Bullied 10-year old commits suicide (another one)

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The youngest of my 5 children currently goes to a middle school where uniforms are mandatory. IMO, it's a wonderful idea. It's a great equalizer. But the best thing we've experienced for getting to the root of the bullying problem is Rachel's Challenge. The organization came to my children's school in WY and it had a very lasting effect-even 4 years later, the kids still talk about it, and more importantly, implement the things they learned. It was a life-changing experience for all of us.
http://www.rachelschallenge.org/


Our Mission

Rachel's Challenge Mission
rc We exist to inspire, equip and empower every person to create a permanent positive culture change in their school, business and community by starting a chain reaction of kindness and compassion.

Rachel's Challenge Objectives for Schools:

Create a safe learning environment for all students by re-establishing civility and delivering proactive antidotes to school violence and bullying.
Improve academic achievement by engaging students' hearts, heads and hands in the learning process.
Provide students with social/emotional education that is both colorblind and culturally relevant.
Train adults to inspire, equip and empower students to affect permanent positive change.
SBM
 
I don't want to minimize any of this -- I have an 11 year old who is currently being bullied in school, and the topic scares the heck out of me -- but I think it's important to remember that until recently this topic was totally taboo. Even ten years ago, if a child committed suicide for any reason it wouldn't even have made the local papers, let alone national news.

I remember a neighbor child who was found hanging dead in his closet about 30 years ago. The rumors were that the parents did something, or if not that, then it was an accident. I doubt it was recorded anywhere as a suicide, and the very idea seemed totally implausible. But if it happened today, there'd be investigators and all sorts of questions that we never asked.

My point being: we hear about child suicides a lot now, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're increasing. When I was a kid, suicides were almost *never* reported as such officially. And even in rumor, people often tended to think any kind of death that happened to a person who was alone was an accident of some kind. And with kids, it was ALWAYS a game gone wrong somehow -- and suggesting otherwise was a huge insult to the family.

That said, the internet is NO PLACE for children to be wandering alone. I wish Facebook would crack down on children getting accounts or at least find a way to punish people who use it to harass others.

My heart breaks for this poor child. :(
 
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikkFq3h2NiA&feature=player_embedded"]Bullying Presentation EDUC1301 - YouTube[/ame]
 
I really don't get this. Children were tortured to death in the Jewish Concentration camps in Germany, and children in Africa routinely die of starvation but none of them kill themselves.

Why do American children kill themselves if others tease them? I was in school in the 1970's, and kids were tormented endlessly and they didn't commit suicide.

Remember the Little Rock 9, 9 black students who went to a white school in Little Rock Arkansas and they were literally tortured. They didn't kill themselves.

Now, when a child kills themself, they go back and think maybe there were incidents of bullying perhaps. What in the world is going on? ?? WHY are these children in fairly comfortable conditions killing themselves because their clothes or shoes are made fun of? What are we doing here in the US that makes these kids so unable to withstand any difficulty whatsoever?

You do hear of children who are raised in families where they are tormented, and they don't do this. Why when a child commits suicide, do we have to go back and say well maybe this was what caused it, their clothes were criticized.
 
Hi all i'm not sure if this is the right place but a 12 year old girl was found hanged over the weekend in England, she was found by her parents. She killed her self because she was bullied, she was bullied because she was pretty.

I recently asked a question on my Facebook account that goes as follows " should bullies be guilty of involuntary manslaughter if the cause the person they bully to take there own life" the response was yes. What do you guys think and would it do any good trying to change the law? Thanks in advance for your replys.
 
When my youngest son was in elementary school, he was bullied to the point where he had a mental breakdown and had to go to day treatment at a psychiatric center instead of school for about a month. He made the sad comment that the kids in day treatment were the first kids who had ever been kind to him. He got his education at day treatment so he didn't fall behind in school, and eventually returned to his classroom. His teacher knew he was being bullied but she said she had no idea how bad it was. She talked to her class about bullying and said that being bullied was the cause of our son needing to escape to day treatment to get away from the stress. She had all the kids make handmade cards for our son saying they were sorry that he was going through a rough time and saying they hoped he could return to school soon. The cards were delivered to him. When our son returned to school, the kids were a lot nicer to him, although not all bullying stopped. When he got to middle school, another student shoved him in the hall, planning to knock his books out of his arms. Our son fell as a result of the shove and his leg twisted, breaking off a piece of bone in his leg. He had to have surgery to remove the broken piece of bone. He didn't see who shoved him and none of the other students would tell on the person. Also, in middle school, in gym class, another boy hit our son really hard on the back with a shoe. Our son had a red shoe print on his back for several days. I complained to the school and the police but neither did much about it. Eventually our son, in high school, transferred to alternative ed school where the classes were smaller and much more emphasis was put on the emotional needs of students. It was a kinder atmosphere. Luckily, the youth pastor and the teens at church were more supportive towards our son.
 
I really don't get this. Children were tortured to death in the Jewish Concentration camps in Germany, and children in Africa routinely die of starvation but none of them kill themselves.

I think you have a certain fundamental misunderstanding regarding the epidemiology of suicide. The fact is that, in most of the world anyway, suicide was and is an incredibly stigmatized action. If suicide by adults is often considered disgraceful, can you imagine the stigmatization that goes on when children commit suicide? For the families involved, a child's suicide is often seen as an extreme example of parental failure. To save families as many problems as possible, a majority of child suicides were almost certainly written off as accidents or deaths by unknown cause.

Regarding your specific examples, Jews during the Holocaust and starving children in the poorest African nations don't generally have statistics regarding deaths by suicide. Because of that, it's impossible to say precisely how many individuals chose to take their own lives; however, I'd venture to guess that it must have been more than "none". Referring to the Holocaust in particular, there are stories of people, unable to tolerate the hells that were occurring, running toward the fences in concentration camps. Their goal, of course, was to be shot and killed by Nazis who had little tolerance for attempted escapees. If not shot, the fences themselves were often electrified and capable of being used to commit suicide. Certainly some of those suicides must have been young persons.

[Side note: Concentration camp suicides have been studied to some extent, and details related particularly to Auschwitz - Birkenau are available in this 1986 research.

While solid statistics for your specific examples don't exist, we do have statistics from one nation that has historically been more fair to suicides than most other countries. Japan has been reporting a large seeming, but honestly fairly stable, rate of suicides since at least 1950. In 2009, it reported a suicide rate amongst five to fourteen year olds of 1 per 200,000. Extrapolating from that data, the 1950 rate would have been approximately 1 in 250,000. Child suicide has always happened, but it has only just become okay to talk about it.

Now, when a child kills themself, they go back and think maybe there were incidents of bullying perhaps. What in the world is going on? ?? WHY are these children in fairly comfortable conditions killing themselves because their clothes or shoes are made fun of?

You have a point. I believe that, in of itself, bullying does not cause any significant amount of suicides. The problem is that bullying compounds other issues. A child whose only problem is being bulled at school will probably not attempt suicide; but a child who is bullied at school and suffers from depression, or is being abused, or feels unloved at home and/or church, etc. is a lot more likely to hurt themselves.

Using myself as an example, I'll tell you a brief story that I haven't posted here before. Fourteen months ago, [ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showpost.php?p=5652808&postcount=83"]I posted about the bullying that occurred while I was in school.[/ame] What I didn't post was that my home experience wasn't much different, and I had an abusive older relative. I'm also a lesbian and I attended a church that was strongly hateful of such. (I'm NOT bashing religion here. At the time, I had no idea that some churches were so welcoming!) The majority of my family wasn't exactly happy about it either.

I began self-injuring (cutting myself), and I even attempted suicide when I was twelve years old. Yes, it was via hanging. What saved me? I'm terrible at tying knots. That sounds like a bad joke, but I assure you it isn't. I literally could not adequately tie a knot. Eventually I received psychological help. I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and I was helped come to terms with things that I wasn't at fault for.

The point of the story is this: I wouldn't have attempted suicide if just one or two things were different. If my school life had been better . . . If my home life had been better . . . If I'd been in a more accepting church . . . If I hadn't suffered from depression . . . Bullying won't take you to the cliff, but it can sure throw you off of it.

I also think it's worth mentioning that issues with bullying are more unavoidable today than they were just ten years ago. I'm in my mid-twenties, so I've had the experience of being in school on both sides of that ten year line. What's made bullying more unavoidable? The spread of technology.

When I first began school, I knew almost no one who had access to a computer. Of those who did, none of them had access to the Internet. Around 1996, the period wherein America Online started offering access for $19.95 a month, more and more of those people with computers found themselves on the Internet. The ICQ instant messenger program was released later in 1996, and AOL Instant Messenger was released in 1997. It suddenly became possible for children to contact each other outside of school, without using anything that would alert parents as to what was going on.

That still wasn't a huge problem. Most children obviously wouldn't give out their screen names to bullies at their schools, and a lot of them still didn't even have computers in the first place. All of this changed in the early 2000s. Computer prices had gone way down, broadband Internet services had become readily available to most of North America, cell phones were becoming extremely popular, and social networking sites were rapidly popping into existence. Friendster showed up in 2002, MySpace in 2003, and this was followed by Facebook's debut in 2004. If bullies didn't know their target's screen names, that was no longer a problem. They could just look them up by name, and the odds were favorable that their victims would have an account on at least one social networking site.

Worse for bullied children, the Internet was rapidly spreading to devices that weren't computers. Portable phones, video gaming systems, e-readers, and the like were all able to connect to the Internet. Most bullied children today can now be accessed 24/7. When I first began school, going home meant that I no longer had to deal with bullies. The weekends and summer vacation meant that I didn't have to deal with my bullies for a good long while. When I left school, going home meant that the bullies would be right there waiting for me.

Apologies for being long-winded, but I thought this deserved an in depth post.
 

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