*"I abused*& sold drugs"

[jilly]

Humiliation was never an option in my home either....but the belt was...that's what I got, and I was an only child, no one to share the pain with...I would have rather encountered humiliation ANY day than the belt...but like I said, I am a former drug addict...there was no sense of humiliation at all...in fact, dare I say, I and my addict friends I hung around were PROUD of our predicament, looking down at non-addicts and thinking how vanilla they were...never realizing that we were the ones to be pitied(sp?)...but I am willing to bet this action made this teenager all the more appealing instead of someone to shake your head at and feel sorry for.

I hear ya!

 

[Masterj]

Humiliation was never an option in my home either....but the belt was...that's what I got, and I was an only child, no one to share the pain with...I would have rather encountered humiliation ANY day than the belt...but like I said, I am a former drug addict...there was no sense of humiliation at all...in fact, dare I say, I and my addict friends I hung around were PROUD of our predicament, looking down at non-addicts and thinking how vanilla they were...never realizing that we were the ones to be pitied(sp?)...but I am willing to bet this action made this teenager all the more appealing instead of someone to shake your head at and feel sorry for.

Thanks for your honest post.

 

[GlitchWizard]

Clearly he already knew who before the sandwich board, yes?

Yes. I wasn't talking about HIM being Johnny. I meant the person reading his advertisement.


And for whomever said teens are hard to humiliate - don't forget, the tough acts are just acts. Even the ones who seem tough can be very, very insecure and scared on the inside.

 

[gman20001969]

Humiliation is a tough teacher.

 

[tybee204]

All I have to say is wearing a sandwich board is alot less humiliating then being arrested and sent to prison on possesion with intent to distribute charges.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

Knoxville father makes boy wear sign as punishment for using drugs

"I would like to say that I'm not out here doing this to humiliate my son,' the dad said. "I'm doing this because*I love him. We do have an extreme drug problem in America, and maybe it's time for extreme measures that parents need to take to monitor this problem that we have."

http://www.wate.com/Global/story.asp?S=6390423

I lean towards agreeing to this punishment.

I disagree completely. This guy has no idea what he's up against and if he thinks he can accomplish anything but this, I think he's sadly mistaken. What about rehab? What about seeing a professional? What makes him think that he can accomplish something so easily? If his son was really abusing drugs, and selling them to other kids, it needs to be handled by the police and by putting the kid where he can be treated.

 

[Masterj]

The thing I can't wrap my head around is how in hell does a 14 year old boy get his hands on Oxy Contin???? Did he steal it from his parents? Is there another kid dealing Oxy Contin in school? Oxy Contin is far more dangerous and addictive than pot, IMO.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

The thing I can't wrap my head around is how in hell does a 14 year old boy get his hands on Oxy Contin???? Did he steal it from his parents? Is there another kid dealing Oxy Contin in school? Oxy Contin is far more dangerous and addictive than pot, IMO.

I saw a television program about a kid who bought it on the internet. Its very scarey to even think about. Its deadly. I hope this boy's parents take this more seriously than I think they are.

 

[tybee204]

I disagree completely. This guy has no idea what he's up against and if he thinks he can accomplish anything but this, I think he's sadly mistaken. What about rehab? What about seeing a professional? What makes him think that he can accomplish something so easily? If his son was really abusing drugs, and selling them to other kids, it needs to be handled by the police and by putting the kid where he can be treated.

Most people cant afford rehab. It runs from 10 to 30k a month. Unfortunatly rehab is not an option for most. Rarely does a child end up somehwre he can be treated when the LE path is taken. The kid just ends up in jail or a Juvinal facility learning more bad habits and behavoirs.

This father is doing what he thinks necessary to get his son on a better path. Some can call it humiliation others can call it making the child take responsibility and owning his actions.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

Most people cant afford rehab. It runs from 10 to 30k a month. Unfortunatly rehab is not an option for most. Rarely does a child end up somehwre he can be treated when the LE path is taken. The kid just ends up in jail or a Juvinal facility learning more bad habits and behavoirs.

This father is doing what he thinks necessary to get his son on a better path. Some can call it humiliation others can call it making the child take responsibility and owning his actions.

I'm sure you're right, but the kid who sells drugs to mine better have some sort of insurance, cause I'm going to put a hurtin on him!!!!!

 

[Straitfan]

Most people cant afford rehab. It runs from 10 to 30k a month. Unfortunatly rehab is not an option for most. Rarely does a child end up somehwre he can be treated when the LE path is taken. The kid just ends up in jail or a Juvinal facility learning more bad habits and behavoirs.

This father is doing what he thinks necessary to get his son on a better path. Some can call it humiliation others can call it making the child take responsibility and owning his actions.

I totally agree tybee204. Have friend that has pd over $100,000 out of the family's pocket to help their son and sadly hasn't changed anything. Parents have to seriously be on top of their kids, do whatever works.
Also to parents who wonder has 14 yr olds are getting drugs such as Oxycotin, if you have kids in hs you might ought to pay very close attention. The drugs in schools are much, much, much worse than the average person thinks and it is not just the "bad kids" the good ones are getting involved as well. Just because a child appears ok , good etc means nothing these, alot of kids are very good at covering up.

 

[White Rain]

All I have to say is wearing a sandwich board is alot less humiliating then being arrested and sent to prison on possesion with intent to distribute charges.

I have to disagree with you, only in my own opinion, because I have been there/done that as they say. I am a reformed drug addict, and like I said in a previous post, myself and the drug addicts I hung around looked down on others, (clean, strait up folks) not ourselves, and although that was some messed up thinking we did it.
Also I just did three days in the jail system for disorderly conduct and I can tell you that while I encountered many drug addicts/drug dealers in there, not one of them seemed humiliated about their predicament. Compared to wife beaters/child molesters, etc...drug dealers have a pretty high standing in jail, and there is NO shame for them.

 

[Straitfan]

White Rain,
I dont think there is shame anywhere when it comes to people doing/selling drugs. I as a parent, know what worked with my 2 boys, there is no "across the board" answer as all people including one's involved in drugs behave different and react different. I am "one" of those parents who listened to horror stories about my friends kids, spouting off, "oh my kids would NEVER do that" Yea well, lets say I ate my words, thankfully my kids, due to whatever I had to do, which I did! Are functioning , caring, productive people (one just turned 23 and the other 21) Do I believe the stance I took helped to some point, yes I do. One of my sons used to tell me " my friends think you are a b..." cause if someone knocked on my door and my instinct kick in, I had no problem telling them , no you wont talk to him and if you came back I will call the police, these people werent threaten to me just had bad feeling and my kids knew their mom would call the police , bottom line whatever it takes.. My two boys are a blessing to my now and I love them with all my heart. They treat others with respect and do what is right, would they have if I just let what ever happen, who knows!?!?

 

[White Rain]

White Rain,
I dont think there is shame anywhere when it comes to people doing/selling drugs. I as a parent, know what worked with my 2 boys, there is no "across the board" answer as all people including one's involved in drugs behave different and react different. I am "one" of those parents who listened to horror stories about my friends kids, spouting off, "oh my kids would NEVER do that" Yea well, lets say I ate my words, thankfully my kids, due to whatever I had to do, which I did! Are functioning , caring, productive people (one just turned 23 and the other 21) Do I believe the stance I took helped to some point, yes I do. One of my sons used to tell me " my friends think you are a b..." cause if someone knocked on my door and my instinct kick in, I had no problem telling them , no you wont talk to him and if you came back I will call the police, these people werent threaten to me just had bad feeling and my kids knew their mom would call the police , bottom line whatever it takes.. My two boys are a blessing to my now and I love them with all my heart. They treat others with respect and do what is right, would they have if I just let what ever happen, who knows!?!?

I don't fault you, or the parents/parent who will do ANYTHING, even sandwich-boarding their kid, to try and get them to walk the line, keep them from straying in life. And I really don't condemn this parent (who is the topic of the thread) from trying ANYTHING that they felt was nescessary (sp?).
I didn't try ANY drug until I was 20 years old...which was pot believe or not...and didn't get addicted to drugs until I was 25 years old...I used to be one of those who would wonder why ANYONE would EVER snort drugs up their nose...how they could waste their money when there are so many other things they could spend that money on...and I remember looking at pics of people with nose cartilage gone from snorting so much and thinking "I would NEVER" do that, and how could anyone do that...and then I got drunk at a party one night and decided to snort some methamphetamine(ice) and from that point on it was over...there was nothing in this world that got rid of my painful past/childhood like meth. Suddenly what happened in my childhood no longer mattered, it didn't hurt anymore, and so became my passion for meth. It's the only time I felt normal, oblivious to what happened in the past. Suddenly I found a cure for my painful childhood. Nothing mattered anymore...I could think of the worst thing that happened, (domestic violence, child molestation by a family member, etc...) and not care at all...the meth just took all the emotional pain away. I felt like finally, even after rx drugs like lexapro, effexor, etc (that didn't work) I had found a cure....and finally after 25 years I was FINALLY able to slowly start letting out my inner demons through drugs...things I couldn't talk about before (even with therapists) I had no problem discussing now....only through meth (and I am NOT advocating it) could I find some release.
I am a little off topic here I guess....what I really wanted to say is that as a recovering addict, and having been through so much and seeing how drugs might make you feel, I don't feel like humiliation works. It sure wouldn't work for me. I am clean now, for almost 2 years, but almost everyday I crave meth. When things about my past and/or present bother me I think to myself, one snort of a line will make it go away...just one snort and the abuse/molestation etc won't matter...I recently posted on this site and this thread that I would rather have the humiliation than a spanking...now looking back, sober (from alcohol, not drugs), I can completely disagree. Physical scars (which I have had PLENTY of,) heal, whereas emotional (my whole reason for doing dope in the 1st place), take forever, if they ever Do heal. Mine have yet too.
You are 100% right in saying that there is no "across the board" answer." What works for some may not work for others, and therefore, I would urge ANY parent to do what you feel is necessary, whether it works or not, at least you tried. Try everything possible to keep your child from walking this road. I know I will.
I can honestly say, again from my opinion only, that this type of thing won't work...b /c I know, if someone had told me "you can do drugs and not care" vs. "you can do drugs and still not give a crap when you're high, only care when you AREN'T high," that I would do drugs. My motto was "If I can do drugs SOME of the time and not care" then even THAT was better than caring 24/7. I used to look at a friend who dealt with her past w/o the influence of drugs...and feel sorry for her b/c I thought I had found THE cure....not only did meth help me deal with the past, it helped me have more energy and lose weight, which was a significant boost to my self esteem,
As I have said before, I recently did 3 days in the jail system for disorderly conduct. All of us would ask each other "why are you in here" and all...and even being clean almost 2 years, I would suddenly think to myself when I crossed druggies/dealers "maybe I should get their name/number, when I get out of here they can be a hook up in case I ever need it.""
Anyway I have rambled on enough, IMO, embarrasement does NOT work, I swear I have taken drug addiction as something to be PROUD of, and drug dealers as someone to be admired. I have looked at other sad people and felt embarrased for them b/c they didn't know the way out.
But parents, please take any step at all you feel necessary to keep your kid from going down this track...doesn't matter if you're the "cool parent" or not...if you think this kind of thing may help then please by all means DO IT. It may work, or it may not, but at least you TRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for reading my opinion.

 

[txsvicki]

The thing I can't wrap my head around is how in hell does a 14 year old boy get his hands on Oxy Contin???? Did he steal it from his parents? Is there another kid dealing Oxy Contin in school? Oxy Contin is far more dangerous and addictive than pot, IMO.

A prominent citizen and politician's older teenage son in my town got some of his family oxycontin, gave it to a friend at a party, and the kid died. This bunch even took the unconscious kid to a prominent doctor friend who did not get him to a hospital. Nothing was done to any of these people. I don't think wearing a sign will help the prominent who get away with it down to the poor people who would get stiff jail time for such crimes.

 

[Straitfan]

White Rain,
I do appreciate your post, I though am a mom, I get along pretty well and am able to communicate with people of all ages. I know people who were on top of the world, great parents, etc that ended up in prison from addictions to meth and while it is over my head the feeling or whatever one feels from that, I most certainly do not look at them as less than anyone, I only feel sad,etc that this addication came into their lives as there are options but noone knows deep down someone else's reason behind that deceision to cross over to that area, but the fact is it happens everyday to seemingly average people that know one would suspect. Therefore, mu respsonse regarding this father, I know my kids, I knew ( or hoped I did) what would work, luckliy for me it did..I took alot of heat from friends saying " you still have to live your life do your own thing, my thought was no.. I have to do whatever I have to do, including giving up my own wants to save them.. I did that, my kids are great now, they have the respect, knowledge that I cared enough to give up anything to save them from a life of he.. They respect me, all adults, and most of all, they are wonderful human beings for themselves.. I would not change anything I did, in spite of the pain, heartache it entailed to reach that point and I do feel very luckly, dont take it for granted because I know m outcome could have been different.

God Bless you, White Rain it sounds like you have had more than your share of struggles, mostly unfair. I pray that God will continue to give you the strength to be what you are capable of being and even though I dont know you, I am happy and proud that you have been able to overcame the addictions as from ones I know that is not an easy process.
Take care and feel free to send me an im if you want to.

 

[Floh]

Outstanding post, White Rain! :clap: :clap: :clap:

i do appreciate you explaining to me what is happening to a dear cousin of mine and the struggles she's having. my family are thousands of miles away coping with her addiction and i can only hope she comes to the stance you have.

i wish you all the best.

 

[narlacat]

Meth is a huge problem in Oz- glad I never tried it- it wasn't around when I was using drugs or maybe it was, we had pink speed for sure-

This guy got lucky with his kid- but hey whatever works I agree- I worry about mine taking the drug road too WhiteRain- even the best of kids get mixed up in drugs- there's no guarantees-

 

[wildTrose]

I agree. I think rehab would have been the better option.

when my son went thru rehab he was actually able to score out in the parkling lot!!! Rehabs not always the way either!!!

 

[narlacat]

when my son went thru rehab he was actually able to score out in the parkling lot!!! Rehabs not always the way either!!![/quote]


Very true Trose- it's the same as N/A meetings- all you learn there is to mix with types worse than yourself and score great drugs- (imo and in my experience)

Little/true story- in rehab- nice girl goes in for pot use- hooks up with guy who is in there for heroin use- leaves with guy who is in there for heroin use- nice girl ends up dead in alley way left there by guy who is in there for heroin use-