CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #15

[Confusion]

After hashing it all out and rehashing it, I guess the bottom line for me is this. Why didnt MR immediately go to the friends house a couple of miles away, and see if Dylan had gotten a ride? No need to try and depend upon spotty cell service or wait and see if it went through. JMO

Most likely because he didn't see the need to at that point. MOO

 

[katydid23]

It has nothing to do with me or my parenting. I'm not Dylan's parent, and I don't assume that everybody else thinks or acts like I do.

I am not saying it has anything to do with your parenting. I was referring to the people who have posted, saying they would not be concerned, and they would just assume he was out at the creek or at his friends. I said nothing about your parenting and I am sorry if you felt I did. :loveyou:

 

[katydid23]

Most likely because he didn't see the need to at that point. MOO

Either that, or he wanted to drag the timeline out...

 

[Confusion]

Either that, or he wanted to drag the timeline out...

That's one I see a lot and don't understand. If he did something to Dylan early Sunday night, why would he need to drag out the timeline?

 

[asyousay]

That's one I see a lot and don't understand. If he did something to Dylan early Sunday night, why would he need to drag out the timeline?

To muddy the waters even more I would assume .

 

[PaulR]

If my 13yo isn't where he is supposed to be (home waiting on me) and he isn't responding to my attempts to locate him then I am going to step up my efforts and try another mode of contact. I'm not going to wait hours to do it either.

I don't mean to be pithy, but...

So?

 

[jennapuppy]

But I assume your daughter lived with you and was not just there on a court-ordered visit, her very first day of such, in fact. It is not the same situation as for parents who live with their kids daily, know their habits, etc.

My husband's first thought would not be that there's a missing child - unless there were blood or obvious signs of a struggle. He just doesn't panic or worry. He's not like that and never will be. He might text before he sits down at the pc or after a game of COD, and before he knows it some time has passed and he realizes he hasn't received a reply and then he'd send another text.... I'd like to say it wouldn't take him 4 hrs to make sure he knew where she was, but it might take a couple of hours before he would worry. (and, if my daughter were on a court - ordered visitation with him, I would be worried about her just because he's too laid-back and not as cautious as he should be. Like I said, luckily she's grown!)

ETA: of course, "laid-back" doesn't seem to describe MR's personality, from what we've learned about him. And, in the case of a bitter custody dispute, you would think he would know that ER would hear every detail and would be extra careful with Dylan.

 

[nikb]

I would have went into something close to crisis mode right away. I have 12 & 17 yo boys and when they are home alone the rule is don't leave the house unless you are going out the back door and through the back yard to get to grandmom's (our yards are fenced together with a gate separating the yards) and even then you text me and let me know first. Do people really let young teens take off as they please and let hours pass with no word from them before they decide maybe they should try to locate them?

Hate to say it but yeah, people do.

My Mom had a little girl come to her door the other day asking if she had any "snacks" that she could share. She asked the girl if she was hungry (as opposed to just looking for candy or something) and the girl said yes, then had her slightly younger brother come to the door also asking for "snacks." My Mom asked if they were lost, alone, etc. and the kids said no, mom was asleep and they were locked out. Turned out to be 3 or 4 (my Mom wasn't sure, some seemed to be hiding) kids between ages 4 and 9 or 10, going door to door begging for food while 'mommy' took her 'nap.' After they talked for a bit my Mom figured out that the kids are normally locked outside on their own in a relatively busy neighborhood for 4-5 hours/day. It made me physically shake when my Mom told me this story and I thought of the horrible things that could happen to these children. My Mom called LE and they did come out so hopefully the kids are in a better situation... I really, really hope.

Related to Dylan's case I am not implicating the family or neighbors in any way whatsoever, just saying, as hard as it is for us to believe, yes there are families/parents who don't give a crap about their kids or their safety. I realize opinions vary on being protective vs. over-protective but IMO there's a definite area called "neglect."

 

[asyousay]

What it a burner phone ?

 

[aust amateur slueth]

That's one I see a lot and don't understand. If he did something to Dylan early Sunday night, why would he need to drag out the timeline?

to escape detection for longer, to throw LE off the scent when he did report Dylan missing

 

[cluciano63]

What it a burner phone ?

Slang for an untraceable prepaid phone, like drug dealers or cheating spouses use, lol.

I can't see any reason why Dylan would have one. Unless some posters believe his mom gave him one so he could have a direct line to her, but isn't that what a regular cell phone is for, anyway?

 

[Seajay]

I raised my kids before every kid was attached to a cell phone. Some of their friends had beepers, but mine did not. I had to parent the old fashioned way. If I came home and one of my kids wasn't here, I would not panic and think the world had ended. I would wait to see if they came back for about half an hour, then I would start calling their friends if I had their phone numbers or I would go to their houses if I didn't.

I can only remember one time it took awhile to find one of my children, and I was starting to be alarmed but before I could go all psycho mom and call the police, he showed up again. However, when I got my hands on him, I went all psycho mom on him. He didn't do it again. The point is, he did do it once. And that would have been all it takes to disappear for good.

Their rules were they let me know where they are at all times. They call me when they got to where they were going, they call me when the left. I needed to know who, what, when, where, how and why each time they went out the door. I had "spies" on every block in the neighborhood because I was very involved in the community. Everyone knew me and everyone knew them. I could cover more miles sitting on my couch at home by the phone then they could on foot. They found out the hard way.

 

[katydid23]

That's one I see a lot and don't understand. If he did something to Dylan early Sunday night, why would he need to drag out the timeline?

It is hard to type this, but if he put him in the river, or dropped him over the dam, wouldn't he want a lot of time to go by before the searches began?

Also, he wants LE to think he was hitch hiking or abducted from the street. So he has to make it seem like Dylan was safe and sound until Monday morning.Just speculating....

 

[Seajay]

Slang for an untraceable prepaid phone, like drug dealers or cheating spouses use, lol.

I can't see any reason why Dylan would have one. Unless some posters believe his mom gave him one so he could have a direct line to her, but isn't that what a regular cell phone is for, anyway?

The Long Island Serial Killer used one to call the families of his victims to taunt them after he murdered their loved one.

 

[katydid23]

I raised my kids before every kid was attached to a cell phone. Some of their friends had beepers, but mine did not. I had to parent the old fashioned way. If I came home and one of my kids wasn't here, I would not panic and think the world had ended. I would wait to see if they came back for about half an hour, then I would start calling their friends if I had their phone numbers or I would go to their houses if I didn't.

I can only remember one time it took awhile to find one of my children, and I was starting to be alarmed but before I could go all psycho mom and call the police, he showed up again. However, when I got my hands on him, I went all psycho mom on him. He didn't do it again. The point is, he did do it once. And that would have been all it takes to disappear for good.

Their rules were they let me know where they are at all times. They call me when they got to where they were going, they call me when the left. I needed to know who, what, when, where, how and why each time they went out the door. I had "spies" on every block in the neighborhood because I was very involved in the community. Everyone knew me and everyone knew them. I could cover more miles sitting on my couch at home by the phone then they could on foot. They found out the hard way.

I understand exactly what you are saying. But MR did none of those things you are describing; no spies on the corner, no rules apparently about checking in when he arrived somewhere, no numbers to call for the friends, and no waiting a half an hour, then going to look.

 

[PaulR]

Then what exactly do you mean to be?

I'm just trying to understand why we are talking about how WSers manage their families.

 

[asyousay]

Slang for an untraceable prepaid phone, like drug dealers or cheating spouses use, lol.

I can't see any reason why Dylan would have one. Unless some posters believe his mom gave him one so he could have a direct line to her, but isn't that what a regular cell phone is for, anyway?

Thank You


Now I know what it is , I have to ask what makes posters think he had one ?

 

[Confusion]

It is hard to type this, but if he put him in the river, or dropped him over the dam, wouldn't he want a lot of time to go by before the searches began?

Also, he wants LE to think he was hitch hiking or abducted from the street. So he has to make it seem like Dylan was safe and sound until Monday morning.Just speculating....

I guess that makes sense, if that's what you believe happened.

 

[cluciano63]

Honestly, I see very little in common with Dylan's situation on this visit to his father, and most posters and their children and what they would do, etc. Dylan was ordered to be there. There had been recent battles to try to prevent it, apparently. His father probably did not know much about what Dylan would or would not do if left alone. It does seem to me that he treated Dylan not being there kind of casually, under the circumstances, and I don't mean because he ended up being missing, but because it sounds like he and Dylan were not exactly close.

It probably doesn't mean anything, but Dylan's face in the Walmart and/or airport photos do not show a kid happy to have arrived for a holiday visit.

JMOJMOJMOJMO

 

[vasportsmom]

The Long Island Serial Killer used one to call the families of his victims to taunt them after he murdered their loved one.

I assume we can rule Dylan out as being a drug dealer, cheating spouse or serial killer so why would he have a burn phone?


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