:maddening: My ten year old grandson has a mild form of autism. He is an honor student and was lately voted most valuable player on a basketball team. A church sponsored the teams and worked with children of all kinds. My grandson's biggest hurdle was to learn that it was ok to take the ball from the opposing team mates. He loves people and is very witty and loved by many. My daughter called me first thing this morning, crying, upset that as soon as she came home from working a double shift late last night she learned that for the fifth time in the past year a pack of four boys have attacked my grandson and beat him. This occurred at an afterschool program at the Boys and Girls Brigade. The administrator always gives the song and dance that they do not tolerate "bullying" and will check into the incident. The only actions I have seen thus far is that the aggressive attackers are suspended for a short time and the victim is also suspended for a short time. I will never forget reading the very first report made when my grandson was suspended for three days. Actual wording: After J was knocked to the ground and several boys kicked him three times in the stomach and multiple times in the face, J struck back and hit one of the boys. Because J (my grandson) finally defended himself, he was punished equally with the bullies. My daughter would not let me get involved at that time. She met with the administrator and heard the same ole song and dance line that they would not tolerate bullying. That was four bullying incidents ago. Well, this time my daughter has asked me to meet her at the facility at 3:00 pm today to talk with the administrator again. I'm trying very hard to control my temper at this time and it is going to be very difficult to wait for my daughter to get off of work and to meet at 3:00 pm. I have zero tolerance for bullying. Add that stance to the fact that I have zero tolerance for anyone bulling my very own grandson. I would appreciate any suggestions or recommendations for how I should approach this situation.:maddening::maddening::maddening:
How terribly sad Lonetraveler!!!! Wish I could hug your precious grandbaby. As for what to do, i wish I were of more help. Maybe you could try a few different tactics.
Record the date, time, and person spoken to. Is the Boys and Girls Brigade directly related to the school? If so, make sure there is a rep from the school in the meeting. Are there professionals there with experience working with Autistic children? Also, try to record specific things done to your grandson. Get specific with names, dates, times, adults in the vicinity. It angers me that no teachers seem to be helping J.
Does the school district have parent liasons? If so, make sure they are invloved in every single aspect from now on. If not, perhaps you could ask around if there any other students getting bullied, and attempt to involve their parents as well. You would be surprised how many teachers would go off the record and suggest others that are getting the same treatments. Strength in numbers.
There is always someone higher up in the chain, so if you get no results, go up the chain. Make sure to have everything recorded for reference.
Not sure of the rules in your district, but would they allow a parent to attend class with the student? It sounds like your daughter works long hours, so I dont know how realistic that option is. Bullies scurry when faced with authority. But, then again, it may just start back up once the parent stops attending.
Perhaps try to discuss this in a meeting with the bullys' parents'. Once you get the names, you could ask the administration to arrange a sit down. But often times, it seems, bullies do not seem to have the most stable home lives. If all else fails, call the local newspaper. They may be able to do a story or investigate more to expose the lack of a positive outcome that the school admin is displaying.
Lastly, hug your grandbaby as often as you can, and his Mother. Make sure they know you are ALWAYS on their side. Good luck today!