CA - Rayanna Nail, 10, dies of drug OD, Klamath, 31 July 2009

[stupidityiseverywher]

Red? I dont know of them ever having red trailer. Do you still talk to this person that bought it? Can you ask her where she bought it from what town? Then i will know excatualy if it was gma or someone ealse.

i'm not sure what i said about your brother or sil, i'm just stating that this is the family (mother/daughter) that this girl bought her trailer (read camper trailer, not house trailer) from years ago. She said one of the women (and i wasn't listening close enough to attest to which) had white powder around her nose and explained that she had just taken her pills. It's a lot of he said she said, and i'm just repeating what she said, i wasn't making the assertion myself or saying anything about your bro/sil.

And i'm still with the others, it was the parents responsibility to see to it that ray was never, ever, unsupervised in the pressence of her grandmother. Period. Rayona was failed by those who were most responsible for her well being. This whole mess could have been avoided if they had only done that. It's sad, and it's unfortunate. Everyone involved is suffering for this failure.

 

[stupidityiseverywher]

Sorry mary that was not all to you. I just read all the quotes before i start responding and when i am typing they all flood my head so i start answering more than one at a time. The last quote about the guy or girl that wants answers to personal info was who most of it was to.

thank you mary for saying that. I am not affraid to answer them it's just some of them are very personal to ray and i will not discrase her memory by posting personal things on here, there are reasons she was troubled and it was mental not physical thats all i will say about that, my nephew is normal,as far as how old he is why would that matter he is here with me and thats all that matters. As far as responisable adults and where were they well i can tell you that my brother did the best he could to try to be a dad to ray and considdered her his after her father walked out on her very young. My family is not disfuncitonal,, kris side may be thats not for me to say she wil get her judgement one way or the other. If not now then when she goes. There are alot of bad things that happend to mom before she became a mother why was that not stopped, then maybee like everyone says, that all this was moddeled for ray well it was almost moddeled for kris, its her norm to be around that stuff since she grew up with it all around her.when will our kids not have to live with all the hurt and pain in their lives? Why dont we start stepping in before it can come t this instead of letting everyone off the hook and letting them back out to be around kids. I dont know i think i am done posting there are a few people out there i want to thank with all my heart for the prayers and kindness, for the guy or girl that wants answers to those questions, you let me know who you are and personal things about you and then i will answer yours.

 

[stupidityiseverywher]

That would all be a good argument if gma wasnt asked if it was ok for ray to come down, kris was told it was ok, the gma was expecting her, ray didnt go right after the call waited for 10 min or so so there was time to put the pills away (knowing her history) so if she was expecting her why wasnt this all done, why didnt she tell mom ive taken my pilss no dont send her? That puts blame on gma for me, that was cps's agreement to call and make sure it was ok for ray to come down before letting her around gma, thats what was done, so its not a breaking and entering, she had time t put pills away and could of said i am on my pills.

hi everyone. I was just reading this thread and thought i would jump off of this post, 6angels. You make a very compelling argument, but imo, i would think if an agreement was made it would be that the children could not go to gm's without supervision from another adult. Or would at least insist that the children could not go to gm's period. Of course, you never know with cps.

My concern, besides the fact that a child died needlessly, is that if gm is convicted of this, would that make every neighbor in every neighborhood culpable if someone's kid came into their home uninvited, and od'd? I mean, say you babysat this child knowing her history of prescription med abuse; you locked your medication away from her when you were watching her. Then say one day the mother sends her to your house to borrow sugar and you are in the back yard working in your flower bed or something, and the child comes through the front door without your knowledge. If that child sees your meds on the kitchen table, and takes some, are you culpable for that? Will this set a precedence for that degree of culpability?
Imo, the gm should not have been charged at all. If someone comes into my home uninvited, is that not breaking and entering, no matter the age or relation? I believe the mother is 100% to blame for this. At the very least, she should have been more than a little concerned about a fever and rash. Especially as this is also symptoms of meningitis.

 

[STEADFAST]

I know alot of you are stciking up for gma but let me tell you if you knew her you wouldb't be.

snipped

See, this is the problem for me. You're saying that the family knew the grandma was out of control, and yet Ray's mom still took grandma's word that it was okay for Ray (who the family also knew was out of control) to come over alone.

 

[stupidityiseverywher]

Ok but ray was a child gma was a adult. What has happend can never be changed but when you do keep the kids away from gma and she is on your door step crying and begging to b able to see the kids and saying she will go by cps order and that she will not get high when the kids are around,,,what do you do

snipped

see, this is the problem for me. You're saying that the family knew the grandma was out of control, and yet ray's mom still took grandma's word that it was okay for ray (who the family also knew was out of control) to come over alone.

 

[songline]

Thank you mary for saying that. I am not affraid to answer them it's just some of them are very personal to ray and i will not discrase her memory by posting personal things on here, there are reasons she was troubled and it was mental not physical thats all i will say about that, my nephew is normal,as far as how old he is why would that matter he is here with me and thats all that matters. As far as responisable adults and where were they well i can tell you that my brother did the best he could to try to be a dad to ray and considdered her his after her father walked out on her very young. My family is not disfuncitonal,, kris side may be thats not for me to say she wil get her judgement one way or the other. If not now then when she goes. There are alot of bad things that happend to mom before she became a mother why was that not stopped, then maybee like everyone says, that all this was moddeled for ray well it was almost moddeled for kris, its her norm to be around that stuff since she grew up with it all around her.when will our kids not have to live with all the hurt and pain in their lives? Why dont we start stepping in before it can come t this instead of letting everyone off the hook and letting them back out to be around kids. I dont know i think i am done posting there are a few people out there i want to thank with all my heart for the prayers and kindness, for the guy or girl that wants answers to those questions, you let me know who you are and personal things about you and then i will answer yours.

Were you talking to me songline? Who is Mary?

 

[STEADFAST]

Ok but ray was a child gma was a adult. What has happend can never be changed but when you do keep the kids away from gma and she is on your door step crying and begging to b able to see the kids and saying she will go by cps order and that she will not get high when the kids are around,,,what do you do

You say no. Ray's mom had a responsibility to tell gma she didn't believe her and to protect Ray. Ray's mom needed to be the adult.

 

[Salem]

That would all be a good argument if gma wasnt asked if it was ok for ray to come down, kris was told it was ok, the gma was expecting her, ray didnt go right after the call waited for 10 min or so so there was time to put the pills away (knowing her history) so if she was expecting her why wasnt this all done, why didnt she tell mom ive taken my pilss no dont send her? That puts blame on gma for me, that was cps's agreement to call and make sure it was ok for ray to come down before letting her around gma, thats what was done, so its not a breaking and entering, she had time t put pills away and could of said i am on my pills.

stupidityiseverywher - I am very sorry for your loss and very sorry that Ray was lost.

I have not caught up on the whole thread yet, but I want to ask - you say that your SIL, Kris, did several things such as inspecting the vomit, searching pockets, calling gma before Ray went over, etc. How do you know this? Is it because this is what Kris is telling you? Do you think that Kris may be embellishing the truth a little due to the CPS agreement? You said that CPS required that Kris call gma before the kids went over. Do you think that Kris might just be saying she called because of CPS?

I don't mean to sound accusatory. You know Kris, I do not. I am just wondering if you see any reason to doubt Kris' story or wonder about what really happened that night.

And.... of course you do not have to answer my question. This is your family and I do not mean to be disresepctful.

Prayers to your family,

Salem

 

[stupidityiseverywher]

Sorry yes i was talking to you,,,i am new at this and on the bottom of where you leave a quote it said mary so i thought that was you name sorry but at least now i knw,,,so the ones that said mary are for you...i think there is one more

were you talking to me songline? Who is mary?

 

[stupidityiseverywher]

So did rays grandma

you say no. Ray's mom had a responsibility to tell gma she didn't believe her and to protect ray. Ray's mom needed to be the adult.

 

[stupidityiseverywher]

WHEN IT COMES TO KIDS BEING HURT JUST LIKE EVERYONE EALSE I SUSPECT TILL THERE ARE FACTS, THE PHONE CALL I SEEN THE RECORED I CAN SPEAK OF THAT AND KNOW ITS A FACT, THE VOMIT I SEEN THE PAN THE NEXT MORNING AND ALTHOUGH RINSED OUT IT WAS IN RAYS ROOM PLUS THERE WAS VOMIT ALL OVER HER MATTRESS THAT THE POLICE TOOK. DID SHE INSPECT THE VOMIT I BELIEVE SHE DID. UNLESS SOMETHING COMES UP FOR ME NOT TO, TO ME THATS JUST NOT SOMETHING THAT JUST COMES OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD TO SAY UNLESS YOU HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT AND I THINK IF YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE IT, AS FAR AS THE POCKETS, I BELIEVE SHE CHECKED THEM AFTER CLEANING UP THE PILLS AT GMAS BECAUSE THEN SHE KNEW THAT THERE WERE ILLS LYING AROUND AND RAY WAS NOT LYING ABOUT IT, BUT FOR THAT I WAS NOT THERE. AT 2:30 AM WHEN RAY STARTED GETTING SICK THERE WERE NO POCKETS TO GO THREW. SO SOMEWHERE BETWEEN GOING TO GMAS AROUND 7-7:15 PM AND 2:30 AM RAY TOOK PILLS. i BELIEVE SHE HID THEM AND TOOK THEM AROUND BED TIME BECAUSE IT TAKES PILLS 45-1 HR TO KICK IN AND THEY STAYED UP LATE PLAYING CARDS, SO I BELIEVE SHE TOOK THEM BETWEEN 11PM AND 12 AM THEN SHE STARTED TO GET SICK. aS FAR AS ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS, WHEN PEOPLE ASK THEM THE WAY YOU DID I HAVE NO PROBLEM ANSWERING, IT WAS A REFRESHING CHANGE FROM THE WAY I HAVE BEEN BEING ASKED. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART FOR THE PRAYERS. GOD BLESS

stupidityiseverywher - I am very sorry for your loss and very sorry that Ray was lost.

I have not caught up on the whole thread yet, but I want to ask - you say that your SIL, Kris, did several things such as inspecting the vomit, searching pockets, calling gma before Ray went over, etc. How do you know this? Is it because this is what Kris is telling you? Do you think that Kris may be embellishing the truth a little due to the CPS agreement? You said that CPS required that Kris call gma before the kids went over. Do you think that Kris might just be saying she called because of CPS?

I don't mean to sound accusatory. You know Kris, I do not. I am just wondering if you see any reason to doubt Kris' story or wonder about what really happened that night.

And.... of course you do not have to answer my question. This is your family and I do not mean to be disresepctful.

Prayers to your family,

Salem

 

[stupidityiseverywher]

When i said you were talking about my brother and sil, i was talking about your first quote when you decided to start this thread;;;;;;;;

i'm not sure what i said about your brother or sil, i'm just stating that this is the family (mother/daughter) that this girl bought her trailer (read camper trailer, not house trailer) from years ago. She said one of the women (and i wasn't listening close enough to attest to which) had white powder around her nose and explained that she had just taken her pills. It's a lot of he said she said, and i'm just repeating what she said, i wasn't making the assertion myself or saying anything about your bro/sil.

And i'm still with the others, it was the parents responsibility to see to it that ray was never, ever, unsupervised in the pressence of her grandmother. Period. Rayona was failed by those who were most responsible for her well being. This whole mess could have been avoided if they had only done that. It's sad, and it's unfortunate. Everyone involved is suffering for this failure.

 

[Cicada]

That would all be a good argument if gma wasnt asked if it was ok for ray to come down, kris was told it was ok, the gma was expecting her, ray didnt go right after the call waited for 10 min or so so there was time to put the pills away (knowing her history) so if she was expecting her why wasnt this all done, why didnt she tell mom ive taken my pilss no dont send her? That puts blame on gma for me, that was cps's agreement to call and make sure it was ok for ray to come down before letting her around gma, thats what was done, so its not a breaking and entering, she had time t put pills away and could of said i am on my pills.

I do sympathize with your family. A loss of a child is horrible under any circumstance. I do have to wonder though: Why would Kris not have sent Ray immediately down? Why wait 10 minutes? If GM was lucid at the time of the call, and only lived 2 homes down, chances are Ray could have been in and out before GM passed out. As far as GM showing up on the doorstep crying to see them, well, let her in. At least it would have been supervised.
To be honest, and I do not mean any disrespect to any member of your family, I would have never sent my child to GM's alone for any reason, knowing the situation. I have a brother who has a drinking problem, and my children aren't allowed at his house without me or their father, nor do we allow them to ride in a vehicle he is driving even if he appears sober.
IMO, it is still the parent's responsibility to protect the children. Even if that means hurting someone else's feelings. After all, GM didn't consider Kris' feelings when she caused CPS to investigate to begin with, did she?

 

[stupidityiseverywher]

i dont know why ray didnt go immediatly down.. she did only allow her to visit in her home for a while, then as it seemed she was getting her act together because kris was regulating her pills for her she thought it was ok(cant realy say ok but used it for a lack of better word, theres not realy anything ok about this) just to find out gma was hidding pills before she gave kris the bottles after getting them filled. i agree with u if it was me and my kids it would have been a diffrent situation, but its not and i dont know excatualy know how gmas and krises relationship was,i know what ever was said when it came to ray or g ma or her side of the family by my brother it was always over road by gma and sometimes mom. I dont know why ray was allowed to go over other then the reasons ive already posted. when my brother gets back i am going to talk to him now that he has had some time to get threw the shock, I didnt want to talk to him before this because it was not the right time nor the right place, but any way there will be more post by me later in the future,,,, thank you for your kind words

I do sympathize with your family. A loss of a child is horrible under any circumstance. I do have to wonder though: Why would Kris not have sent Ray immediately down? Why wait 10 minutes? If GM was lucid at the time of the call, and only lived 2 homes down, chances are Ray could have been in and out before GM passed out. As far as GM showing up on the doorstep crying to see them, well, let her in. At least it would have been supervised.
To be honest, and I do not mean any disrespect to any member of your family, I would have never sent my child to GM's alone for any reason, knowing the situation. I have a brother who has a drinking problem, and my children aren't allowed at his house without me or their father, nor do we allow them to ride in a vehicle he is driving even if he appears sober.
IMO, it is still the parent's responsibility to protect the children. Even if that means hurting someone else's feelings. After all, GM didn't consider Kris' feelings when she caused CPS to investigate to begin with, did she?

 

[Cicada]

i dont know why ray didnt go immediatly down.. she did only allow her to visit in her home for a while, then as it seemed she was getting her act together because kris was regulating her pills for her she thought it was ok(cant realy say ok but used it for a lack of better word, theres not realy anything ok about this) just to find out gma was hidding pills before she gave kris the bottles after getting them filled. i agree with u if it was me and my kids it would have been a diffrent situation, but its not and i dont know excatualy know how gmas and krises relationship was,i know what ever was said when it came to ray or g ma or her side of the family by my brother it was always over road by gma and sometimes mom. I dont know why ray was allowed to go over other then the reasons ive already posted. when my brother gets back i am going to talk to him now that he has had some time to get threw the shock, I didnt want to talk to him before this because it was not the right time nor the right place, but any way there will be more post by me later in the future,,,, thank you for your kind words

Thank you so much for responding to all of us. I know it must be difficult, and we do appreciate it. My prayers to all of your family.

 

[impatientredhead]

ok go back and read........she did call but did not imadeatly send her down for the potatos. as far as your view u are entitled to your view. BUT UNTILL ANY OF U HAVE A MOTHER LIKE THAT AND ARE GOING THREW THIS AND ARE GOING BUY WHAT CPS SAID YOU CANT SAY WHO IS RIGHT OR WRONG OR WHAT YOU WOULD DO IN THE SAME, AS NEITHER CAN I AND AM HER AUNT

I was raised by a drug addict mother and I can tell you with first hand experience that drug addicts are liars and unlikely to change. It may be too late in your families case, and for that again I am sorry, but we can say what is right or wrong and anyone reading this that is "hopeful" about a drug addicts behavior around their children, hang on to your hope for the family member and try to get them help but absolutely do not ever put your child's well being subject to the addicts judgement.

It is really not a tough call, especially with a child that has ODed twice already.

 

[songline]

Hi stupidityiseverywher

In one post you say:
- If I knew Grandma like you know Grandma I would not have stuck up for her.
GRANTED. I am sure you know far more then I do.
- You also state that this family is NOT dysfunctional - to which I have to add -
That is all in the eyes of the beholder. To the world at large a family raised by a drug addict
can not be functional. They are Dysfunctional, and most dysfunctional families think they are functional.

This is an investigation, grandmas profile will be investigated as will be RAY'S mom Kris's profile.
I do not see that Kris did anything right In My Opinion. I do see denial, and out to lunch syndrome.
I am sure it will be found that both women were SICK, and drugs do make some mean too.
I believe you that Grandma is a hand full, and you don't want to to talk bad about her.
But it will come out. It must. This is an investigation.

I do respect that you are trying to do some damage control because you love your brother, your family.
I do hope you find peace and keep your children away from all of them.
Love does not mean you have to accept anything that may be damaging.
I pray you find the strength to stay away from all of them. At least until there is evidence of healing,
and that takes a very long time. Your Sister in law is a mess. God bless you for keeping her son.

 

[Oblio]

Now SIE, I don't get what you're saying I said about your SIL or bro. I never even knew of your bro until you came onto the thread, I only stated how I interpreted the article. period. Most people here interpreted it the same way.

As far as a red trailer, well hell, I don't know what color it was, and I certainly never said it was red. I said "read travel trailer" as in a trailer, not a trailer house.

Again, I am sorry for what your family is going through. Ray was failed by so many around her and I still don't think that her grandmother should be thrown under the bus for it. Should she be charged with something? I'm sure she should, especially if the stuff you have brought to the thread is true, but she's not the only one who failed Rayanna.

As I stated before, I believe that prison is also about rehabilitation. Your SIL did not lose her daughter and mother in one fell swoop. She still has her mother, and she should be thankful for it. They both need help and healing, which I think is possible in the case of both. Lets hope that Gma has the support in and out of prison(should she go) that she comes out clean and responsible, but she is going to need the support of her daughter more than anyone for that to happen.

 

[stupidityiseverywher]

My brother only takes a heart burn pill. He is not disfunctional, he is as normal, he has a beer every now and then but thats all my brother does. My brother has always been a good father, uncle brother and son. He has never done anything to harm kids, he has done nothing but love kids. My brother was not i repeate not raised by a drug addict, my mother is the most supporting loving giving mother i have ever seen. She has always done everything for her kids. That is how my brother is. I dont know if you were talking about my brother when you said disfunctional, but i felt obbligated to quote on this in case you were. I dont know if you think the gma refferd to is my mom but it is not. It is kris's mom and i will never do damage control for her, she deserves everything she gets. As far as keeping my kids away from my brother i will never do that unless there was a reason to and i do not see heart burn pills and a beer every now and then a reason to keep my kids away from my brother......

hi stupidityiseverywher

in one post you say:
- if i knew grandma like you know grandma i would not have stuck up for her.
Granted. I am sure you know far more then i do.
- you also state that this family is not dysfunctional - to which i have to add -
that is all in the eyes of the beholder. To the world at large a family raised by a drug addict
can not be functional. They are dysfunctional, and most dysfunctional families think they are functional.

This is an investigation, grandmas profile will be investigated as will be ray's mom kris's profile.
I do not see that kris did anything right in my opinion. I do see denial, and out to lunch syndrome.
I am sure it will be found that both women were sick, and drugs do make some mean too.
I believe you that grandma is a hand full, and you don't want to to talk bad about her.
But it will come out. It must. This is an investigation.

I do respect that you are trying to do some damage control because you love your brother, your family.
I do hope you find peace and keep your children away from all of them.
love does not mean you have to accept anything that may be damaging.
I pray you find the strength to stay away from all of them. At least until there is evidence of healing,
and that takes a very long time. Your sister in law is a mess. God bless you for keeping her son.

 

[stupidityiseverywher]

Ok sorry i missread your statment about the trailer....as far as kris supporting her mom,,,will never happen...i agree with you that will be the best thing for gma is to get clean and rehabiliated, i also agree that ray was failed by alot of people and programs around her. That said back to my orignal question, do you still talk to your coworker, can you ask her the color of the trailer? I know every travel trailer gma has ever lived in. The way you are quoting leads me to believe you know gma and kris, is that the case?

now sie, i don't get what you're saying i said about your sil or bro. I never even knew of your bro until you came onto the thread, i only stated how i interpreted the article. Period. Most people here interpreted it the same way.

As far as a red trailer, well hell, i don't know what color it was, and i certainly never said it was red. I said "read travel trailer" as in a trailer, not a trailer house.

Again, i am sorry for what your family is going through. Ray was failed by so many around her and i still don't think that her grandmother should be thrown under the bus for it. Should she be charged with something? I'm sure she should, especially if the stuff you have brought to the thread is true, but she's not the only one who failed rayanna.

As i stated before, i believe that prison is also about rehabilitation. Your sil did not lose her daughter and mother in one fell swoop. She still has her mother, and she should be thankful for it. They both need help and healing, which i think is possible in the case of both. Lets hope that gma has the support in and out of prison(should she go) that she comes out clean and responsible, but she is going to need the support of her daughter more than anyone for that to happen.