housemouse
New Member
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2008
- Messages
- 1,399
- Reaction score
- 2
Chilly Willy, thank you for posting how you truly loved your son. One of our sons, in his stupid teens, did something simliar, along with a friend. The two of them entered a summer hotel kitchen, and helped themselves to goody edibles in the wee hours of the morning, scaring the resident hotel-keepers.
We got a call from the local LE in the morning, and they were holding our son until the county LE came to get him. He was humiliated, and ashamed. But, while we could have "sweet-talked" him out (local clout, very small village), we didn't take that route.
He was taken to the county jail, and even thought we knew it was a weekend, we did "nothing" to get him released. We let him cool his 16 yr old heels until the local judge decided to hear his case. We did call a good friend lawyer, but made it clear that we wanted our son to learn up close and personal what a mess he had gotten himself into, and not to pull any strings for leniency.
It was a trivial offense, but we encouraged the lawyer dealing with him to lay it on thick, and we stayed away from "visitation" at the county jail, etc. He was released, since he wasn't a major danger to society, but we made sure he overheard our anxious "late-night" conversations about how we were going to come up with the money for his defense, etc.
He got the message, believe me. Became an upstanding citizen, and eventually enlisted in the military. Security police, and now in top-secret security employment.
The moral of all this? We have a few chances to let our teens know that there are consequences. If we protect them from these, we do not give them true love.
Love means letting go, not prolonging dependency.
We got a call from the local LE in the morning, and they were holding our son until the county LE came to get him. He was humiliated, and ashamed. But, while we could have "sweet-talked" him out (local clout, very small village), we didn't take that route.
He was taken to the county jail, and even thought we knew it was a weekend, we did "nothing" to get him released. We let him cool his 16 yr old heels until the local judge decided to hear his case. We did call a good friend lawyer, but made it clear that we wanted our son to learn up close and personal what a mess he had gotten himself into, and not to pull any strings for leniency.
It was a trivial offense, but we encouraged the lawyer dealing with him to lay it on thick, and we stayed away from "visitation" at the county jail, etc. He was released, since he wasn't a major danger to society, but we made sure he overheard our anxious "late-night" conversations about how we were going to come up with the money for his defense, etc.
He got the message, believe me. Became an upstanding citizen, and eventually enlisted in the military. Security police, and now in top-secret security employment.
The moral of all this? We have a few chances to let our teens know that there are consequences. If we protect them from these, we do not give them true love.
Love means letting go, not prolonging dependency.
I don't seem to be able to quote posts for some reason....?
JBean, thank you for posting that. It is very easy for any of us to look at this situation as observers and say we'd do this or that, but it's an entirely different situation when someone you love is involved. Obviously Casey has done something really horrific and her parents don't want to accept that. They love her and they probably will continue to love her regardless of the outcome of this case. That's what parents do, that's why even some serial killers get visits from their families in prison. Obviously the Casey who is responsible for whatever happened to Caylee is a difficult person to love, but the Anthony's image of what their daughter could have/should have been will forever be in their hearts. A person can't love their child one day and stop loving them the next.
When my son was in his mid-teens he and his friends stole a mini-bike. When I learned of it, I put him in the car and drove him right to the police station. They hand-cuffed him and put him in a jail cell right on the spot, to await arraignment. I cried my eyes out thinking of him scared and alone in that jail cell even though I was the one who took him in. I knew he'd done wrong but if someone had come up to me at that time and called my son a thief or made disparaging remarks about him I'd have punched their lights out.
BTW, my son is now a hardworking 25 year old man who buys his own toys and he's never been in trouble with the law since.