FL-AMBER ALERT Haleigh Cummings 5 yrs. old - Putnam County #16

[indicat]

Maybe bashing wasn't the right word Sorry!

I just feel like continually pointing out all the bad choices these people made ad nauseam is pointless and counterproductive and like beating a dead horse. If his daughter is dead, should I not feel compassion for him because he wasn't a pillar of society?

My heart aches for this father, he is going through the worst hell there is pillar or not. At the same time my heart aches more for Haleigh who deserved a better chance then she got.

 

[obguthr]

The smoking bothered me too. Anyone who smokes in the house when children are present should be charged with abuse.

I can appreciate that smoking is not good around children, but I wouldn't equate it with abuse.

 

[indicat]

I just got through reading pages and pages regarding what I posted on.

Well, like it or not this is his record. This is his mark on society. I think it gets brought up because as we sleuth we bring up everything that is found.

 

[MCDRAW]

I think that is a normal human reaction, not pretty, but normal. It is a self protect mode. It is too emotionally exhausting to look at every tragedy and think OMG that could happen to me. My whole life could unravel at any moment and it would be totally out of my control. It is much more comfortable to sit back and say they did all of the following things wrong and if they hadn't done so they wouldn't be where they are today.

I agree.

 

[radio]

I know some, maybe many, are struggling with how
to find a balance in discussing this case. I understand.

I am in and out of the Florida scrubs frequently on work.

If you do not understand this area, these folks, lifestyle, etc...
you will misinterpret most of the information regarding their
behaviors, etc.

Lots of etc... dealing with this. LOL!!!

 

[FightTheOstrich]

Ok then go ahead and let him raise your children if you think he has right priorities, good skills, and good judgment as a parent. Just because I couldn't pull up the correct portion of the rap sheet (I apologize, it's just it's so many pages long) doesn't mean he hasn't used or sold heroin, meth, cocaine, ghb, pot etc... (not to mention domestic violence, leaving the scene of accident involving injury, what else am I forgetting). We'll agree to disagree. But he won't be watching any of mine, nor will any of the other players in this tragic situation. Praying for Haleigh to be found... JMO

raying:

arrot:

Good point. His life is in chaos and he tends to make poor choices. I don't believe he intentionally hurt his child but his choices may have indirectly lead to this.

 

[SuziQ]

Well, like it or not this is his record. This is his mark on society. I think it gets brought up because as we sleuth we bring up everything that is found.

And much of his record should not even be listed. A legal eagle can weigh in. But the impression I get is even though the drug charges were dropped, it was up to Ron to pay an attorney and go through court...again to have it removed. Some of what's being taken into consideration IMO, is unfair.

Lack of a criminal background didn't save Caylee.

 

[indicat]

And much of his record should not even be listed. A legal eagle can weigh in. But the impression I get is even though the drug charges were dropped, it was up to Ron to pay an attorney and go through court...again to have it removed. Some of what's being taken into consideration IMO, is unfair.

Lack of a criminal background didn't save Caylee.

I respect your opinion. Plus from reading one of your posts about fog I realized you may live real close to me, LOL. :blowkiss:

 

[panthera]

FWIW, the drug charges from almost a decade ago were dropped. We don't know the story behind them. IMO, the amount of and all the kinds of drugs listed are a bit overkill. Almost sounds like it could have been a set up from the get go. There are a few people in Ron's life we know would have wanted to make him look bad. Just sayin.....

Take the drug charges out of the equation and what are you left with? IMO, the accident charge.

If you want to compare socio economic and classes of a family. Good god, look at the A's. They are so uppity they think they are better and more entitled than everyone else. And yet they are a mess and not by any means Saints.

And along what you're saying, look at Jessica Lunsford's abduction right out of her bedroom, from the same type of area (meaning socio-economic), and it was by a repeat SO. I don't think it makes that much difference whether the victim comes from an upper middle class or lower class family.

 

[cuppy199]

And much of his record should not even be listed. A legal eagle can weigh in. But the impression I get is even though the drug charges were dropped, it was up to Ron to pay an attorney and go through court...again to have it removed. Some of what's being taken into consideration IMO, is unfair.

Lack of a criminal background didn't save Caylee.

Great point How old was he anyway? IMO there are plenty of people who have made bad choices when they were younger and are outstanding people today

 

[kiki the parrot]

It's difficult for me to see these folks and not be judgemental about their lifestyles. I'm not proud of that at all, just confessing it. I live in the south, I have relatives who have different values and ways than I do, and it's hard not to project my feelings for them onto this whole family.

I just edited out a lot of opinions that I had graciously given to you, be proud of me for that at least

I just hope they find this child safe and sound and soon. That is what is vital right now.

I would not wish suffering upon any parent. But again, there is a huge difference between "judging," and being an advocate of children who's genuinely concerned about the welfare of children, and the influences they're exposed to. No need to be ashamed, I should think everyone--parent or no--should be concerned with that. JMO

It is natural to want to scrutinize the family when something like this happens, but I do think so many tend to "look down their noses" at ones who do not seem to live up to their own standards, in every case. Family dynamics aside, they have to be hurting as much as any parents and grandparents are. I feel bad for all of them.
I hope they find this little girl soon, and pray God she is found alive, but it is not looking very promising.

And I hope parents shouldn't have to apologize for having some standards! Afterall, we're not talking about socio-economic standards, we're talking about the safety and stability of the children. And as much as possible, minimizing risks. Parents who associate w drug users, sellers etc are automatically exposing their children to risk. If nothing else as parents, we can at least reduce the pool of strangers, and substances, w which our children come into contact. JMO

OBVIOUSLY every child deserves order, stability and at least one consistent adult. I don't think anyone here would dispute that. It's heart breaking that so many children don't have those things. And I think it's admirable that you cherish your children and treat them as gifts, as I'm sure we all do on this forum...whether we choose to "judge*" this family or not. (*or whatever you choose to call it, semantics aside)

It's very apparent this man has had problems, his girlfriend has problems, the extended families have problems. I'm not condoning irresponsible behavior. I'm not condoning their lifestyle choices. But then again I HAVEN'T WALKED IN THEIR SHOES and therefore do not feel qualified to judge anything about them.

A court of law judged him to be a fit parent for these children. A court of law that had full access to ALL his arrest records and all the circumstances therein. We don't. I feel like bashing these people at this horrific time, is not productive.

(bold mine) Not "semantics" at all. Far from it! The sad part is we're getting a "bird's eye view" of just 2 children's caregivers and circumstances, of one parent-centered, child-unfriendly world. It's not just them. Our children are perishing for a lack of wisdom... And we want to pretend everything is fine in the case of this little missing girl. Shouldn't we be asking ourselves as a society if not as parents how we might better protect our children? Whether we should maybe try to identify some high-risk situations and warning signs sooner? Does a parent need to be witnessed physically abusing or smoking crack w their kid before a child's wellbeing is considered so long as it's ONLY the adult possessing, selling or under the influence of [heroin, meth fill in the blank] or being violent w someone else, so long as, what, as he hasn't been beating or giving the drugs to the child... yet? The risk factors in Haleigh's/Jr.'s situation are too numerous to list. If that's what the law or "court" said, I say the law AND the court's an *advertiser censored**. JMO
arrot:

 

[RR0004]

And much of his record should not even be listed. A legal eagle can weigh in. But the impression I get is even though the drug charges were dropped, it was up to Ron to pay an attorney and go through court...again to have it removed. Some of what's being taken into consideration IMO, is unfair.

Lack of a criminal background didn't save Caylee.

There's the one charge that I can't figure out at all. It's doesn't specify the nature of the complaint...just that it came out of the local sheriff's dept. Any idea? Maybe I just don't know how to read all that stuff.

 

[panthera]

Good point. His life is in chaos and he tends to make poor choices. I don't believe he intentionally hurt his child but his choices may have indirectly lead to this.

I agree about his choices maybe leading to Haleigh being missing, whether it's somebody he previously let into the house or the person left caring for her. If Haleigh was abducted by a stranger, I'm still thinking the g/f may have left the door open/unlocked and he just walked in. MOO

 

[RoseRed]

The smoking bothered me too. Anyone who smokes in the house when children are present should be charged with abuse.

OMG, i am speechless.

 

[Cubby]

Regarding Ron Sr.'s previous drug arrests, do we know if he is drug tested through his employer and was he in the determination by the courts of receiving primary custody of the kids?

 

[Searchfortruth]

I think that is a normal human reaction, not pretty, but normal. It is a self protect mode. It is too emotionally exhausting to look at every tragedy and think OMG that could happen to me. My whole life could unravel at any moment and it would be totally out of my control. It is much more comfortable to sit back and say they did all of the following things wrong and if they hadn't done so they wouldn't be where they are today.

Well said ! :clap:

 

[indicat]

I would not wish suffering upon any parent. But again, there is a huge difference between "judging," and being an advocate of children who's genuinely concerned about the welfare of children, and the influences they're exposed to. No need to be ashamed, everyone--parent or no--should be concerned with that. JMO



And I hope parents shouldn't have to apologize for having some standards! Afterall, we're not talking about socio-economic standards, we're talking about the safety and stability of the children. And as much as possible, minimizing risks. Parents who associate w drug users, sellers etc are automatically exposing their children to risk. If nothing else as parents, we can at least reduce the pool of strangers, and substances, which come into contact w our children. JMO



Not "semantics" at all. Far from it! The sad part is we're getting a "bird's eye view" of just 2 children's caregivers and circumstances, of one parent-centered, child-unfriendly world. It's not just them. Our children are perishing for a lack of wisdom... And we want to pretend everything is fine in the case of this little missing girl. Shouldn't we be asking ourselves as a society if not as parents how we might better protect our children? Whether we should maybe try to identify some high-risk situations and warning signs sooner? Does a parent need to be witnessed physically abusing or smoking crack w their kid before a child's wellbeing is considered so long as it's ONLY the adult possessing, selling or under the influence of [heroin, meth fill in the blank] or being violent w someone else, on their rap sheet or so long as, what, as he hasn't been beating or giving the drugs to them... yet? The risk factors in Haleigh's situation are too numerous to list. JMO :waitasec:

arrot:

Thank you Kiki, you are a tireless advocate for children in Haleigh's situation and are posting such logical posts. In fact I want to print them and keep them to read over and over as I don't have the words to express myself so well.

 

[cuppy199]

There's the one charge that I can't figure out at all. It's doesn't specify the nature of the complaint...just that it came out of the local sheriff's dept. Any idea? Maybe I just don't know how to read all that stuff.

Thats the thing we just dont know. From what I gather is it had to do with the custidy hearing. Kinda looks to me someone tip them off to him. I can pretty much guess who might get the most out of that

 

[SuziQ]

There's the one charge that I can't figure out at all. It's doesn't specify the nature of the complaint...just that it came out of the local sheriff's dept. Any idea? Maybe I just don't know how to read all that stuff.

Those reports are confusing for me to read as well.

 

[SuziQ]

I respect your opinion. Plus from reading one of your posts about fog I realized you may live real close to me, LOL. :blowkiss:

Is it ever gonna warm up here? Tired of freezing my youknowwhat off.