GA - Man Swats Boy For Grabbing His Kitty

[Lanie]

Physical discipline of children by their parents and other adults has been standard practice for centuries. It's just in the past 20 or 30 years it's become inappropriate.

Reading some of these comments it would almost seem this man beat this child half to death, rather than what actually happened, a swat on the butt. Ever watched a sports game where players slap each other on the rear? From the story, it doesn't even seem like it was that 'brutal'.

MOO, this is why the prisons are overpopulated, and so many kids are in so much trouble all the time. Very few want to do the hard work (and it is hard work) of raising their children, and too many want to jump up and make excuses for bad behavior and over react to everything else.

A stranger has never had to swat one of my kids for anything, and if they were in the position this man was in, I would be apologizing to this man, not calling police and pressing charges on him. When my children were young, my house was always full of kids, and when these kids were under my care they were made to behave just like my own children were. Funny thing is it never stopped them from coming over (all the time...) and even now, when they are all grown up, I still have contact with most of them and great relationships with them.

As far as the man should have done this, that, or something else, I disagree. The man had a pet, and he was taking care of that pet and not letting it bother others. The mother should have removed the child from the waiting room and sat in the car with him, or rescheduled her appointment for another time when she could get a babysitter.

 

[Melanie]

:floorlaugh::floorlaugh:Mel, I was agreeing with you. The breeder up my block is the slob. Nothing we haven't said to her face.

Knock it off or I'll have to pinch you one, Mel.:blowkiss:

OMG - you're too funny. I thought you were talking bout me there fer a minute Filly.

ps: obvs I'm used to the pinchies Carry on....

Mel

 

[AnaTeresa]

I was never spanked by my parents (nor by a stranger) and have managed to turn out a well-adjusted citizen. It's not an either/or thing, where spanking immediately equates good behavior and choosing not to spank creates willful brats.

This really isn't about whether you should spank or not - it's about a stranger touching the child without the parents permission. It doesn't matter if the kid was being a brat. A "swat" by one adult to another is illegal. And frankly, if I were out somewhere and I was "swatted" on the behind by another adult, you can bet I'd be pressing charges. No one touches me intentionally like that without my permission. Why should there be a difference because the other person in this case was a child?

 

[jjenny]

Have you ever had your foot stepped on by accident? Most people have.

Have you ever had your butt swatted by accident in front of an office full of people? Probably not.

So as long as he could pretend the foot was stepped on by accident-that would make it o'key? I don't get it.

 

[Flutterby80]

While I don't want strangers swatting me OR my kid, I really think that you have to look at every event in life as a kind of judgement call. Sometimes things happen that feel unfair and uncalled for. I'm sure this mother did not think it was fair or called for that a stranger swatted her kid. I'm sure the kid didn't like it either. I am sure the stranger didn't think it was fair that the kid wouldn't leave his pet alone or that the kid's mother wouldn't control or remove her child. I am also quite sure that the people who work at this clinic were not impressed by ANY of it. But calling the police? Pressing charges? Oh, come on. The child wasn't hurt. He wasn't hurt!!

What purpose does it serve to call the police? To save another little boy from the terrible fate of being swatted by this guy? Does anyone thing he is a serial swatter? Is calling the police teaching the child some sort of lesson? Well, maybe. But maybe it's not a very good lesson.

I am NOT excusing the swatting behavior...but this was a vet's office, not a pediatrician. The answer to this whole problem would have been for the mother to remove the kid. That is what a responsible parent would have done. I've done it with my own son. It was inconvenient for me, but being a parent isn't always very convenient. And you know what? You only have to do it a couple of times before the child learns that you aren't joking.

 

[Lanie]

I was never spanked by my parents (nor by a stranger) and have managed to turn out a well-adjusted citizen. It's not an either/or thing, where spanking immediately equates good behavior and choosing not to spank creates willful brats.

This really isn't about whether you should spank or not - it's about a stranger touching the child without the parents permission. It doesn't matter if the kid was being a brat. A "swat" by one adult to another is illegal. And frankly, if I were out somewhere and I was "swatted" on the behind by another adult, you can bet I'd be pressing charges. No one touches me intentionally like that without my permission. Why should there be a difference because the other person in this case was a child?

BBM

And this is where we disagree. If it's not okay for a stranger to touch the child, it is equally not okay for this child to be going after this man's pet, especially after he was told to stop. This man did not instigate this situation, the child, and by extension his mother, instigated it. You keep saying it would be different if it was an adult, but you are presenting it like you are just minding your own business and an adult swats you one, and that is not what happened here. It DOES matter if a child is being a brat. If this child had been an adult behaving this way, this man probably could have pressed harassment charges, and I doubt he would have gone to jail had he punched an adult for behaving this way.

I agree it isn't about spanking is good and not spanking is bad. It's about a woman, an adult, who is seemingly flapping her hands about helplessly, unable to control her four year old child. If she can't control him at four, what's she going to do when he's 14?

Too many parents want to be friends with their children, they don't want their kids to get mad at them, they don't want their kids to not like them, they don't want to put up with their kids crying or throwing a fit so they give in to these kids, they don't tell them 'no' and mean it, they don't teach them proper behavior, they don't teach them respect. I've seen several children grow up this way, they are selfish and entitled, now that they are adults they constantly get fired from their jobs (and it's never their fault), they can't keep relationships, they don't pay their bills...it's disgraceful. What this woman did with this child was to teach him he is entitled to get his way. Can't wait to see how he turns out...

 

[Cubby]

The article didn't state whether or not mom told the child to stop so we can't assume she was not in the process of telling him to stop when this man interceded. Did he even give mom enough time to respond to the situation? Or was this a knee jerk reaction by the guy?

The article stated the man had the cat carrier on a seat/chair. Why was it left on the chair? I've used both metal/vinyl and cardboard cat carriers. Neither was too big to hold on my lap if curious toddler/preschoolers were in the waiting room.

 

[TexanMom]

The article didn't state whether or not mom told the child to stop so we can't assume she was not in the process of telling him to stop when this man interceded. Did he even give mom enough time to respond to the situation? Or was this a knee jerk reaction by the guy?

The article stated the man had the cat carrier on a seat/chair. Why was it left on the chair? I've used both metal/vinyl and cardboard cat carriers. Neither was too big to hold on my lap if curious toddler/preschoolers were in the waiting room.

Kind of obvious that she didn't tell him to stop if the man had to keep saying it himself.

 

[Cubby]

Kind of obvious that she didn't tell him to stop if the man had to keep saying it himself.

That's an assumption. The article did not report what the mother was or was not doing about it.

I see both sides of it. There are kids that are well behaved most of the time, but still have their moments. There are also adults out there who are not at all child friendly and are put off by any minor inappropriate behavior by children.

Personally, I think the guy was stupid for setting down the carrier on an open seat, especially with a child around. Kids are curious. If one is concerned for their pet don't just set it down anywhere, anyone can pick it up.

 

[TexanMom]

BBM

And this is where we disagree. If it's not okay for a stranger to touch the child, it is equally not okay for this child to be going after this man's pet, especially after he was told to stop. This man did not instigate this situation, the child, and by extension his mother, instigated it. You keep saying it would be different if it was an adult, but you are presenting it like you are just minding your own business and an adult swats you one, and that is not what happened here. It DOES matter if a child is being a brat. If this child had been an adult behaving this way, this man probably could have pressed harassment charges, and I doubt he would have gone to jail had he punched an adult for behaving this way.

I agree it isn't about spanking is good and not spanking is bad. It's about a woman, an adult, who is seemingly flapping her hands about helplessly, unable to control her four year old child. If she can't control him at four, what's she going to do when he's 14?

Too many parents want to be friends with their children, they don't want their kids to get mad at them, they don't want their kids to not like them, they don't want to put up with their kids crying or throwing a fit so they give in to these kids, they don't tell them 'no' and mean it, they don't teach them proper behavior, they don't teach them respect. I've seen several children grow up this way, they are selfish and entitled, now that they are adults they constantly get fired from their jobs (and it's never their fault), they can't keep relationships, they don't pay their bills...it's disgraceful. What this woman did with this child was to teach him he is entitled to get his way. Can't wait to see how he turns out...

I see it far too often in my job. It's going to be "Lord of the Flies" when these kids grow up!

 

[Cubby]

Additionally, what message does it teach this child if a stranger put his hand on privates. Yes, to a 4 yr old a bum/butt is private. While we adults get it, when trying to enforce good touch bad touch, it would be extremely difficult for a 4 yr old to distinguish what is inappropriate or not. Especially when it comes to grooming.

For all we know this guy could have been a sicko who deliberately set down the carrier as bait so he could get a chance to put his hand on the kids fanny. A bit of a leap maybe, but the guy is a STRANGER so we don't know.

 

[TexanMom]

That's an assumption. The article did not report what the mother was or was not doing about it.

I see both sides of it. There are kids that are well behaved most of the time, but still have their moments. There are also adults out there who are not at all child friendly and are put off by any minor inappropriate behavior by children.

Personally, I think the guy was stupid for setting down the carrier on an open seat, especially with a child around. Kids are curious. If one is concerned for their pet don't just set it down anywhere, anyone can pick it up.

The mom should have been watching her child. You don't let your child wander around in a vet waiting area touching other people's pets! That's just common sense!

 

[Cubby]

The mom should have been watching her child. You don't let your child wander around in a vet waiting area touching other people's pets! That's just common sense!

But he wasn't touching the pet! The pet was contained in a carrier. The child never had access to the pet.

just sayin'

 

[TexanMom]

But he wasn't touching the pet! The pet was contained in a carrier. The child never had access to the pet.

just sayin'

Touching the carrier, whatever! He was obviously distressing the pet and that's why the man was angry!

 

[Cubby]

Touching the carrier, whatever! He was obviously distressing the pet and that's why the man was angry!

He was distressing the pets owner. The article states the boy reached for the carrier. No where does it indicate the child ever laid a finger on the carrier.

 

[TexanMom]

And from the article:

The mother told an officer that “she was having trouble controlling her son,” the police report said.

This is when you take said child and go wait in the car! I did this when my son acted up. Why inconvenience others when you can't "control" your child?

The child DID touch the carrier:

but the boy grabbed hold of the cage and tried to pull it off a chair.

If it were me I would have gone ballistic on the mom!

 

[TexanMom]

He was distressing the pets owner. The article states the boy reached for the carrier. No where does it indicate the child ever laid a finger on the carrier.

That's when the mother should have removed her child from the waiting area!

 

[jjenny]

He was distressing the pets owner. The article states the boy reached for the carrier. No where does it indicate the child ever laid a finger on the carrier.

That's not correct. The owner says that the kid did grabbed hold of the carrier and tried to pull it off the chair. This cat just had surgery. I wouldn't be happy if somebody tried to do that to my pet.

 

[SwampMama]

LOL, maybe Opra was right when she said that it takes a village to raise a child. Maybe the mother should have been required to put the brat in a carrier.

Sadly, most often, it takes a village to raise an idiot's child. Or a breeder's child, or a negligent parent's child.

As for my child, it only took his parents and parenting skills to raise him. And of course his wonderful gram.

 

[gitana1]

I kind of sympathize a bit with the man. He's probably from the old school when people could hit each other's kids and not be committing a crime or an offense one could be sued over. He probably didn't think too hard about it and just reacted.

But I am frankly astounded that so many people think he was justified or that it is okay for a stranger to use physical force on someone else's child. Like many have said, you can't go around slapping adults whose behavior is bad. Why is it okay to hit a random child whose behavior is bad? Children have rights to be free from a stranger assaulting them in the same way adults do.

And someone posted that until 20 or 30 years ago, physical discipline was okay. It's only now that it is becoming bad to hit children. Well physically "disciplining" one's wife was okay for thousands of years as well. Children used to be deemed the personal property of their parents and the parents could do whatever they wanted to with them. Children used to work alongside their parents all day in mines or fields, instead of going to school and that was okay. Just because it is historical does not make it right.

This is not about "coddling" children. There would have been nothing wrong with the man telling the child, "Hey! Do not touch my cat's carrier again. Do you hear me?" And then physically blocking him from getting near or even removing his hands from the cage. But hitting the child? It's simply not right.

I had a similar situation. I went to the vet with my very scared cats and a bunch of kids were running around right outside the door, banging on it and banging on the windows. All the animals inside were scared. I had no clue who the parents were and no one seemed to be stopping them except at one point, a lady who seemed unrelated. I asked the people at the counter to do something. They did not. I then went outside and said firmly, "Do not bang on the windows or doors again. Do you ever get scared at the doctors? Well, this is the doctor's office for the dogs and cats and they are scared. When you make noise, it makes it scarier for them." They stopped for a long time but then after a while, one of them tested me and yelled through the mail slot. The workers did not seem to care and did nothing. I went outside again and said, "Hey. What did I tell you? Stop making noise."

It was at that point that a parent surfaced and began apologizing and yelling at them.

I never went back to that vet, though. I feel they have an obligation to try to make things quieter and to control their clients. (That was not the only noise that day).

In any event, I never once thought about striking one of those kids. That's simply not appropriate.

So, should this guy be sued? Nah, I don't think he was malicious and he probably acted on instinct. Misguided yes, but mom made huge mistakes that day too. The mother should have controlled her kid. When that didn't work she should have taken him outside. Since she didn't and a stranger lost his cool, she should have said, "I'm very sorry for my child's behavior but it is not okay to hit someone else's kid." But, since she wasn't the type to control her child to begin with, of course she is the type to sue a man her child was harassing instead of walking away.

Final thought, I hate hearing how kids "need" a swat or that a lack of corporal punishment is creating monsters. No, it's a lack of parenting that creates monsters. I handled 12 preschoolers when I was a preschool teacher without hitting one and had them under control. How could I do that and a parent can't handle one without having to resort to physical punishment? Hitting is not necessary to get a kid to behave.

Also, go ask all the men in prison today if they were hit. Invariably, 99.9% were spanked, "whupped" or whatever. Inconsistency, apathy, laziness, and a lack of a backbone is what creates spoiled monsters, and neglect and abuse and poverty (and more rarely, spoiling) is what creates criminals, not sparing the rod. JMO.