nhmemorymaker
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From a real Minnesota nurse. Why people are dying. Choosing who lives and who dies. Frightening.
You all cannot imagine what's going on right now. The last 2 days have been, by far, the worst I've seen in my career. Monday, we tried desperately to keep Covid patients alive all day, only to go back Tuesday and find out several of them coded and died on evening shift. Only one, they were able to bring back. After struggling all day and doing our best, my coworkers still had to run BACK TO BACK codes and lose most of them.
Why? Because despite the reassurance from above, NO, we do not have ICU beds for everyone. And even if we have a couple open ICU beds, there is now no nurses for them, so they are useless. We do not have enough resources. In person, I watched the house supervisor try to pound it through the physicians' heads, yes there was an open bed, but no one to staff it, they could NOT transfer the patient. That patient is one that later died, NOT in the ICU, but still with us.
ICU admits are reportedly down, here's the truth why... If a Covid patient is a certain age group and has certain comorbidities, they are being ruled out for ICU potential. We are told they are not to be transferred to the ICU. Numbers are down because they never make it there. The doctors are having "Serious Illness," conversations with their families, trying to obtain DNR/DNI orders.
I will say, sometimes these decisions ARE in the best interest of the patient, but right now, I'm starting to see this on a large scale and with patients we would not have done it with before. Many of these patients do not want to die. Their families do not want them to die. The MD notes in the chart are literally reading like, "During times of crisis, when resources are strained... This patient likely would not experience a positive outcome..." Basically, if they don't think the patient would do as well as others, well, the others are more deserving of the few beds we have and this patient is prevented access. Yup, we're 100% already doing this in Minnesota. Choosing who lives and dies.
So, we are being forced to care for patients who need an ICU level of care, in a lower care environment with lower levels of intervention. BiPap and Hi flow will work for some patients, but often we are desperately trying to maintain patients who are really too critically ill to remain on them, because ICU space is now at a premium. It is NOT WORKING AND PEOPLE ARE DYING.
I don't know what to do or say anymore... It's seeing horrible things already happening, feeling helpless to stop them, and knowing so much more is on the way. I'm seeing our government leaders claim "we have prepared," but going to work and having no support. Nurse/patient ratios are the same, even though patients are 10 times sicker and staying on my unit, when they need ICU. We're short on staff, because we are also getting sick. I would usually be able to call a flying squad nurse for assistance when I'm getting in over my head, now they're all being pulled to the ICU to replace staff and there is no back up. We had no aide on one of the hallways, like so often lately, so we do the work of aide, on top of nurse, with those patients. We're not getting breaks. We're not drinking fluids adequately, too short on time and afraid to remove our N95s. There's headaches, dizziness, crying and fatigue. We are under pressure to literally keep those patients alive, because there's no alternative. And this is the tip of the iceberg...
Please wear your masks and maintain distance if we must open. Follow the rules. I am BEGGING you, please! Please, please have humility and compassion for others, please think about your family, neighbors and their families. Please think about us. Have enough heart to care for people you don't know.
Do we know when this was written?