FL FL - Michelle Parker, 33, Orlando, 17 Nov 2011 - #19

[Jazzmaster]

<modsnip> I really dont see any problems in the last 10 years, besides the restaining order that was dropped for lack of evidence. I could say MP made that up just to hurt DS and when it got to the courts she couldnt back anything up, does that make it true. If he broke out her window and she knew she was going to court wouldnt see at the very least take a pictue of the broken window to show the judge?

Are you really trying to brush Dale's troubled past under the rug? That most of his trouble was in his younger days and now all of a sudden the last 10 years he's been a model citizen?*

A changed man? *Really? *When? The day Michelle went missing? No wait he lied about when Michelle arrived. *Oh, no, wait... he went to work the next day. That's because he's a responsible guy, right? He did show his "concern" via a brief statement on FB- that's right!

Then there's the way the Smith family jumped in to to help the Parkers in any way they could after Michelle went missing. *That *truly was a gesture of concern. Oh*wait, they never did that.*

Maybe the Parker's and Smith's had some differences but wouldn't they*put aside their differences at a time like that, if indeed they ever even had any? *In the first few hours wouldn't they rush to help, unless they already knew Michelle's fate IMO.

*Shouldn't Dale & his family have been more concerned for the mother of their children/grandchildren for just one moment? *Could you seriously tell me, that if your own grandchild's parent went missing, you would just sit back and say 'how tragic?" *Oh wait *they didn't even do that.

Dale Sr when asked by the media about where Michele was just kept saying, *"Didn't I tell ya?" *and "Why don't you go look for another Hummer the way you did the last time."... Now THERE'S some genuine concern! Oh sure, it was after they went to court. *That's simply because they were never available for comment until then. Imagine that! *

And when the reporter asks Sr if he thinks his son is guilty, and he finally answers the question, he pauses and sheepishly answers "no"
as opposed to all of his more assertive behavior in every other place he speaks. This may not indicate Srs involvement in the disappearance, *but IMO he does NOT believe his son is innocent...
To me, Dale doesn't seem to be much of a changed man.*

 

[luvbug622]

Maybe not rohypnol, but what about chloroform?

 

[Kamille]

There are many, many cases I could cite in which a restraining order was denied only to end in murder. The denial does not mean DSJr wasn't abusive. It means, to me, the judge probably lacked training in domestic abuse. It is quite common for abusive personalities to 'con' judges, law enforcement, attorneys, guardian ad litems, DHS, etc. Lundy Bancroft is a great resource for understanding this phenomenon. (link: http://www.lundybancroft.com/?page_id=279)

Abusers are typically so charming and manipulative most people don't realize they are abusive. To my mind it is shocking then how much evidence is readily available to discern that DSJr most definitely fits the profile of an abuser. MOO and FWIW

Thank you so much BritsKate for weighing in on this topic. I know how well versed you are on it and I always appreciate your input. And I agree, imagine the things that have not resulted in an actual LE report and therefore we are not privy to. Michelle touched on a few of those things in their relationship during the brief time that she was on air during the PC episode. And none of the things she mentioned resulted in an LE report...including the actual incident which prompted her to throw the ring in the first place.

MOO

 

[SmoothOperator]

Please just disregard if this a duplicate article.. I must have missed it being discussed therefor its new news to me..

.

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/loc ... 0957.story

In recent weeks Smith has stopped allowing Stewart to see her grandchildren despite a visitation agreement, she said.

Stewart said she worries about what Smith may be telling the children about their mother and her family. He drove the twins to her home in Geneva recently, but then refused to allow Stewart to see them, she said.

The last time Stewart said she saw the twins they were dirty, but otherwise in good health.

Early in the missing person investigation Florida's Department of Children and Families asked a judge to remove the children from Smith's care because of concerns that he had been violent in front of the children.

Orange Circuit Judge Thomas W. Turner denied the request, despite hearing about Smith's run-ins with the law, former addiction to a hallucinogenic drug, his dishonorable discharge from the military, the completion of a lengthy prison sentence on drug and domestic violence convictions and allegations from Parker's eldest child from a previous relationship that Smith attacked their mother in front of all three children.

 

[BritsKate]

Yeah, but MP is the one missing and probably dead. Just saying. Even if she was one to stir up the pot (I think she even said as much on PC in reference to their fights whilst drinking) she is GONE and under highly suspicious circumstances and the prime suspect has a very violent past and an ex who died suspiciously, too.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Just bouncing off your post, Frayed.

This is another misconception I've seen here and in other threads in which abuse plays a dominant role. Some people believe that if a victim fights back, swears, argues, screams her fool head off (or throws a ring ) then she really can't be too much of a "victim".

That premise is too simplistic for the convoluted psychology of abuse though. Emotional abuse can lead a victim to asclosetocrazy as one will ever get. The abuser uses it to their advantage and often even manipulates the victim's response to make the victim appear unstable, suicidal, aggressive, etc.

A story I use to compare is when I split from my ex and he threatened to kill me. I screamed at the top of my lungs, in public, for him to just go ahead and do it already. Foolish? Wholeheartedly. But I had been hearing him say that same thing for over nine years and I was tired, angry, frustrated and just wanted him to go away already. I'm quite certain I appeared crazy to my neighbors.

In the interest of full disclosure I threw a few things over the years as well. Never at anyone - unlike him. Never to hurt anyone - unlike him. It's the very difference between anger and abuse.

Abuse survivors are some of the angriest people I know. We've earned the right to be. The overwhelming majority reserve that anger for their abuser (as well as themselves) and it's part and parcel of the healing process. FWIW

 

[CincinnatiKate]

quote snipped by me--- "to make the victim appear unstable, suicidal, aggressive, etc...."



In my experience, most victims of abuse ARE already unstable, suicidal, or aggressive etc. which is exactly WHY they entertain an "abusive" relationship.

I do not think it is okay for a bully or abuser to exploit these issues in anyway. I am only stating my experience as "abused". I definitely believe there are many many cases like Michelles where ppl can get caught up on semantics, and the fact of the matter is, that Michelle is missing and it appears that DSjr has the most to gain with her disappearing.

I do want to know if DSjr has publicly said what he believes happened to Michelle? If he has hinted to a personal theory---

 

[Jazzmaster]

quote snipped by me--- "to make the victim appear unstable, suicidal, aggressive, etc...."



In my experience, most victims of abuse ARE already unstable, suicidal, or aggressive etc. which is exactly WHY they entertain an "abusive" relationship.

I do not think it is okay for a bully or abuser to exploit these issues in anyway. I am only stating my experience as "abused". I definitely believe there are many many cases like Michelles where ppl can get caught up on semantics, and the fact of the matter is, that Michelle is missing and it appears that DSjr has the most to gain with her disappearing.

I do want to know if DSjr has publicly said what he believes happened to Michelle? If he has hinted to a personal theory---

IMO he used a fictitious name to publicly say Michelle was an escort and maybe one of her clients did something to her.

 

[uscgirl]

IMO he used a fictitious name to publicly say Michelle was an escort and maybe one of her clients did something to her.

That's a possibility or perhaps the person that posted that got the idea from the Jaymie Adams case.

http://features.rr.com/article/0erRdoXbhscoo

 

[Wild@Heart]

http://pibillwarner.wordpress.com/2...d-battery-and-marines-kicked-him-out-in-2003/

http://www.myspace.com/jediscout2871

 

[Jazzmaster]

That's a possibility or perhaps the person that posted that got the idea from the Jaymie Adams case.

http://features.rr.com/article/0erRdoXbhscoo

Well we know Sr was commenting on other missing persons cases (Josh Powell) months before Michelle went missing. So maybe Dale and him were following cases to pull off the "perfect crime". IMO Dale seems to like hiding behind madeup online personas. Where'd BigCityLightsGrl go?

 

[captdj]

<modsnip> I really dont see any problems in the last 10 years, besides the restaining order that was dropped for lack of evidence. I could say MP made that up just to hurt DS and when it got to the courts she couldnt back anything up, does that make it true. If he broke out her window and she knew she was going to court wouldnt see at the very least take a pictue of the broken window to show the judge?

It seems like DS2 would be sorry and want to make up and Michelle did also... so they just dropped the argument until the next time and then the cycle would start all over again... and this would continue...again and again

So its possiblle that each time they argued it became more intense and this could esclate from verbal to using their hands...either or both.

But maybe if he did this....he didnt plan it at all...and it was an accident.. she made him so mad and something happened but it wasnt planned and his dad and him thought it best to cover it up...so he could keep the children. He still could be a good friend to many and have this happen.
Once the coverup began there was no turning back....again that is if he did it.

JMO

 

[Talina]

IIRC, when this case first hit the news about MP being missing and we were all hot on the trail of finding out as much as we could about their history together ( MP and DSjr), the restraining order was discussed and picked apart quite a bit.

I believe (if memory serves me correctly) the restraining order was granted temporarily. It was the permanent one that was denied due to lack of evidence to turn the temp order into a perm order.

Honestly, what good does a RO do anyway? Most of the time they're worth less than the paper they're written on.

IMO

 

[BritsKate]

quote snipped by me--- "to make the victim appear unstable, suicidal, aggressive, etc...."



In my experience, most victims of abuse ARE already unstable, suicidal, or aggressive etc. which is exactly WHY they entertain an "abusive" relationship.

I do not think it is okay for a bully or abuser to exploit these issues in anyway. I am only stating my experience as "abused". I definitely believe there are many many cases like Michelles where ppl can get caught up on semantics, and the fact of the matter is, that Michelle is missing and it appears that DSjr has the most to gain with her disappearing.

I do want to know if DSjr has publicly said what he believes happened to Michelle? If he has hinted to a personal theory---

BBM

As one Kate to another, I have no wish to discount your experiences. However this isn't true for a lot of women. Sustaining long-term abuse can certainly lead a victim down a path of self-hatred, depression, and mental illness but many women I have met were full of life, self-confident, and vibrant before enduring abuse at the hands of their partner.

To imply a victim is unstable, aggressive or suicidal and that is the reason she is in an abusive relationship initially is a myth in my opinion. Emotional abuse systematically wears down a victim over time - anyone can succumb to the repetitive erosion of one's self worth. There are many professional, financially independent women who have found themselves entangled with an abuser. In fact some abusers even specifically target these women viewing them as a bigger "prize".

I very firmly believe abuse isn't about who you are but rather about what the abuser is.

BBM #2: Abusers will exploit anything and everything to gain a foothold in control. For some women this may be preying upon their depression or lack of self-esteem but for others it could be manipulating religion (Susan/Josh Powell), a previous sexual assault (Michelle/Jason Young) desire of family (Laci/Scott Peterson), or anything else. They learn the victim's strengths and weaknesses, what is important to them, and design their abuse specific to their victim.

http://stopviolence.com/domviol/WhySheSometimesStays.pdf

 

[nobodynoz]

Has anyone here had the feeling that LE should seriously consider searching up in the Deltona area, north of Geneva where Michelle lived? After all, she had a close tie to at least one person who lives in that area, so it&#8217;s not arbitrary.

Just check out the satellite. There seem to be a lot of potentially excellent areas for disposing of a body.

http://g.co/maps/rxgva

 

[Jazzmaster]

Has anyone here had the feeling that LE should seriously consider searching up in the Deltona area, north of Geneva where Michelle lived? After all, she had a close tie to at least one person who lives in that area, so it’s not arbitrary.

Just check out the satellite. There seem to be a lot of potentially excellent areas for disposing of a body.

http://g.co/maps/rxgva

Excellent idea Nobody! I sure hope the family plans to resume searches soon... I believe the wooded areas around the Carter Glen Condominiums (off Goldenrod Road) should also be checked again...

Praying LE finds something soon. The twinners must miss their mom. They are in my thoughts and prayers always.

 

[Evanesco]

BBM

As one Kate to another, I have no wish to discount your experiences. However this isn't true for a lot of women. Sustaining long-term abuse can certainly lead a victim down a path of self-hatred, depression, and mental illness but many women I have met were full of life, self-confident, and vibrant before enduring abuse at the hands of their partner.

To imply a victim is unstable, aggressive or suicidal and that is the reason she is in an abusive relationship initially is a myth in my opinion. Emotional abuse systematically wears down a victim over time - anyone can succumb to the repetitive erosion of one's self worth. There are many professional, financially independent women who have found themselves entangled with an abuser. In fact some abusers even specifically target these women viewing them as a bigger "prize".

I very firmly believe abuse isn't about who you are but rather about what the abuser is.

BBM #2: Abusers will exploit anything and everything to gain a foothold in control. For some women this may be preying upon their depression or lack of self-esteem but for others it could be manipulating religion (Susan/Josh Powell), a previous sexual assault (Michelle/Jason Young) desire of family (Laci/Scott Peterson), or anything else. They learn the victim's strengths and weaknesses, what is important to them, and design their abuse specific to their victim.

http://stopviolence.com/domviol/WhySheSometimesStays.pdf

Thank you for this! Well said.

 

[Breazy]

I'm so afraid Michelle will never be found and Dale will get away with what he's done. I believe in Karma too though and he will eventually get his. I just hope it's not too late for the twins when that happens. Still praying Michelle is found!! lease:

 

[uscgirl]

I'm so afraid Michelle will never be found and Dale will get away with what he's done. I believe in Karma too though and he will eventually get his. I just hope it's not too late for the twins when that happens. Still praying Michelle is found!! lease:

Oh Dale will eventually get his. I'm sure OJ Simpson and Drew Peterson would agree with me on that one.

 

[uscgirl]

JMO...

I often wonder what Dale sees before going to sleep at night?
Does he see Michelle, the way she loved her kids and life before he started abusing her?
Does he see Michelle begging for her life before he killed her?
Or does he see Michelle, when he was dumping her body, knowing her kids....his kids, will have to grow up without their mother?

 

[Pias]

JMO...

I often wonder what Dale sees before going to sleep at night?
Does he see Michelle, the way she loved her kids and life before he started abusing her?
Does he see Michelle begging for her life before he killed her?
Or does he see Michelle, when he was dumping her body, knowing her kids....his kids, will have to grow up without their mother?

Unfortunately, if he's a narcissist, the answer would be no...
Narcissists do not feel guilt, only shame, and think of people as objects...