serious illnesses and frequent soiling/toileting/bedwetting accidents cause levels of stress unimaginable to those who don't have those issues. friends described JR letting PR fly across the country alone for her chemo and not being supportive in many ways. his lifelong friend said he never once saw JR give PR a kiss or a hug or even hold her hand. in addition to that, there was a more traditional and old-fashioned division of labor in the home. on the 25th PR was packing for four people going to two locations (her words) and watching after her kids and their playmates and feeding her kids and coloring her hair and wrapping enough gifts to fill two shopping bags, while JR's contribution was going to the airport. although you want your kids and their friends to have fun and enjoy their new toys it can be a lot closer to chaotic than calming for the adults. rush, rush, rush. JR had wanted to spend Xmas in MI but PR didn't so they compromised by squeezing in a quick trip there before returning to CO to leave for the cruise. when questioned by LE they both said that she was "OK" with that, but I wonder if that was true. it's not like they could say: yes, she was ticked and it was an issue. after a day like the 25th was, they had dinner with friends which required planning and effort on PR's part, and then they came home and she had to finish whatever she hadn't gotten done during the day. JR wasn't running around that night getting things done, but she was. rush, rush, rush. LE, EMTs and hospital staffs know that suicides and incidents of domestic abuse skyrocket during the holiday season. I think there was a perfect storm of stress, expectations, deadlines and chaos added to underlying anger and resentment.