SEP 2, 2019
Mollie Tibbetts’ family shares the UI student’s legacy one year after her death
Hanging on the wall in Laura Calderwood’s bedroom is a self-portrait her daughter, Mollie Tibbetts, drew when she was 5.
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Mollie offered to sell it to her mom for $5, which Calderwood just happened to have in her purse.
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Mollie was a smartass, her mom said, and a pack rat with a curious streak. Kim Calderwood, her sister and Mollie’s aunt, said she thought Mollie had no flaws; she was focused, hard-working, and amazing with kids.
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VIDEO: Laura Calderwood reflects on Mollie’s life and her grieving process
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Morgan recalled one night when she, Mollie, and some friends were hanging out at Mollie’s house. They were stuck inside because of the rain, Morgan said, and they were playing truth or dare. A friend dared Mollie to go roll around in a mud puddle, and while she didn’t fulfill the dare completely, she did dance in the rain, to everyone’s amusement.
“That’s one that I think about sometimes if I’m feeling sad … it helps to think about some of the funny things we experienced together,” Morgan said.
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Kim saw Mollie’s coming-of-age firsthand, as she works on campus. She and Mollie would meet at a bench in the Old Capitol Mall sometimes, and Kim would drive her back to Brooklyn. She said they became closer as Mollie settled into campus, and always looked forward to their talks in the car.
While Mollie was missing, Kim said in a tearful voice that she would park her car in the same spot every day and keep the doors unlocked, just in case Mollie showed up and needed a place to sit or hide. She would also go to the bench and look around. She said it took her a long time to be able to return to that bench.
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Kim’s son stopped one day to speak to a homeless person. After handing out a Kindness Card, a card with a quote from a speech Mollie gave, the person said they knew Mollie. Mollie would stop and speak with them when she had time.
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In a conference room on the sixth floor of the Children’s Hospital hangs a five-panel painting, capturing the “everyday joy” Mollie found in life.
The large canvases are filled with flowers, leaves, hearts, and abstract shapes in neon colors. The swirls, stripes, and dots covering the paintings exude a lightness that fills the room.
Children who knew Mollie from the daycare at which she worked, as well as kids from another daycare and Children’s Hospital patients, helped paint the piece. Laura said it looks just like something Mollie would have painted, with abstract shapes and bright colors.
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For the children who had a relationship with Mollie, making this art was an important step in the healing process, Laura said. Mollie and the events surrounding her death will likely stick with them for the rest of their lives, and being able to work through their feelings with art will help them remember her life, not just her death.
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Mollie is being remembered through more than just art. Livenow Photography has T-shirts and postcards for Mollie’s Movement, and prints Kindness Cards for people to hand out.
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Movements such as Miles for Mollie are still going strong, and the second Mollie Tibbetts memorial run is set for Sept. 29 in Brooklyn. The high school Mollie attended also has four $500 scholarships in her name.
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[I have] boxes [of mail] from all over the country,” she said. “… They haven’t stopped, and it’s been over a year.”
Letters are stored in boxes, which are scattered around Laura’s living room and office. Cards from Pennsylvania, Georgia, California, and all around the country seemed to overflow from their containers. Each one has been opened and read.
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“That was by far the worst day of my life,” Morgan said. “I remember thinking that I would never be the same.”
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Mollie is always on Kim’s mind, and she’s focused on positive memories of her. Sometimes, when she’s missing Mollie, she’ll talk to her.
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Laura said she occasionally has moments where she’ll see something and think, “I should show Mollie,” then she has to remind herself that she can’t.
Little things like that are what she describes as “sneaker waves.”
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Laura has contemplated the future often lately, she said. With the second memorial run approaching and donations still coming to the memorial fund, things don’t seem to be slowing down.
Now with her sons in college, Laura also has to think about being an empty-nester. She is still working to balance her life, and while she will always miss Mollie, she has things that make her happy.
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Mollie’s legacy is still changing, and Laura said if there’s one thing Mollie could do right now, she would want to let everyone know how much she appreciates all the love people have shared for her and her family.
“[Mollie] lived life to its fullest,” she said. “… She would want to acknowledge the fact that… she appreciates that outpouring of love.”
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