Warning...... Long, Rambling Post Ahead !
I didn't read but the OP and a couple posts after because I don't want the other responses to influence my already confused widdow brain.
Long ago, in a land far, far away (on another chat), maybe back in Sept. or first part of Oct. I stated there are many many people who 'knew' at a young age they were 'different' (me being just one of many). Many I now know of personally through support groups.
These people 'knew' they were 'different' as young as 5, 6 years of age.
One thing we all had in common....there was one huge event or a series of events (all tragic, terrifying or crisis) in our lives that brought on even more 'odd' behavior than we had known previously.
It was as if the crisis brought out even more of the bad side of us....almost as if the crisis or tragic event was a trigger.
In that other chat room, without stating my own experiences, I stated that I felt Casey knew long ago she was 'different'. Long, long before she was pregnant with Caylee.
When you have a whole family and close friends who refuse to accept personality disorders or mental illness issues, you tend to sweep it under the rug right along side of them.
Can't ask questions or get opinions....who would you ask?
It's not talked about....because your surrounding family members have the 'shameful' attitude.
IMHO I think Casey 'knew' she was different long ago....long before Caylee was conceived, long before Casey didn't graduate with her class. Maybe her little outbursts, her whining about 'losing it', her mentioning needing to be committed (and we don't know how many other types of 'tantrums' she threw at her family over the years), were her attempts at throwing out there what she knew was not 'normal', and wanting to see the reactions of others.
Would they take her seriously? Would they chuckle and roll their eyes and think she was pulling their leg?
What I'm saying is ...... What if years ago Casey begin 'testing the waters' as far as getting reactions from people about her having a possible mental/personality disorder and depending on the responses, she chose to pursue it or go back to sweeping it under the rug.
Needless to say, when I brought this up in the other chat room, I was laughed at, ridiculed and told I better read up on the case as I didn't know what I was talking about.
*Please, if you are going to do that here....please do it behind my back. *
Unfortunately, I did know what I was talking about.
I just can't get it out of my head that Casey knew she was different but because of the dynamics in that household, her extended family or even her close friends, she was left with the feeling that it's something she shouldn't be bringing up, shouldn't even question....just live with it.
As you get older, with nobody to tell, nobody to help, everyone feeling it's 'shameful' to have mental illness "Not in OUR Family!", you learn to adapt. You learn how to function as the world expects you to.
But there's that proverbial straw, and the camel's back and whether you are in your early 20's or 45 years of age, sweeping it under the rug becomes more and more difficult and it's almost impossible to 'fit in' or keep hidden the quirks, the strange behavior, the little 'not quite normal' actions and reactions to what should be normal everyday life.
Other than glowing accounts from her own Mom and Dad, we don't know what Casey was like growing up.
We have no idea at what age Casey's actions started to seem peculiar to others.
In no way am I saying Casey is not at fault or that she needs a good lawyer to mount a fantabulous sanity defense.
But if we are going to look at the actions of a young woman who killed her child, I hope we can study the 'How did we get to this point' so that maybe, hopefully, someone else who's out there reading about this sad case would be able to recognize the red flags in their own family and not have to suffer the same fate.
*dons stone-deflecting suit*
