If I Could Ask Cindy, George & Lee a Few Questions

[Pedrosmom]

Do you realize that your daughter had a plan to kill you guys as well?

 

[magnolia]

I truly believe that Cindy Anthony does not have friends to confide in, or friends to defend her because her goal in life was to present this "picture perfect" family to the public. She would not have confided in a friend because it would ruin the facade. Casey has been this way for years, and Cindy has probably defended her for years, this is NOT something that just started. She probably in her own way thought that not making Casey a responsible person was love, giving her everything she wanted and her own way was love, she probably tried to be her friend instead of parent, while in reality the goal for a parent is to teach their children to take responsibility for their actions, and to learn to live independently from their parents. People that do not learn life skills have a hard time in life when things do not go their way, and we all know that happens. Life is not perfect. Casey knew that she could do what she wanted, not take responsibility for her actions, and Cindy would defend her until the end, that includes harming her own daughter, how sad for Cindy, and most of all sad for Caylee, who I've come to love. Why woud an adult defend another adult for harming a child???? It's baffling to me. Even if Cindy thinks Caylee is alive, Casey is a thief and a liar and not a responsible loving daughter or mother. Cindy must hate the counselor she was seeing for telling her to put her foot down, because look at the results, it was far too late to parent an adult at age 22. I imagine the guilt is horrible.

Good post~I totally agree.

It appears CA bought and gave Caylee everything she wanted as well.

 

[Meagain]

If I could sit with the Anthonys and ask a question, I wouldn't ask a question......

Just slap them upside the head like the Cher Moonstruck thing or Julie Chen to Big Brother's Marcellas for not using the golden veto on himself.

 

[kageykaren]

We have brought out all the many things CA did for KC, & GA even when she was confronted with their lies & stealing & for Caylee. CA wanted all interviewers to know how good she is as wife, mother, grandmother. While all this crazy is going on in the house, it makes you wonder why CA never brought up what she might have lovingly provided for son. Where are all there enduring terms for son. I'm only aware of her mentioning his sickness in highschool to descibe him & his relation to KC. Once again like many others have said, martyr role.... Florence Nightingale syndrome.

 

[Twoapennything]

In my professional capacity I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity, among other things, to teach a Victim Empathy for Offenders class to offenders on supervised community release (i.e. probation and/or parole). Setting aside the Anthonys perception of the factual basis of this case -- and I will say that, based on the information released to the public so far, I think Casey was likely responsible for Caylee's death -- I think it is important to remember, foremost, that Caylee is the victim here, and George and Cindy Anthony are tertiary victims. I can't even begin to imagine their grief and pain. Working with victims of crime is, yes, rewarding, but it's also emotionally exhausting -- there is oftentimes vicarious trauma suffered by those who work with victims of crime. I can only imagine how absolutely devastating it must be to actually be the victim, to have inside you that horrific, soul-sucking blackness of loss, anger, grief and rage that comes with losing a precious loved one to homicide. My nephew, my sister's only child, was tragically killed in 1996 in a case that resulted in a criminally negligent homicide conviction for the offender, an offender who was as egregiously non-remorseful and unsympathetic as Casey Anthony herself presents. I can't even begin to describe or know my sister's pain -- it was seriously relentless, God, for at least five years. At least. And, for what it's worth, my nephew's case received media coverage, including from Dateline NBC.

As victims, which I do believe George and Cindy are, I would like to suggest -- and just consider it! -- that our expectations of how Cindy and George should answer many of the (very legitimate!) questions above are inappropriate. By inappropriate, what I'm saying is that our expectations of how a victim of crime can or should process and/or communicate direct questions regarding the crime can be inadvertently cruel and unreasonable, especially this soon after the crime has occurred, and is tainted by coming from our own frame of reference as non-victims (or, not being recent victims) and as outsiders looking in.

Working with victims of crime is difficult. It will be many, many, many years before the Anthony family processes this hideous and heartbreaking crime. It will never resolve for them, not fully. Caylee's loss will never be mitigated for them. There is a tendency sometimes to default to enjoying a healthy dose of schadenfreude when observing victims of crime who present as unsympathetic. I logically understand this -- trust me, I've had my moments, too. There is the tendency to view parents whose children commit criminal offenses as heinous, monstrous individuals who deserve the pain that their child's crime brings. Yes, certainly parenting impacts who our child becomes and, to some extent, what choices they ultimately make. Yet, I'm totally willing to say that the average parents' goal for their children is not for a child to become criminally oriented. The average parent never imagines that their child would grow up to kill someone. I could go on and on, but I do believe, generally, that many parenting decisions are made out of love and protection, even if those decisions appear inexplicable, obviously wrong and tragically enabling to everyone else. One thing that struck me, when reading the e-mails released that were between Cindy's family members, was that at least one family member stated about Casey, "Wow, she sure didn't turn out like we thought she would" or something to that extent. That suggests that Casey at one point was thought to have a perfectly normal and potentially successful future ahead of her.

So, what would I ask Cindy? Well, first, I would tell her something: I am so very sorry that this has happened. I am so sorry that Caylee has been killed. Because, I am. All of us are, yes? I would ask her if she needed to talk -- about anything, any topic. I would ask her what I could do to help her and George. I would ask her if she wanted to talk about Caylee or Casey, and not necessarily mean about Caylee's death and Casey's arrest for murder. I would refrain from offering advice, telling her "I know how you feel" (because, I don't), or insisting that she concede any points about anything in the case. I would just listen.

Again, I recognize why people are incensed by the Anthonys. I do. I'm not suggesting that it's a wrong reaction or point of view. The evidence we have heard so far against Casey is very compelling.

But, you know, coincidentally, I was working for Boulder Probation Department at the Boulder Justice Center at the time JonBenet Ramsey was murdered -- that was twelve years ago. And it was just this year that the DA's office exonerated John and Patsy Ramsey -- there was some pretty compelling evidence in JonBenet's case, too, that warranted investigating JonBenet's parents for involvement in her murder. The Ramseys were villified locally, for years and years, and we all know JonBenet's murder has been fodder for the tabloids since she was killed. Patsy Ramsey in particular was practically crucified for involving JonBenet in pagents, etc, which was ultimately a judgment on her parenting. The Ramseys exercised their legal rights in retaining counsel, and in doing so the American public took this as proof of their guilt. Peter Boyles, our local talk radio JonBenet pundit, excoriated the Ramseys for years, with his favorite tag line being "It's not how true victim parents react." We're learning more and more that sometimes things happen outside the box, and it's hard to roll with the punches when that happens. IMO anyway.

Now, if this thread were entitled "If You Were a Mind Reader and It Was Impossible for Cindy and George Anthony to Resist Your Amazing Power, What Would You Ask Them?" my answer would be a whooooooole lot different! :whistle:

 

[kageykaren]

I tend to forget my own professionalism while on this bord sometimes. Your post brings back a professional reality when looking at the actions of the A's. So nicely put. Stay strong in your endevors. Your job is to be commended.

 

[passionflower]

Are you proud of yourselves now??? and your offspring??? all the lying, cover up, above the law etc.................

 

[newuser]

I would like to say to the whole family:

I am so very sorry this happened to you.

I would like to ask you, "please remember that the world is not all evil and dark. You will see the sun shine again. Don't blame this on the world or yourselves. Take care of yourselves, and please, please stop making statements in public. Is there anything you need?"

 

[Tuba]

In re: the attribution to Cindy on the subj. of adoption. The statement, which is also hearsay, that Cindy had issued those imperatives and prohibitions came from The Liar. The Liar also wrote in her own diary that she knew her life would change in a great way after the momentary initial shock of pregnancy and how much she looked forward to it. Why believe either of those testimonies from The Liar!

 

[zoey]

If I could sit with the Anthonys and ask a question, I wouldn't ask a question......

Just slap them upside the head like the Cher Moonstruck thing or Julie Chen to Big Brother's Marcellas for not using the golden veto on himself.

that was good when Julie C did that---

 

[jon_burrows]

There are so many people on this forum with a lot of knowledge regarding this case. I doubt J. Morgan reads here but maybe one of his assistants does. If you could submit a question for JM to ask CA/GA, what would it be?

Mine would be to GA:

When you said you knew who had Caylee and you were watching them, who were you referring to? ZFG? I wish I had the link to the video but I'm sure someone does.

 

[chefmom]

I would like know if, when CA stated that "she felt that Zanny referred to whoever was watching Caylee at the time" was she admitting that there was no Zanny? I would also like to know why, when GA smelled the car at the tow yard, did he not call the police to investigate it. He admitted, on video, that he hadn't liked that smell and knew what it smelled like from being in LE, yet he drove it home and went to work instead of notifying LE.

 

[manatee]

Why did she need Zanny if she didn't have a job?

 

[RevCrim]

What won't you do to protect KC?

 

[zadari]

when are you going to prove your love to caylee ? remember her ?

 

[mommyto3girls]

Questions I would like to see all of them including LA asked are:

Do you believe a nanny named ZG took Caylee?
Are you actively looking for her?
Do you want to see the person who killed your granddaughter/niece prosecuted for the crime?

 

[LucyLu]

I would like to know why we give them the satisfaction of being talked about here.

They're dirt and should be swept under a rug. Instead we have them in the limelight.

Why?

 

[chastity]

I would like to say to the whole family:

I am so very sorry this happened to you.

I would like to ask you, "please remember that the world is not all evil and dark. You will see the sun shine again. Don't blame this on the world or yourselves. Take care of yourselves, and please, please stop making statements in public. Is there anything you need?"

This is what I would like to say to them. I know a lot of things that they have done and said are horrible, but I still can not imagine the pain they must be in. After all is said and done, when they turn out the lights at night, the memories are still with them.

 

[marla]

Cindy, George ..
How in the world could you go 31 days without talking to or seeing your granddaughter and NOT call LE???

:slap: Shame on the two of you .. :slap:

 

[Gypsy Road]

What would I ask the Anthonys?

Who dropped all y'all on your head when you were infants?