x_files
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O/T sort of but not unrelated.
All young women here who are not yet attached and have a s/o. My biggest thing is warning young women about abusers. I have seen it happen too many times to relatives and friends as well as myself that you fall for some jerk who ends up being a real abuser. This topic is one of the main ones discussed around women in my circle, how to see the warning signs in a guy so you can run before wasting time, energy and your mental sanity on the person. There are MANY signs and they are usually different for each person but there is one that it seems many share.
WATCH intently how the man interacts with and speaks about his mother. To give you the best insight on how he will eventually treat YOU long term is to see how he treats his own mother. It sounds simple and perhaps irrelevent but it really is not. The closest crystal ball available to you is observing the mother / son relationship he has. One can pretend for awhile and play nice, nice with mom but soon enough their true colors come out or hers will. Either way the relationship reveals itself very quickly. If they don't WANT to bring you to meet mom, keep walking. He isn't serious about you or he has something to hide.
yes, how he treats others like waitresses, but definitely how he speaks about and treats his own mother. I wish I knew about this when I was younger. I feel for my adopted mom is abusive and smothers me. But, he wasn't wrong she was abusive and found out much later sexually abusive and he developed toxic patterns of coping to deal with it.
The SA trauma made him despise women and rage-filled freak-outs towards them. No wonder he hated women wanted to control, abuse and assault them.
What a nightmare! I'm glad I got out.