eileenhawkeye
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Or maybe they want to reconsider exactly what they are going to say because they know it's going to be picked apart and scrutinized by the public and the media?
Or maybe they went to visit him and he confessed to them?
An accused killer son, as you say.I feel so bad for the parents. A murdered baby girl, a killer son, shunned by the community. They need support & compassion. I can't even imagine a worse nightmare.
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In a previous community I lived in there was a death of a three year old beautiful little girl. She died while being watched by her 14 (if I remember correctly) step uncle who had been suspended from school. (I think it was for bomb threat and fighting, although it's been awhile so not positive) His (the fourteen year olds) mom worked at a place where many of my friends work and supposedly got a call shortly before this child died saying the baby wouldn't quit crying. A very short time later she got another call saying the baby wasn't breathing. The fourteen year old was being punished and made to watch this baby while he was suspended from school. He and his half brother (the baby's step dad), along with the half sister was pretty much a mess due to, IMO, the life their mother led. The teenagers mom who had been married 5 times and was in mid forties. The prosecutor in that case said they weren't going to press charges on the fourteen year old because he had his whole life in front of him as punishment as he had to live with it. The three year olds mom, though, did receive some kind of child charges for leaving her infant in his care. Outrageous and just to show you that not all people actually have the ability to do the right thing by their child.It seems very unlikely that the parents would leave the 12 year old at home in charge of the 8 year old if they didn't think he was responsible. It leads me to think that he wasn't showing any concerning behavioral problems, etc.
When someone donates money in a situation like this, or really any situation, it's best to remember that if you care what the money is actually used for then you should figure out a way to donate only to that specific thing for them, otherwise it's all fair game. Not saying it is going to happen in this family but I've watched on three different instances in my life where I saw up close and personal what happens with money left over from donations. Usually funerals are donated in situations like this, of course they will still need money for headstone, plot, etc.From what I've read, people donated thinking the money would go to the other children, or to help with funeral costs for Leila. I would want my money back, if I felt it was going to be used with something I disagree with. You see, people want to know their money is being used for the other children, or for her burial. I see nothing wrong with objecting to their money being used otherwise. I don't think it's tacky. I think what is tacky, is taking money donated for the welfare of the innocent children, and using it for the implicated child. (I'm not syaing they would do that, but I understand the fear and objection.)
If they truly believe he murdered her, why on earth would they want their money used to possibly defend him?
Totally agree and to me it showed the dynamic that all of these children must have lived with on a daily basis.I never know either and I really wish the media would be more respectful in that sense. Priscilla is the grieving mother and she should be recognized as such without confusion. To be honest, the fact that the stepmom hosted a discussion of Priscilla on her FB page really changed my view of her and the father. I imagine that I'm not alone in feeling that way and that could also have something to do with the current regrets about donating.
Calaveras County Sheriff's Office
Fowler family press conference cancelled
The Fowler family has cancelled it's request to provide a prepared statement to the media tomorrow, May 14th at 3:30 pm at the press conference that they requested.
https://local.nixle.com/calaveras-county-sheriffs-office/
It must truly be awful for them. One thing though is he says they are standing behind him until they hear evidence. Then that would be a different story? Then what? Completely abandon him?
Personally, I cannot imagine anything like this ever happening to my family, but as a parent I love my children unconditionally. I could never truly abandon any of my children no matter what they may do. Honestly-I just couldn't. I imagine nothing could be worse than this-how do you forgive? And perhaps one can't. But I firmly believe that I would do whatever possible to let my child know that I was there for them no matter what.
Now, I wouldn't go as far as to try to hide evidence, or make excuses for what they had done or even help them avoid punishment. But I would still love them and be there for them. There to comfort them and to do everything I possibly could to help to heal their soul-to help them find God. While thier punishment on earth may be deserved and justified, I would want to do everything I could to help them to change, find God, seek forgiveness, and have a chance at eternal redemption.
This is my problem with the death penalty. I truly believe there is a Heaven and that God will forgive anyone for anything if they TRULY are sorry, even if it is with their dying breath. I do not think it is right to take that ability away from someone. Eternity is a very long time. Eternal love and forgiveness, or eternal damnation is a pretty big difference. I would hate to think I took that choice away from anyone.
I am not a bleeding heart liberal by any means when I say this, and realize other people have different opinions than mine and I respect that. I am just stating my personal feelings and beliefs and that no matter what they have done, children, even those that kill, deserve to have some adult standing by them trying to at the very least to save their soul.
People who believe in the system wouldn't likely object to the family using their money for a legal defense. The money is given to help the family. Certainly the family is served by a full and fair defense for whomever the defendant may be. Since it's their son, it seems particularly important that the trial, verdict, sentencing be based on the best circumstances possible.
I know this is idealistic, but isn't that how it's supposed to work?
So does that mean that the police sat down with them and explained the evidence?
I'm so confused.
But if they killed someone I loved with all of my heart, unless it TRULY was self-defense, I could not blindly, unconditionally support them.
And I love both my kids more than anything else in the entire world. I would die for them. But I guess it is not entirely unconditional. :heartbeat:
Sentencing someone to death in our justice system, does not prevent one from getting into heaven. heaven is between a person and God. The justice system can't send someone to heaven or hell. We are only humans, and we don't have to power to send someone anywhere after death on earth.
I don't believe they are thinking of abandoning their child. Loving and forgiving someone, does not mean they have to sit behind them at a trial and support their innocence. Remember, they are also seeking justice for their slain daughter. If they truly believe their son is guilty of this crime, they should not have to be obligated...even as parents...to support innocence where there is none. A parent can both love a child and make that known, and not support their fight for innocence.
Obviously, just my opinion.
I don't believe parenting calls for unconditional "support". It does call for unconditional love. You can still love your child and visit on Sundays or whenever he can have visits.
If I had donated, it would only be for Leila's funeral expenses, clothing for the family to attend. NOT to defend a murderer. If the public isn't given a choice on whether or not their donation is spent on a defense for their son, they have a right to be upset and want their money back.
Regarding whether he gets a "full and fair" defense? I couldn't care less. I don't care why, I don't care what's wrong with him.
I don't think I'm out of the ordinary in feeling that way either.
I don't know that I could stand by my son if he stabbed my daughter to death in cold blood. I just don't know if I could. I would be too grief stricken, too betrayed, to support him in any way. JMO
If one of my kids robbed a bank or got busted dealing drugs, I would be there for them unconditionally and try to help them through. But if they killed someone I loved with all of my heart, unless it TRULY was self-defense, I could not blindly, unconditionally support them.
And I love both my kids more than anything else in the entire world. I would die for them. But I guess it is not entirely unconditional. :heartbeat:
That's sure easy for outsiders to do now that an 8 year old girl is dead.
I doubt it's that easy from a parent's perspective. They lived with him.
It's near impossible for parents to convince anyone a kid is dangerous BEFORE they hurt or kill. :twocents:
They fight for help and are told nothing can be done if they haven't hurt anyone (self injury doesn't count.)
THEN when they DO hurt or kill someone? It's the parents fault for not preventing it. :facepalm:
Sorry-I should have clarified better-my point is that if you put someone to death, who is to say that 5 years later they may have found God, felt tremendous remourse for their sins and sought God's forgiveness. But they weren't ready for that before that time. That is what I meant. Just that everyone should get the chance to die in their "natural time." (And yes...I realize I am saying that in light of the person took another's life before their time-so it's not a perfect rationale, but one I have a difficult time with-that's all.)
And...you can still love them and not visit...in my opinion.