I think it’s wonderful when
any loving parent takes an interest in their child’s education, and especially when a parent reads with their child. No one can deny that reading with a child is a good thing, and to be encouraged.
The bigger issue, IMO, that is bugging some folks is the concept of
“competitive parenting”. Parents have always bragged about their child’s accomplishments, and expressed pride and wonder in what their child can accomplish. And children thrive when the adults who love them recognize their efforts— especially when the child’s sincere efforts sometimes do not lead to instant success. That goes beyond the boisterous and ubiquitous, but empty “good job!” praise that seems to be so popular, as well as “helicopter parenting”. This is pretty much a phenomenon of middle and upper class parenting styles. There is a great book out recently (well, 2009!) that examines this phenomenon and the effect on kids as they grow:
NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children: Po Bronson, Ashley Merryman: 9780446504133: Amazon.com: Books
So, IMO, the reason all of this “Shakespeare” talk bugs some folks, is that it is more an indication of competitive parenting that reflects on the efforts of the
parent, rather than
the accomplishments of the child.
And it bugs folks even more, because Dina has held herself out as a child psychologist, who should know better. IMO.
Dina, in her upper socioeconomic group, appears to have been very vulnerable to competitive parenting, and never seems to miss an opportunity to show how
her parenting and the opportunities
she provided for her child made Max “more” special than other kids. It's not about Max, the child-- it's about Dina, the parent, KWIM?
That’s why the Shakespeare stuff and Rebecca’s healthy cooking comes up over and over. Dina apparently seems to feel that Rebecca was attempting to “one up” her by preparing healthy meals for Max—that came thru to me loud and clear in the first Phoenix Magazine article. Dina even bragged that Max was the “youngest” child ever to be on the NY Stock Exchange floor in one of her writings on her websites (I’m not going to link that here, FWIW). Now, that’s fun trivia, but that bit of information is really much more about showcasing the socioeconomic opportunities of the parents, than the child, KWIM? The child is just along for the ride, and hasn’t really accomplished anything. But it does demonstrate that the parents took the child with them to lots of places, so it reinforces the image of involved, loving parent.
Part of Dina’s whole “food nazi” criticism of Rebecca is this concept of competitive parenting, IMO. It’s a way for Dina to engage in tit- for- tat retribution, and “one up” Rebecca. Rebecca was a threat to Dina (IMO) because sometimes Rebecca was another mother figure for Max, and that infuriates Dina (to this day). That’s not uncommon in a lot of divorce situations, and sadly, it seems to be the case here. I mean, who in their right mind would criticize anyone who took time to prepare healthy meals for their child?? Boggles the mind.
The really sad thing about kids caught up in competitive parenting is that the child can evolve to mirror the parent, and the parent’s secondary gain becomes the goal of the parent-child relationship.
Kids as little pawns and trophies. I’m not saying that this is completely what happened here, but it appears to be
part of the story. IMO.
Another example: Jonah chose to make his memorial foundation focused on something Max loved, that was a big part of Max's life. Dina chose to start a "memorial" non profit based on her false narrative that "if only" she had been able to more easily and efficiently stalk the new partner of her ex, Max would be alive. Maxie's House is all about Dina the parent, and her "needs", and
not at all about Max or his safety, IMO. Maxie's House was never about Max at all, IMO. Sadly.
I want to make it clear that I'm not criticizing the Shakespeare reading, or candy drawer, or the indoor stage, or NYSE floor trip-- what I'm criticizing is the exaggerations and bragging about these as evidence of "good parenting", and then using healthy food preparation as evidence of Rebecca's "bad parenting", lol! No one ever questioned that Dina loved Max or was an attentive parent when she had her custody time. It was only when Dina began to TALK ABOUT how she interpreted her role as a parent that folks began to scratch their heads. A great example of how she is her own worst enemy, and has squandered the public sympathy that she had from the beginning. IMO.