Crystal S., Haleigh's mother #8

[kamky]

Hey, kamky!

I really do understand what you're saying. Crystal does not seem to be the proactive type on many things, but I don't think it makes her a bad mom, or one who doesn't love her kids. Not making excuses, but it seems she is very submissive and still seems to be quite intimidated by Ronald. I get the impression she is afraid to ask Ronald any questions at all.

I also think Crystal is very young for her age.... She and Ronald both seem to be a bit immature imo.
I could be wrong, but I doubt Haleigh would've been able to tell Crystal the exact times relating to school and the bus. And perhaps Crystal didn't dig for more details because she felt they weren't all that important since she was not the one responsible for handling school.

I think there is quite the double standard going on.... most people wouldn't bat an eye to find out that a non-custodial father doesn't know the exact times about school and the bus.

Anyway, I just feel that NG unfairly blasted Crystal in that interview. No doubt Crystal was already a nervous wreck, and is already quite bashful to begin with. I think she was kinda caught off guard.

Nancy did not treat Granny Sykes that way when she responded to Nancy's questions with "I don't know" and claimed that she did not ask Misty any questions about the night Haleigh went missing. Even though she lives in the same house with her.

Bottom line, Crystal is not perfect (none of us are), but her lack of knowledge about her kids' daily schedule pales in comparison to custodial parent Ronald's blatant irresponsible behavior and scary choices in regards to taking care of his children.

bbm
I agree 100% about the immaturity of the parents on both sides. It seems to me that this would be a good time for both of them to try and be adult and strong for Haleigh and for Jr. But, perhaps that's unfair because they have had a horrible thing happen in their life and their pain and stress level must be hard to bear.
I also agree that Nancy can be harsh and unfair, and sometimes I have no idea why she takes a particular approach. Probably to get the most TV drama. I know that I sure would be a nervous wreck if I were on her show!
Out of all of this, other than wishing Haleigh would be found soon and safe, my second wish would be that both parents become more responsible, that Ron learns to control his temper, and that Crystal becomes more involved with what's going on in her kids' lives.

One more thought - it is very clear from the many many photos of the kids' with both of their parents, and from all the cuddling, hugging, and loving from Jr, with both parents, (from the Dunnes Creek church video), that the kids dearly love both parents, despite what we see as their shortcomings. The kids have told us this loud and clear!

 

[DotsEyes]

NG was stunned tht CS didn't know her daughter's school schedule. Not only did she not know it at the time of the disappearance, she still doesn't know it 7 months later. I thnk NG was simply gob smacked that CS hadn't learned anything about Haleigh's school days in 7 months of what should have been spent asking questions.

Of course, asking and getting answers are 2 different things altogether. I didn't think NG was rude, she was simply struck speechless by the lack of effort on CS's part to find out details of Haleigh's life at any point.

That is when she said "Haleigh never had a chance".

 

[Isabella]

NG was stunned tht CS didn't know her daughter's school schedule. Not only did she not know it at the time of the disappearance, she still doesn't know it 7 months later. I thnk NG was simply gob smacked that CS hadn't learned anything about Haleigh's school days in 7 months of what should have been spent asking questions.

Of course, asking and getting answers are 2 different things altogether. I didn't think NG was rude, she was simply struck speechless by the lack of effort on CS's part to find out details of Haleigh's life at any point.

That is when she said "Haleigh never had a chance".

Thing is people on here blame it all on to "Ron wouldnt tell her things" but really thats absolutely no excuse at all. Crystal could have phoned the school up for answers IF she really wanted to know the details.

 

[KOOL LOOK]

Dotseyes, it's clear Crystal wasn't interested in her children, and by all we've learned, carried on without them. She's young, have no problem with her finding someone to share her life with, but she brought two lives here that needed her as much as they needed the Father. Both families should have been offering love and support working together.

At the time of Haleigh's disappearance, from what I can tell there wasn't friction between Ron and Crystal. From the very beginning, Crystal couldn't answer any of the questions concerning her two older children. She looked bad on video, and after so many appearances I believe that's why someone in her camp wisely took her off the screen. I noticed on NG the other night she has improved in appearance, speech but still the lack of knowing or feeling like it's excusable doesn't fly with me.

It's the real world, children need parents. Not one, and it wasn't just Ron's responsibility to care for the children. Though he retained custody, Crystal should have been in the same town being their Mother.

Personally I would never have been far away from my children if I didn't have custody of my kids. I would be shining the Father's shoes to be able to have extra time with them.

At this point I lean towards Crystal not being behind the disaappearance, but I haven't ruled her out as being the motivating factor as to why Haleigh is gone. There's good motive on that side.

I would like to add, I think Crystal is making personal improvements, and has grown in understanding of what it means to be a Mother as she's lived daily with the circumstances, worry and fright if she's totally innocent, and I believe she's more likely than not innocent of taking Haleigh. I believe Ron and Crystal will be better parents in the future and grow to appreciate the lives of their children are precious. I wouldn't have wished this lesson on any parent, young, old, dumb, irresponsible, doesn't matter, they don't deserve to be victims. Doteyes, I enjoy your posts.

 

[Donjeta]

It is very sad that the parents don't communicate better so that Crystal would have known these things naturally, and it's possible that she hasn't asked as many questions as she should, either while Haleigh was still there or after she went missing. But I don't really understand why the school schedule has become so important. I don't recall that any of the sleuthers here has been very interested in finding that out either. The school bus timetables were wanted but no one paid much attention to the school schedule as far as remember.

Whether she got off school 2:30 or 2:45 doesn't appear to be immediately relevant to how and why Haleigh went missing at night. When she's had the opportunity to ask questions from someone who knows the answers I'm sure she's had more important questions in her mind these 7 months. Where is my daughter? Did someone hurt her? Why are there so many lies? Is she alive? What time did she get on the school bus?

If I was a parent living far away from my children and not responsible for getting them to and home from school each day, the exact minutes they spent at school wouldn't be as important to me as whether they liked school, who their friends were, what they liked doing, what was difficult for them, what the were good at, what was their teacher like, if there was any bullying and things of that nature. If Crystal didn't try to find any of those answers out from Haleigh, Ron or the school then I'd think she must have been a pretty lackadaisical, carefree parent.

Mind you, there is one reason why she ought to have tried to find out the school schedule because that's probably the one thing that she could have got a true answer for. They would hardly lie about it at the school.

 

[KOOL LOOK]

Thing is people on here blame it all on to "Ron wouldnt tell her things" but really thats absolutely no excuse at all. Crystal could have phoned the school up for answers IF she really wanted to know the details.

Exactly. These children were tender young. She had no business moving out of town and not be there for them daily. Just because you don't have custody, doesn't mean you can't do extra curricular activities, enjoy extra time and be available for them. She would have been allowed to attend all school functions even without Ron's permission or knowledge. Teachers would have talked with her concerning Haleigh's performance and goals. She could have enjoyed daily phone visitation in which Haleigh as a natural 4 year old would do fill her in daily on all kinds of things surrounding the days.

I saw her and Ron in the beginning get along together and helping console each other. I don't think she or Ron were the rreasons for any division that followed later on, I believe it was others who caused the division lines. Which is a shame.

I hope we'll hear one day that she and Ron are communicating, if not already on a mature friendly manner. I would like to see Ron and Crystal together on Nancy's show, coming together in unity.

 

[Donjeta]

Exactly. These children were tender young. She had no business moving out of town and not be there for them daily. Just because you don't have custody, doesn't mean you can't do extra curricular activities, enjoy extra time and be available for them. She would have been allowed to attend all school functions even without Ron's permission or knowledge. Teachers would have talked with her concerning Haleigh's performance and goals. She could have enjoyed daily phone visitation in which Haleigh as a natural 4 year old would do fill her in daily on all kinds of things surrounding the days.

I saw her and Ron in the beginning get along together and helping console each other. I don't think she or Ron were the rreasons for any division that followed later on, I believe it was others who caused the division lines. Which is a shame.

I hope we'll hear one day that she and Ron are communicating, if not already on a mature friendly manner. I would like to see Ron and Crystal together on Nancy's show, coming together in unity.

BBM. I agree that it's usually far better to live close to your kids than far from them but phones do work in Baker county too. And even if you live next door your ex might not be willing to let you talk to the kids daily.

 

[Pondering Mind]

It is very sad that the parents don't communicate better so that Crystal would have known these things naturally, and it's possible that she hasn't asked as many questions as she should, either while Haleigh was still there or after she went missing. But I don't really understand why the school schedule has become so important. I don't recall that any of the sleuthers here has been very interested in finding that out either. The school bus timetables were wanted but no one paid much attention to the school schedule as far as remember.

Whether she got off school 2:30 or 2:45 doesn't appear to be immediately relevant to how and why Haleigh went missing at night. When she's had the opportunity to ask questions from someone who knows the answers I'm sure she's had more important questions in her mind these 7 months. Where is my daughter? Did someone hurt her? Why are there so many lies? Is she alive? What time did she get on the school bus?

If I was a parent living far away from my children and not responsible for getting them to and home from school each day, the exact minutes they spent at school wouldn't be as important to me as whether they liked school, who their friends were, what they liked doing, what was difficult for them, what the were good at, what was their teacher like, if there was any bullying and things of that nature. If Crystal didn't try to find any of those answers out from Haleigh, Ron or the school then I'd think she must have been a pretty lackadaisical, carefree parent.

Mind you, there is one reason why she ought to have tried to find out the school schedule because that's probably the one thing that she could have got a true answer for. They would hardly lie about it at the school.

ITA with you Donjeta...Granted, IMO neither parent put the children first and much should have been done differently. That said..HaLeigh had just started school ...what, probably 6-7 mths prior to her disappearance? If she could tell time yet I would be shocked and I highly doubt that the exact time the school bus came and let out would be what Crystal would be asking HaLeigh about when she saw her only every other weekend.

 

[elle1919]

Without quoting anyone's post I just want to chime in with an opinion here. Crystal did not seem to me like a mother that didn't want anything to do with her children. I am sure she would have preferred to be closer to them, but that wasn't an option for her. She needed to have a stable residence and in my opinion she got one. If she wasn't interested in her children she wouldn't have appeared in court and testified before the judge to try and get custody. Ronald and Crystal both appeared and testified and the judge made a decision. It happens in courtrooms all across our country.

I do agree that there was no apparent friction in the weeks leading up to Haleighs disappearance between Ronald and Crystal, I thought they both made some mistakes but for the most part were getting themselves together and perhaps i am naive but i don't think custody had anything to do with Haleigh's abduction.

 

[cajun]

I wonder what caused the change of heart with the Sheffields/Griffis about TM. They were not happy he was coming to search originally now they are singing his praises and requesting people donate to his organization in Haleighs name. Donations to TES is a good thing, I am just wondering what they learned that caused them to make such a quick about face with regards to TES.

TJ did report on that and said family members were not happy Tim and TES were coming back. I have an opinion on why they changed their minds, but guess I will keep it to myself. :crazy:

 

[KOOL LOOK]

BBM. I agree that it's usually far better to live close to your kids than far from them but phones do work in Baker county too. And even if you live next door your ex might not be willing to let you talk to the kids daily.

Thank you, agree 100%. Looo the many cases I know of where one of the parents won't allow phone visitation sadly. It's a control issue for the one being a Jerk to the other parent, it's called in forensic psychology adult/adult conflict. Always keeping the child in the conflict. Now if a parent was calling all hours of the night, that would be understandble to place boundaries for such types of behaviors.

I've never heard of Ron not allowing Crystal to enjoy phone visitation with her children. I also lean towards my thinking that if he wouldn't allow her too, she would have said so especially on live tv when she was being confronted with questions concerning the children that every Mother should know, it would be a given she would be using this as an excuse. Or even a good legitimate reason if Ron was being a Jerk about phone calls if she never did any aggravating behaviors to loose this ability.

I don't want to beat up on Crystal, not my style to bully or slander someone not here to defend themselves, so I don't want to go on and on ad nauseum like I see going on concerning Ron and his family. I would tell Crystal to her face that she should have used this tool in keeping up with her children and in the future utilize it with JR. during the week whenever possible. If learning Ron wouldn't allow her, then I would be glad to vice versa inform him unless he had good merit, he is in the wrong to treat the Mother of the children this way.

Maybe Crystal is talking with Jr. frequently during the week, that would be a big plus for her and the babe, hope so.

 

[PorcineGranny]

Since so many have come down on Crystal, I want to add something ....I think Crystal loves her children fiercely. The fact that she wasn't aware of what minute Haileigh got home is of no difference. I see it as another type of situation,I think the situation is so complicated and I hesitate to mention this, but I understand why she is like that. Many have said she is passive and I believe that is so. I will never believe Crystal had anything to do with Haileigh's disappearance. Shes not perfect, but no one is and my heart truly breaks for her. May angels put their arms around her and comfort her. These are my opinions and it does no good to speculate on the inner workings of another's mind unless you can go into great detail and its just not important to the main issue.

 

[KOOL LOOK]

TJ did report on that and said family members were not happy Tim and TES were coming back. I have an opinion on why they changed their minds, but guess I will keep it to myself. :crazy:

I would like your input, but if you are un-comfortable sharing, I understand. That was a little weird in the beginning to be upset about TM coming. What was he gonna do but find Haleigh, right?

Guess opinions changed since he did an out of norm deed and helped Misty try to clear her name, and since this wasn't successful and has caused a great public outcry, revealed inconsistencies and lies, suspicion and slander upon Misty and Ron Cummings and family guess his involvement pleased them now. That's what my logical common sense tells me.

 

[Law_girl41]

I understand why most would be upset at Crystals lack of knowledge regarding Haleigh. I heard her answer NG, or attempt to answer. She said around 3:00PM. well thats what the website says too. IMHO, she was nervous, she was guarding her words for some reason. Perhaps the paternal side of the family doesnt share info or told her its none of her business who knows. She should of stated 3:00 pm as a manner of fact, not uncertain or confuddled answers. Because I think that she appeared not to know the exact time the bus brought her home vs, what time school let out. She fummbled thats true. But even I have choked on my own words when in front of officials...that doesnt make me not care or unloving. So what she isnt the brightest crayon in the box,,,,and I just want to know what happened to Haleigh and who is responsible. Although, I wish she would get some counseling and work on getting more assertive. IMO

 

[Law_girl41]

I wonder what caused the change of heart with the Sheffields/Griffis about TM. They were not happy he was coming to search originally now they are singing his praises and requesting people donate to his organization in Haleighs name. Donations to TES is a good thing, I am just wondering what they learned that caused them to make such a quick about face with regards to TES.

I hadnt realized that the sheffields were unhappy at the start of the news of TES coming. I had no idea. wow. What did they say about it Busy?

 

[Law_girl41]

TJ did report on that and said family members were not happy Tim and TES were coming back. I have an opinion on why they changed their minds, but guess I will keep it to myself. :crazy:

thats what I was asking, I did read that one I guess. Did TJ mention which family members were not happy? TIA

I will have to go hunt that TJ article, I may have missed a few along the way.

 

[Busylady]

I believe Crystal loves her children to the best of her ability. IMO she was ok with not being actively involved in Haleigh and JRs lives, she was happy with the arrangement as it stood. From day one she could not answers basic questions that every parent should know about their children. IMO there is still active drug use and that may be part of Crystals inability to communicate effectively when asked questions about her children and her inability to show emotion at times. Hopefully she will get clean and take a more active role and think for herself vs being told what to do and how to handle situations. JMO

 

[Busylady]

I have a rough time searching TJs site for articles but there were a couple, in one Marie is mentioned specifically. One of the reasons given was they felt Haleigh was alive so were angry that TM was coming back to search. In addition, if you follow her twitter and her supporter twitter sites there was plenty of comments about how unhappy she was and even a request for donations to not be sent to TES as he was supporting RC and Misty held the answers so why should their money pay for searches when Misty could tell them where Haleigh is. Then once TM came out that Misty failed the test, they switched gears and TM is wonderful and started a drive to get donations sent to TES.

thats what I was asking, I did read that one I guess. Did TJ mention which family members were not happy? TIA

I will have to go hunt that TJ article, I may have missed a few along the way.

 

[Pondering Mind]

I understand why most would be upset at Crystals lack of knowledge regarding Haleigh. I heard her answer NG, or attempt to answer. She said around 3:00PM. well thats what the website says too. IMHO, she was nervous, she was guarding her words for some reason. Perhaps the paternal side of the family doesnt share info or told her its none of her business who knows. She should of stated 3:00 pm as a manner of fact, not uncertain or confuddled answers. Because I think that she appeared not to know the exact time the bus brought her home vs, what time school let out. She fummbled thats true. But even I have choked on my own words when in front of officials...that doesnt make me not care or unloving. So what she isnt the brightest crayon in the box,,,,and I just want to know what happened to Haleigh and who is responsible. Although, I wish she would get some counseling and work on getting more assertive. IMO

Not to mention the way NG treated her before. She had to know just how impartial NG is in this case. Knowing that and still walking into the line of fire (known as Nancy Grace in this instance) would be enough to put even the most seasoned person on edge. Yet, Crystal had to know this and did NG's show anyway. I give her HUGE props for that!

 

[chesterp]

Since so many have come down on Crystal, I want to add something ....I think Crystal loves her children fiercely. The fact that she wasn't aware of what minute Haileigh got home is of no difference. I see it as another type of situation,I think the situation is so complicated and I hesitate to mention this, but I understand why she is like that. Many have said she is passive and I believe that is so. I will never believe Crystal had anything to do with Haileigh's disappearance. Shes not perfect, but no one is and my heart truly breaks for her. May angels put their arms around her and comfort her. These are my opinions and it does no good to speculate on the inner workings of another's mind unless you can go into great detail and its just not important to the main issue.

And since so many have come down on RC, I do not think he had anything to do with Haleigh's disappearance, just like I do not think CS had anything to do with it.

The point on MZZZZZZZZ Nancy, I think people were blown away by the fact CS has not (appeared) to know more about that day/night than she did at the beginning. I think NG was floored......... I think the bus time was the straw that broke the camel's back. She came across as aloof....but appearances can be deceiving. Then when she said she hasn't talk to RC in detail or MC....I could see steam coming out of my TV.