't identical, we're different. We have things that in general, one gender is better at than the other gender, and can be predicted to do better. There aren't many women who can pass the fireman's fitness test, and there aren't many men who choose to be around small children all day long and do well at it.

 

[Wolfie]

The reason our society doesn't trust men around children is we have lots of experience and evidence that it's often problematic.

Please check the statistics.

Of the reports, 45.2% of the perpetrators were male and 53.6% were female.

http://www.safehorizon.org/index/wh...est-55/child-abuse-statistics--facts-304.html

Men and women aren't identical, we're different. We have things that in general, one gender is better at than the other gender, and can be predicted to do better. There aren't many women who can pass the fireman's fitness test, and there aren't many men who choose to be around small children all day long and do well at it.

More stereotyping. A lot of this is society's expectations, not that one sex is better at it than the other.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

Please check the statistics.

http://www.safehorizon.org/index/wh...est-55/child-abuse-statistics--facts-304.html


More stereotyping. A lot of this is society's expectations, not that one sex is better at it than the other.

This is about child abuse. Not sexual abuse.

"Nearly all the offenders in sexual assaults reported to law enforcement were male (96%)."




" Males are reported to be the abusers in 80-95% of cases
-Thoringer, D., et al., 1988"

http://yellodyno.com/Statistics/statistics_child_molester.html


When I look at my local Megans law directory 99% are men. Not women.

 

[Wolfie]

This is about child abuse. Not sexual abuse.

I didn't know that sexual abuse was the only abuse that mattered.

One issue with female perpatrated sexual abuse is that it's not often reported or believed. We've seen some cases where it was only caught because the woman was abusing teens who got her pregnant.

But I don't think that because men are more predominant in one type of abuse, means that we single out men with suspicion before proven otherwise.

This case was a control issue though, not sexual abuse. It has sexual overtones because women tend to keep that part of their body covered in our culture, but the motive doesn't appear to be sexual, but control.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

I didn't know that sexual abuse was the only abuse that mattered.

One issue with female perpatrated sexual abuse is that it's not often reported or believed. We've seen some cases where it was only caught because the woman was abusing teens who got her pregnant.

But I don't think that because men are more predominant in one type of abuse, means that we single out men with suspicion before proven otherwise.

This case was a control issue though, not sexual abuse. It has sexual overtones because women tend to keep that part of their body covered in our culture, but the motive doesn't appear to be sexual, but control.

It is what we are talking about here. Disrobing a child in public crosses the line.
Here we are talking about the facts of this case and it is a man.
FYI, Rape ,sexual abuse are all about power and control.

 

[gitana1]

http://www.kpho.com/story/24475228/...-from-waist-up-in-packed-classroom?hpt=ju_bn3

This guy is a BULLY with a capital B.

He has NO BUSINESS being a teacher.

He SHOULD NOT be a foster parent.

He SHOULD NOT be an adoptive parent.

This guy gives me the creeps. In his 50's and wants to be a single dad? Now? In his 50's?

Perhaps I am stereotyping and being sexist, but what I have seen indicates that single men in their 40's and 50's who want to foster and adopt can be pedophiles.

Yes, I'm sure there may be some who are great and just want the chance to be a dad. I think that's rare though, without having a partner of some kind. I've read too many stories about single middle aged men adopting or fostering kids unrelated to them who are later discovered to have horribly abused them.

Combined with what the man did here? Creeeeepy.

I personally have never known a male kindergarten teacher, but our school district has lots of male 5th grade teachers and they're fabulous.

I just don't think it's really within the skill set/brain make-up of most men to be able to deal with kindergartners day in and day out. The necessary flexibility that requires is usually found more in women than men.

Well I know that's just totally untrue. I worked in preschools and day cares for years. There were several young men who cared for the little ones that I met. They were fun, energetic, caring, compassionate. A bit different in their approach than the ladies but very capable of caring empathetically and patiently for little ones.

One of my uncles is a professional flamenco guitarist. His wife was a teacher. When my cousins were little, my uncle was the one who was with them all day because he played at night. Since they were infants. He is by far more nurturing, softer and more cuddly than my aunt. She's more stern and no nonsense. He's funny and sensitive with kids. Many, many fathers are. Things are changing as more women work and fathers are sharing the raising of kids or becoming primary caregivers.

I admit to some biases myself - like about middle aged single men wanting to become single dads to unrelated kids. It makes me nervous. But to say that men in general can't handle a bunch of kindergartners? Totally false.

And in my experience, the little ones LOVED the male teachers and daycare workers. Just swarmed them like a pack of puppies. Adorable!!