bluesneakers
not today satan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2014
- Messages
- 19,144
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Ya know, I can't either.
However, I have to admit that the toddler years took me awfully close to a breaking point. But even when alone with her, I always walked away. I remember shutting myself in my bathroom and sobbing with frustration and despair while she was knocking on the door.
Was that ideal? Nope. Was it the better of two likely outcomes? Yep.
You don't have to be perfect to be a good parent. You just have to make the BETTER choice, and seldom is that the ideal choice.
Knowing when you are overwhelmed and in danger of exploding is so important and I wish there was not such shame attached to saying "OMG, I cannot listen to another minute of screaming" or "I have not slept more than 3 hours a night in 6 months, I cannot care for my child without sleep- please help me!"
I had enough presence to know I was in a bad place and needed a good cry and time to cool down. Not all mothers are so lucky. Many mothers feel ashamed that they need a break, or help, or even just a good cry. If we educated new moms that asking for help is EXCELLENT parenting and not admission of failure, maybe there would be fewer incidents of abuse and even death.
Sorry for the long azz post, but I also need to say that in this case, that horrific "mother" apparently had MANY people willing to help, especially given her history with drug abuse. For God's sake, she could not properly care for her pets! This was not a mom who was doing her best and feeling overwhelmed. This was a mom who chose her grody "man" and her drugs over her defenseless babies.
I know SM is not fact, but just the way she fawned over that icky guy who apparently slept on the couch while she hitched rides to her waitress job, and barely posted about her own BABIES is very telling.
I am all over the place, so I apologize. My heart is just broken and my throat keeps closing up.
I think I was trying to say that I do understand getting angry, but in Chance's case, he was never loved, never a priority, never more than a means to get attention and free stuff. So she could cook elaborate meals for her "awesome man". I want to PUKE.
Please don't think you have to apologize. You're saying what I think a lot of us are thinking, and any of us who have been mothers know. It gets hard and crazy and scary and you do what you can to deal.
Unless you're like these people. UGH. Just. How could they. I'm so sad and angry.
:hug: