Just saw this press release by CT local group against domestic violence. All I can say is Bravo to the organization for standing up for women, abused spouses and children in CT!
The (Connecticut) CT Coalition Against Domestic Violence (CCADV) is deeply saddened and concerned to learn of the disappearance of Jennifer Dulos in New Canaan last week and we remain hopeful that she will be found safe.
While news reports have offered the idea that this circumstance is a result of a custody dispute, there is more than sufficient detail in court documents to authentically describe this situation for what it is; domestic violence, the coalition said in their statement, in a press release.
Ms. Dulos offered to the court on more than one occasion that she was fearful of her husband who could be vengeful and dangerous. We know that domestic violence is a pattern of behavior that is centered on power and control.
Abusers use various strategies to threaten, harass, control and intimidate their partner, including the practice of continuing this conduct through the family court process. When a victim is leaving a relationship and taking steps to move away from the abuse and coercion, this can be the most dangerous time.
Anyone who is experiencing or knows someone who is experiencing domestic violence is encouraged to call the statewide domestic violence hotline. Safe, confidential and free domestic violence services available across the state include counseling, court-based advocacy, emergency shelter, group support and services for children.
Certified domestic violence counselors can be reached 24 hours per day, 7 days per week via the statewide domestic violence hotlines – 888.774.2900 (English) and 844.831.9200 (Español).
As I mentioned to you earlier, afitzy, in our brief, (but very awesome WS conversation), CT Coalition Against Domestic Violence was the group I mentioned to you. They were so very helpful to us when we ran groups and individual counseling at the state run facility where I worked.
Then when I myself went through some very difficult times in my own marriage and then my divorce, I turned to CCADV. I wrote them a long letter explaining my DV situation, which they published in their newsletter.
Shortly after, they published a book of stories and artwork done by abused women. I wrote and submitted a long poem which also described my situation, that they placed on the opening page.
The ironic thing is, all the advise I had given to another battered and abused woman, and suggested she move out and move on... I could not apply to myself.
I went through all the stages: Telling myself that he didn’t really mean to hurt me! He’s so sorry! He’ll never do it again! Experiencing The Honeymoon Stage and even the couldn't leave him cuz I had “nowhere to go!” Stage!
Plus, I was too embarrassed that it happened to me, too, so I isolated. But my incident made page 2 of the Connecticut Post and I could no longer hide it from friends and co-workers! (All my Family was in Calif and Texas!)
Domestic violence is such a horrible thing to go through. Actually, physical abuse usually heals and is forgotten and easier to heal from. Emotional and Mental abuse, AKA Gaslighting, goes on forever and feels much more painful.
But it leaves no visible scars and there’s no proof it happened. The abuser is seldom punished. My abuser did both, so there were were visible signs and he was arrested, but was able to post the very small bail and get out of jail.
I just wish more abused women knew about CCADV and were able and strong enough to turn to them for the wonderful help and advice they give.
