BrownRice
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2008
- Messages
- 4,940
- Reaction score
- 18,415
Thank you for this kind post. We read so many horrible parenting stories, especially on WS. But many of us parents are just one bad judgment call or moment of forgetfulness away from being featured on a post. I assume most parents who forgot their children in their cars, including your friend, always thought how could a parent do this. I still don’t completely understand it, but it happens a lot. And it’s horrific. Sure, there’s the parents who do this purposefully and they should be imprisoned, but the ones who simply forgot…how do you live with yourself? It’s tragic and I truly grieve with them.What would any of us say to a dear friend who left their baby in the car? Something to think about.
I had occasion to find out. I hope comfort is what most of us would give. A young friend, a very good Mom with three boys, called and asked me to come over as she needed to talk about something. When I got there, she tearfully told me that she had left her youngest (about a year old) in the car for 20 minutes on a warm day while she ran into Target to get a few things. She had forgotten he was there and when she came out, her car was surrounded by angry people and the police were there. He was OK, but she was devastated, destroyed, to think she had forgotten him.
She said to me, “Can God ever forgive me?” No excuses, just humility and remorse! I wrapped my arms around her and said “Of course!” and we cried together and talked about faith, love and forgiveness (in between kiddo interruptions). I’m not sure she ever forgave herself though. But I know she learned from the reason (not excuse) it happened (as we all can)…lots of family visiting and she thought he stayed home with his grandpa as had been planned. As in most of these cases, it was a slight change in the routine or plan that caused the memory lapse. Had she been charged, I know she would have accepted whatever punishment the court decided. As it was, CPS got involved and she had to take a parenting class.
She’s a good person, a good Mom. This one big mistake does not change that. I’m not going to ever say “I would NEVER forget MY child.” I’m not perfect, even though I was a very careful Mom like my friend. Good people who are careful Moms and Dads can make terrible, life-altering mistakes for very human reasons. They will pay the price, of course, and it will be a far steeper price than any court can impose.
If the mother on this thread were your good friend, what would you say to her?
JMO
There was a young father, last year I think in VA, who left his baby in his car and remembered hours later. I think he died by suicide before the wife even came home to find the situation.
Kindness and compassion go a long way. And unless I hear otherwise about this mother, I will keep her and her family in my heart and hope she can one day find forgiveness.