CA - Oakland Teacher watches 2nd Graders perform sex acts in classroom

[Missizzy]

About 15-20 years ago, one of the news programs like Frontline or 20/20 did a piece on unsupervised children. I just looked for it and can't find it but I vividly remember it as it mirrored what we saw with our children.

They went into a home based day care and filmed the children when the caregiver would step into the kitchen or turn her back. The woman and her helper were exceptionally engaged with the children but it was shocking what happened when they turned their backs. Children bit, pinched, shoved, hurt babies, you name it. Even more shocking was how the children's demeanor changed immediately when the caregiver returned. They showed empathy for the hurt child. They acted as if they had no idea how the baby got pinched or the girl shoved down.

This is where the term "eyes on supervision" came from. Every parent with a special needs child with behavioral challenges will know just what I mean. Every parent of every child should. Teachers honestly don't expect to have to provide this but it's often necessary.

 

[Missizzy]

How many young children might be present when an older sibling, parent or caregiver watches an R rated film--even if they are thought to be in bed? It happens all the time. And 2nd graders who are left alone at home certainly are curious enough to quickly slip in last night's rented film and take a peek. Children are so much more adept than we ever give them credit for. Consider the youtube video of the toddler shaking his little bunnies to Beyonce's song. Children mimic what they see, especially if it seems funny and gets a laugh from others. Yes, one child could certainly have been molested. No charges were brought however. I still believe this was an act of pure mimicry.

 

[eileenhawkeye]

How many young children might be present when an older sibling, parent or caregiver watches an R rated film--even if they are thought to be in bed? It happens all the time. And 2nd graders who are left alone at home certainly are curious enough to quickly slip in last night's rented film and take a peek. Children are so much more adept than we ever give them credit for. Consider the youtube video of the toddler shaking his little bunnies to Beyonce's song. Children mimic what they see, especially if it seems funny and gets a laugh from others. Yes, one child could certainly have been molested. No charges were brought however. I still believe this was an act of pure mimicry.

My cousin and I would sneak down to the basement after my parents went to sleep to watch Sex and the City and movies with plenty of sex scenes all the time when we were kids, but we never went out and engaged in sexual conduct in a public place. We knew that it was "forbidden" behavior and I don't think we had any desire to act it out. Also, this isn't a 2nd grader shaking their butt or wearing a skimpy outfit because a girl in a music video was wearing one. This is actually performing sexual acts; there's a big difference. I don't believe that some 2nd grader watched someone give someone else a BJ on TV and then decided that it would be cool to try that in class.

ETA: Also, since the MPAA (the organization that rates movies) is much more stricter about sex than violence in movies, I believe that a movie that actually showed some girl giving a guy an actual BJ would get an NR rating (formerly known as X-rated) but I could be wrong.

 

[sfbaynancydrew]

Our class sizes in CA are 30-35. They stopped the 20:1 ratio a couple of years ago due to the budget.

Do you want to hear something weird? A couple of weeks before the press release, I was listening to talk radio (KGO) they were talking about the problems with California schools. A teacher called in from Oakland saying that the school she taught at was completely out of control. She made a comment about inappropriate sexual behavior going on in the second grade. I'll try to find the podcast.

Edited: I didn't want to paraphrase some of the racist remarks the caller had made.

 

[Missizzy]

eileenhawkeye--But that's you. Most likely you knew right from wrong and were raised to understand limits and boundaries. All it takes is one child to not have those limits and everything can go haywire. Look at how seemingly caring and empathetic children stand by in silence as bullying or racist or homophobic comments are made. The good news is that some children DID recognize that this was wrong and told. Notice though, that they told later. That is so typical of children. They rarely yell and scream when it's happening. It's almost as if they have to weigh their options and deal with their conscience for a few days. No doubt one child got things started but most teachers can tell you that "all it takes is one".

I also don't think people are as careful with their video *advertiser censored* nor their X-rated films as they should be. It's the same with guns and alcohol and everything else that can be damaging to children. We all want to trust our kids.

We were shocked to find out that our very special needs daughter had learned how to get over a firewall at school on the middle school library computer and watch *advertiser censored* and to get into chat rooms where she gave men her home phone number and other highly personal info. And this was a child who was supposed to have a full time aid and no access to computers. She said she wanted a book from the library and her aid trusted her to get it. Kids are tremendously clever. We don't give them near enough credit, IMO.

 

[Missizzy]

This is an older but very pertinent article about preteens and young teens engaging in oral sex in far greater numbers and at earlier ages. And keep in mind who often oversees 2nd graders after schools. Yep. Their older siblings.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/features/students070899.htm

Unsettling New Fad Alarms Parents: Middle School Oral Sex

"...Kids are not just asking about oral sex anymore. They're talking about it, some are doing it, and adults are clueless...."

and

"...Young people are very casual about oral sex, said Patricia Hersch, author of a book about adolescents, "A Tribe Apart: A Journey Into the Heart of American Adolescence." "To me, oral sex was more intimate than intercourse. Kids today absolutely don't see it that way. It's done commonly, with a shrug. It's part of the grab bag of sexual activities....."

more at link


As always, it's not what they do but how you respond.

 

[not_my_kids]

I think it's more likely that the two children who were engaging in sexual conduct were being molested at home (or one of them was and persuaded the other one to go along with it) than them seeing something on TV. You can't turn on the TV and watch a girl give a guy a BJ, unless you have some *advertiser censored* channel. Yes, TV implies sexual stuff but for 7-year-olds to know how to engage in sexual conduct, well they watched someone. I don't believe that any 2nd grader would learn how to give a BJ (not saying that's what the sexual conduct was, but I wouldn't be surprised) just by watching TV. Would HBO or Showtime show something like that or would they just implied it happened?

ETA: Another reason I believe these children are being molested is not just because they knew about sexual conduct, but that they actually engaged in it in a pretty public place.

I don't know for sure on that one. Even on network TV, you can see a woman under the covers and where her head is by the movement. You can turn on network and see a woman on her knees in front of a man, even if nothing else is shown. 7 year olds are pretty intuitive, they can figure it out. There are songs on radio and online that describe oral sex in vivid detail...
Kids can pick up on these things, and it's not always the parents fault. When my son was three, the neighbors liked to have people over and have the radio up, to where my kids could hear it in their bedroom. After one of their rap parties, my son went to school and used a racial slur that he has NEVER heard used in this house.

All it takes is hearing one argument in a public place where a man yells "Suck my d***" (a common insult around here) and it's in their head. If they know what that word means (asked on the playground, asked an older sibling), they can put it together. I agree that it's likely that one of the kids was abused, but this alone does not guarantee it.

 

[Flmomof2]

child on child sexual abuse is a common occurence but one thats rarely talked about or seen in the news. A child, likely one who has been abused by someone then goes and mimics what happened to them to another child and then that child goes an does it to another child and another and another. Its a vicious cycle. I work in the field and have seen the cycle reach as many as 30-40 kids once its discovered. That is why sexual abuse counseling is so important for an abused child, to help stop the cycle. It can happen in schools/daycares etc. usually out of sight of the teacher. Its not oral sex in the sense of sexual gratification but more a mimic of learned behaviors.

 

[eileenhawkeye]

I don't know for sure on that one. Even on network TV, you can see a woman under the covers and where her head is by the movement. You can turn on network and see a woman on her knees in front of a man, even if nothing else is shown. 7 year olds are pretty intuitive, they can figure it out. There are songs on radio and online that describe oral sex in vivid detail...
Kids can pick up on these things, and it's not always the parents fault. When my son was three, the neighbors liked to have people over and have the radio up, to where my kids could hear it in their bedroom. After one of their rap parties, my son went to school and used a racial slur that he has NEVER heard used in this house.

All it takes is hearing one argument in a public place where a man yells "Suck my d***" (a common insult around here) and it's in their head. If they know what that word means (asked on the playground, asked an older sibling), they can put it together. I agree that it's likely that one of the kids was abused, but this alone does not guarantee it.

I don't believe that a 7-year-old would learn how to perform oral sex by some sexual innuendo on TV. Unless they actually show it happening, they are not going to put two and two together. Yes, there are songs that have sexual meanings and little kids sing along to them, but they don't actually understand the true meaning behind the song. Play the song "Candy shop" by 50 cent to some random 7-year-old with the lyrics, "I'll take you to the candy shop, I'll let you lick the lollipop. Go 'head girl, don't you stop.Keep going 'til you hit the spot," and ask them what it means and none of them will say, "Well, the girl is giving him a BJ and he's about to c..." No 7-year-old listens to a song on the radio, finds out what oral sex is by that song, and the performs it on a classmate in school in front of everyone. There is nothing normal about having oral sex at 7 years old.

ETA: It's not just that they know what oral sex is, that I find disturbing, but that they actually performed it, in a public place. By 7, most kids know that their private parts are called "private" for a reason. The article said there two incidents, one was taking off clothes and the other was oral sex, and it's not normal at all for some 7-year-old to want to be naked in front of their classmates. I believe it's been said that some abused children tend to act out sexually more and know less boundaries.

 

[Missizzy]

I believed that I was offering my children "eyes on" supervision when they were raped. Imagine my shock, when we got to trial after a year long investigation, to listen to three of my eight children who were raped say on the video taped interviews, "We thought Mommy could see us because we could see her." My heart literally broke as they were talking about when the neighbor teen played with them in their play structure fort. I would watch from the kitchen window as I washed dishes and he even had the audacity to wave at me and laugh AS HE WAS RAPING MY CHILDREN.

I'll never recover from the unbelievable horror and guilt of my children thinking I knew of these atrocities. I fully agree with Flmomof2 that it is FAR more common than thought. I once worked with a person who had been raped by a young teen while their family was in the next room having dinner. One of our sons was raped twice in the school restroom by his rapist as he could hear his 1st grade teacher on the other side of the wall. Those acts alone "earned" the rapist two separate Sodomy 1 convictions. And this was at a wonderful and gentle little school with engaged parents and staff and very small class sizes. These things happen right under parents' and teachers' eyes. Children who have been abused or who have seen things that they wish to mimic for some reason (attention, power, whatever), need therapy and treatment to stop the cycle.