agreed.
Older men don’t fall for young girls because they’re “mature for their age” or whatever BS they say: it’s always because they’re easier to control and manipulate. Imagine being nearly 30 and having a single thing in common with a 15 year old girl!
Statistically, the single most dangerous time for a woman experiencing domestic abuse of any kind is during pregnancy and when the baby is young. It’s why, in the UK at least, expectant mothers are now asked privately if they are experiencing any abuse at every appointment. It’s common and preventable enough that such a thing has become a routine policy.
Sometimes contact phone numbers are given in the form of a barcode sticker, so they can be safely placed somewhere like on a book or magazine should the woman need it. Because if the man finds their partner has any plans to leave, the woman is at drastically increased risk of murder - as it seems may have been the case here, with Caroline searching for hotels.
It’s a hidden world that most men and any woman in a healthy relationship will have little idea about, but trained professionals know how to identify those at risk, are constantly on the look out and should be positioned to help.
Her having PND, and her apparently attending therapy *with* her husband should also have increased the red flags.
If the therapist also had information regarding the husband and eg, substance abuse or addiction, more red flags. Enough to make some pretty red bunting, I suspect.
Obviously none of these things on their own, or even combined conclusively point to domestic abuse, and I’m not suggesting any of them are morally wrong or suspicious alone. But DV and DA does generally follow a recognisable pattern, and had somebody been joining up all the puzzle pieces in Caroline’s case, they might have been able to help her leave safely.
None of this makes it anyone’s “fault” except the killer’s, of course. But just as when a child is killed by family we review the agencies and professionals involved, it’s important to reflect on what happened in cases like this so we can look for opportunities to intervene sooner in other similar cases in future.
[For anyone reading this who might be in a similar situation: there are lots of agencies and support out there who can help you make a safe exit plan. Trying to leave is a notoriously dangerous time for women in abusive relationships.
Also, if a man ever chokes or puts his hands around your neck, statistically he is now significantly more likely to murder you at the next escalation. Get out. Stay safe.]
that Lydia didn’t fall off the bed. A crawling 11 month old is like lightning! Did he do most of the staging and taping himself up then put her there at the last minute? Or did he not care if she tumbled off and got hurt?
