Ask me anything you'd like. No, it wasn't a one time thing..although, (like KC) my biggest problems began in high school. I did not graduate with my class (ala KC!). Not graduating in time screwed up my life considerably. I feel at times still very "diminished" by my high school record (and I am nearly 60). My screen name is affinity ---because I feel affinity----for KC! (....I know....I know).
I was raised by a single working Mother, alright. Not particularly young. She was 31 when I was born. She was a very, um....unusual person given to histrionics and I finally armchair diagnosed her as Borderline. I have similar tendencies. I think it would also be fair to say that I have been and still exhibit narcissistic tendencies. For example, I wrote that long thing about my high school meeting. I tend to make things "about me". I try to fight this..but I seldom win the fight. It comes from having a Mother like CA. I have empathy, however, because I am aware that something major happened to my Mother, likely long before I came along that made her "disordered". I'm also happy to report, even though I was a lot like KC at KC's age...I couldn't hurt a child. That's where the similarity ends.
I know what you mean by an affinity with KC---You are not the mother you would be at say 27 or up, that you are at 20. Still she is guilty and must pay. However, having said that......
I was so young when I had my first child---it feels now like I was a child myself. I can't say I only see my son's strengths as some mothers do, as I see his weaknesses also BUT when I was younger esp., I think I felt like I had to protect him from everything and everyone. I was so messed up in the head back then due to being raised by a mother who constantly criticized me while making anyone pay (including my father/siblings) who stuck up for me. I come from a large family and they all knew you do not cross mother or you will pay so that lead to a lot of making me feel like an outsider at family gatherings but if I didn't show she unleased her tongue on me. And believe me her tongue could slice and dice you into shreads, not to mention the temper that went along with it to frighten a child. It finally got a the point when I was old enough that I couldn't be around her for awhile. Only b/c of the love of my husband and as my son grew older (he took up for me), and the new people in my life treating me kindly and moving away from home---I began to heal. It took years and the healing isn't finished yet. My mother changed when my adult son confronted her about her behavior toward me and she now takes meds which have helped tremendously. Now we are able to spend time together without it breaking me psychologically(it took me nearing 50 for that to happen). I finally realized that HER mother had messed her up, and like they say the cycle continued with me. I'm sure I've hurt my children but I made a point of trying to never say things that would carve them up inside. My mothering mistakes will be other ones at least.
And no as I've said before I would never want to be judged by the person I was in my 20's. Like almost everyone.....that girl that I was in my 20's feels like another lifetime.
Sometimes still....I will see a family and think "my gosh...they seem so perfect, so wonderful".....then I remember that all families have their issues and problems and what we present to others is not always what the everyday behind closed doors is.
What's funny is that SP, CA's mother seems like such a nice lady, so reasonable and level headed. Do you think CA is a victim of her mother's mothering or are some people just born with there own issues? Even though SP seems normal now, like I said, we all change with age, maybe she was different too as a younger woman, when she had children to mother. Maybe she did this thing of CA can do no wrong in their family? Now that would be interesting to know. I do remember someone (was it RP? saying that CA was the "princess" of the family and received things the boys didn't). Maybe it's cyclical in this situation also?
I am not shocked that CA wanted others to see her family in a positive light...or that she even glossed over serious issues w/i her family unit to the outside world. What is the shocker is that she continued on publicly proclaiming what a perfect family they are, what a wonderful daughter KC is, once the truth could be seen by all. And that she refuses to
even consider that her daughter may have been Caylee's killer. If she is trying to save KC from the needle then why not plead her case in a different way? That's what has inflamed the public so.....it's not that she wants to save her daughter's life.....it's that she wants her daughter, who the public believes is Caylee's killer, to get off
scott free! That she still loves her daughter is not what we mothers/fathers/public can't get past, it's that she refuses to face any fact that points to KC and wants her back at home with her again.....no punishment for Caylee's death....just to go on like before, with the exception of "we'll make some money off this when you're home KC". That's a sick woman in my book. And until I see GA tell the truth on the stand , he is just like a piece of furniture in CA's home. Just something for her to move around or stand/sit on.
You know what is the d@mnedest kicker of this whole thing? I honestly believe there was a time when KC was in jail early on or possibly right after YM and JA brought her back home from Universal, that if CA GA LA had said the right things to KC......maybe--"look we know that you've killed Caylee, we know b/c she isn't here and b/c your car trunk smells like death, as hard as it will be....we will continue to love you, and will forgive you (even if they didn't know if they could at the time---they should have said it to get the truth), just tell us what happened and we will be with you all the way through this". But they didn't.....CA gave her an out to blame others and told her she would never forgive her. Mothers have incredible powers over their children....CA could have mothered at her best in that moment, but instead...she mothered at her worst. It's all just so sad. CA knows the truth but I don't believe KC ever confessed it to her....how could she when CA's lips are always moving and CA's ears are always closed. Caylee didn't have a chance......KC, without removing the guilt she must own, probably had a tough road too. Just sayin......
And I can honestly see CA not asking KC to tell her the truth. I can see CA leading KC into a theory....working it as they go....b/c in her heart, she knew Caylee was dead....so she had to
NOT hear the truth from KC but lead her into thinking up a story to go with.
GA---if left alone with KC in those first few days----yeah, I think he would have beat it out of her to tell you the truth. But he wasn't left alone with her...he was told to leave when he confronted her......that tells us all we need to know IMO.
MOO
MOO