In her shoes...

[RR0004]

I've tried putting myself in Casey's shoes by giving her the benefit of the doubt those first few days...but the moment I realized she was telling nothing but lies-when her daughter's life was at stake- I couldn't for one second imagine being her. There are certain instincts that a mother has...and Casey didn't come close to demonstrating any one of them.

 

[RR0004]

There was no reason for Casey to go to Cindy for help. This was a deliberate, conscious, premeditated murder by Casey - not an accidental death. She killed Caylee in cold blood.

Casey wanted to be rid of Caylee, totally. She didn't want her mother to have her, Casey was jealous of the attention that Cindy gave to Caylee. In Casey's world it was ME ME ME ME. Caylee was growing up and was taking more of Cindy's attention and Casey was not going to have that.

Hey, we're pretending, right?

 

[twomanywords]

I think all of you have eloquently stated what should be the prosecutions closing arguments/statements...

As a mother of one child who 19 years old, I still flip out if I go more than a day not knowing where he is. I couldn't eat, let alone dance, if I hadn't seen my son for 31 days!( I would have to have been medicated very heavily if that was the case)
My mother would also freak out if she hadn't seen her grandson for a month if she had lived with him and was used to seeing him each day.
KC is not normal , and neither are her parents

 

[justthinkin]

I can't even pretend to put myself into Casey's shoes. It simply does not compute. Her actions were and are so alien to everything I know about being a mother. I could never be in her shoes. Nope, can't even pretend to go there.

When our 3 were small we flew to Jamaica for a week, rented a car there. Had a man in a gas station offer to buy our 3 yr. old daughter for $20,000. I was horrified! Wouldn't let her or the boys out of my sight for a second. Later in driving through some of the small towns, every once in awhile we would spot a blond headed girl among all the other girls with dark, curly hair walking home from school. I had to wonder if any of those blonds had been purchased, KWIM? I did not see any fair skinned girls with brown hair, only a very few with blond hair.

To make matters worse, on another day as we drove around, wound up at the market in Ocho Rios where a female vendor there wanted to trade me all the baskets she had on display for our little blue-eyed and snowy blond-haired daughter. I couldn't wait to get off that island, fearful every moment that someone might try to take our daughter or boys. I know I breathed a huge sigh of relief when we boarded the plane for home.

I also remember later telling the kids this story when they were all teens. The boys' response, "Mom, ya should'a sold her when you had the chance. " Of course her older brothers were joking. Well maybe not then, because she used to scream at them if either one entered her room without her permission. And woe be unto the brother that borrowed something of hers without asking. They grew up, and are all close now. I'm still amazed. I was raised as an only child so their squabbling was really taxing to me.

 

[txsvicki]

I think Casey did pretty well at trying to keep her boyfriend, making a plan B to have someone lined up in California, convincing friends that Caylee was with a nanny, and avoiding her parents. I'd have to put myself in her shoes to figure out how to get away with it instead actually losing her child. There's just no way to compare it to a true situation, and I can't wait to hear the explanations of why she made up the story of the nanny and all the lies to police.

 

[justthinkin]

txsvicki, you're going to be waiting a long time then cause psychopaths never explain their lies. They simply move onto the next lie without skipping a beat.

 

[21merc7]

If your child is missing, you call the police.

If you're afraid your kidnapped child will be harmed if you call the police, you hot foot it home to your dad, the former LE, and say "Please God help me, Dad. I'm terrified and I don't know what to do."

If your child has an accidental mishap, and dies, and you're scared to call the police, you call your mother, the registered nurse, and say "Please God help me, Mom. Something really horrible has happened, and I don't know what to do."

I can't get through 31 days of partying and skanking around. I just can't get through 31 days of anything at all except maybe lying in bed, crying incessantly, babbling incoherently, peeing myself, vomiting uncontrollably, and needing to be taken to the hospital. Or laying there unable to speak, or talk, or move, and needing to be taken to the hospital.

She didn't even cry. She partied.

I agree completely. We know KC is afraid of CA so she may never have called her. She gets along with GA so she would have called him OR Lee if something happened. GA could call some old detective buddies, Lee could have smoothed the path to talk to GA then CA and, if there was anything wrong, it could have been handled quickly. If there was a kidnapper, telling GA and GA telling Law Enforcement would have covered that nagging don't tell the cops, because GA would have not KC. If there was an accident even GA or Lee would have called 911 for rescue of Caylee, then deal with CA.

 

[2goldfish]

a couple months ago I was in the kitchen doing something and my husband was in the conservatory doing something -- this wont make much sense as to what happened if you dont know how the house is set up - but husband rounded the corner with no baby in tow and I freaked, I posted here right after actually, I should find it cause I dont remember precisely, cause mostly I remember how I felt - baby had toddled off outside the conservatory door, we're all fenced in with no pool or anything like that but I was running around just screaming baby's name so loud I didnt hear husband trying to tell me baby was right behind him (again, this makes no sense at all if you cant see how the house it set up lol)

POINT BEING that in something like 12 seconds I was nearly terrified to the tip of my being even knowing that there was little to no way baby could be lost (but what if he fell and hit his head, etc...blah) and in that 12 seconds I was already thinking I ought to call 999 (equiv. of 911 here)

31 days? no. not in innocence. it just didnt happen, it defies all logic.

as a matter of fact, after spending time on this forum, if something DID happen to my boy, I would come here and beg you all to sleuth me. and my whole family. get it all out there and HELP ME. cause I know parents are always the first thing LE will think of til it's ruled out. I would want it ruled out IMMEDIATELY both to LE and WS and I would expect you all to do anything, anything, anything, to help my baby.

 

[2goldfish]

When I suffered through PPD and PP Anxiety Disorder, it was one of the worst feelings in my life experience. The anxiety was awful. I paced, could not eat, could not sleep, was in a constant cold sweat, sobbed, etc. This was clinical, nothing bad had happened to me or mine. So, I take that and try and imagine what it would be like if my child were missing, and something bad HAD happened........it would be my PP disorder x 100. I can't imagine how anyone could shop, dance, drink, eat, sleep, shower, have sex, cook,.......any and all of the things that KC did and did with such wanton abandon. This more than anything convinces me that she killed her child.

I think you are quite right and this is what rules out an accident scenario IMO. KC did not act ANY DIFFERENT. no depression, no dramatic weight loss, nothing.

I happen to have a sociopath as a close family member and even that person would react somehow. they wouldnt react like me, but there would be some change, irritability, something. not just doodle on giggling and tatooing like nothing ever happened.

 

[Marple]

If one of my 3 children were missing for 1 minute...I would be hysterical!
The 31 days...is the clincher....how will Jose ever explain this? "Ugly Coping" is a joke

True. How many of us have lost sight of a child in a store for only a few minutes and felt the horror of not knowing where your child is?

 

[coopzoo]

If your child is missing, you call the police.

If you're afraid your kidnapped child will be harmed if you call the police, you hot foot it home to your dad, the former LE, and say "Please God help me, Dad. I'm terrified and I don't know what to do."

If your child has an accidental mishap, and dies, and you're scared to call the police, you call your mother, the registered nurse, and say "Please God help me, Mom. Something really horrible has happened, and I don't know what to do."

I can't get through 31 days of partying and skanking around. I just can't get through 31 days of anything at all except maybe lying in bed, crying incessantly, babbling incoherently, peeing myself, vomiting uncontrollably, and needing to be taken to the hospital. Or laying there unable to speak, or talk, or move, and needing to be taken to the hospital.

She didn't even cry. She partied.

Very, very well said! :applause:

:bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow:

 

[skygirl]

I've thought of this again and again....

I'm 41. I had my two girls back to back, 14mos apart. After the birth of my second, I develped PPD. I never thought in a million years I would get PPD. I had never been depressed in my life. I couldn't understand why this was happening. All I wanted is for it to go away so that I could enjoy my girls and motherhood....

Now, that being said. I have a hands on husband which helped tremendously. And a mother-in-law who lived about 2 hours away who is a control freak and has to be a busy-body. I had the impression I wasn't doing it all correctly-based on her personality. Her house was always perfectly clean and everything was in place, mine not so much. What I'm getting at is, had I not been and adult, in my own home with my own income. I would not have been able to set healthy boundries in the relationship with my mother-in-law, who continously made me feel incompetent as a new mother/wife.(Even though she didn't realize she was doing it) I could not even begin to imagine what it must have been like for Casey to live under CA's constant scrutiny.

Most folks are under the impression PPD only lasts for a short time, right after birth. And that is typically true. However, if one is suffering from PPD, and other stressors continue to surface in ones life, I believe this causes the 'depression' to continue, even with the best treatment money/insurance can buy. You can't make it go away. Couple that with the fact that Casey most likely wanted to give the baby away. She can't send her back. And we pretty much know that Cindy wouldn't let her give Caylee up.

Casey was reaching the peak of her partying days when she became pregnant, she had a great job, and asperations of wanting to do more with her life, ie, photography school, or just going back to school, and apparently had a manager at her job at kodak who thought she could excel. imo

I think she loved Caylee, and really wanted to connect with her (bond). I believe under the pressure of it all, and we will probably never know the real extent of it all, she snapped and here we are.

I'm in NO WAY defending what has happened now. Although she is innocent until proven guilty. The evidence points to Casey. She is responsible for her own actions.

But I can't help but wonder. Had I been her age, and in her situation. Me personally, I would have given my baby up to a family deserving, and moved as far away as possible from CA. And started over.

HTH. an moo

 

[Sammiejam]

If I was the perp and had been accused of this heinous crime, at the last hearing I would have been:

-carried into the court room as I would have had to be totally and utterly sedated.

-howling at the judge to help me find who took/hurt my baby.

- curled up on the floor at Ashtons feet, clutching his legs and BEGGING, SCREAMING, WAILING at him to PLEASE TELL ME IT WASNT TRUE. TELL ME MY BABY DIDNT DIE THAT WAY.

- Begging anyone and everyone to just kill me now, I cant live the pain of my daughter dying like she did.

- Tearing my hair out in clumps and sobbing.

- Screaming at JB to make any sort of deal if it meant finding the killer of my baby.

And more. So much more. I would be a complete spectacle. And nothing and noone could stop me.

 

[RevCrim]

Let the world never Forget.....

Casey NEVER called the Police - - - - - - Cindy did

:furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious:

Checkmate !!!!!

 

[coopzoo]

A few months ago, my 13yo son wasn't home from school at his usual time. I work from home and had been tied up in a teleconference, so when I looked at the clock and realized he should have been home 20 minutes before, I freaked. I ran outside, down the street to where I could see the bus stop. In the first few minutes, I called my son's cell phone, my husband and then the school. I found out he had stayed for an after-school history club (!!). Those few minutes of wondering WHERE he was and WHY he wasn't home absolutely killed me. I was physically sick.

That's a mother's NATURAL instinct...it's like a reflex. I realize everyone reacts differently...but there's no containing that kind of desperation and panic while you go about your "usual activities," IMO...not to the extent KC did. :twocents:

 

[Phumi]

The jury will likely put themselves in KC's shoes as well. I can just see the defense wanting this on the jury questionaire:
Have you ever been responsible for another living thing in your life (child, dog, cat, goldfish, firefly in a jar)? If yes, please exit the coutroom now and don't return.

 

[debbie0604]

I don't post much but you brought a feeling to me with this post.

The other night I was watching my beautiful granddaughter - age 4-.

She decided to play hide and go seek...I couldn't find her. Well, I totally flipped out. She wouldn't answer me.. I threw open all the bedrooms doors, looking for her. I had a fear of dread.... :-(

I think she heard the anguish in my voice and came out hiding from her grandfathers chair.. I almost cried but was sooo happy to see her.

It was a horrible feeling that I had, losing her for a few min's.

There is NO WAY I COULD WAIT 31 DAYS!!!!!!!

I have two kids. I have always watched them closely when we were out, and have always been so overly protective of them. Some of my friends used to laugh at me and say that I was way too protective, and that some day I would have to cut the strings. Now that they have reached the age of being an adult, I'm finding it's time to do that.

But no loving, nurturing mother can withstand the torture of not knowing where their child is. NO WAY could I have gone 31 days with any type of coherent words coming from my brain knowing my child was missing..... partying, sending texts to friends inviting them out partying, dancing, cooking for a boyfriend, getting a tattoo (a good life :furious...and making up lies about where my child was. I know for a fact I would call LE immediately and be in a panic.

 

[zippitydoda]

I should have added another thought that really, really troubles me....

not only did Casey not call 911 (Cindy did, and passed the phone to Casey who was reluctant and nonchalant at best) but after Cindy tracked Casey down Casey was still reluctant to go and telling Cindy that she would BUT she was going to come right back (to Tony).......... :furious::furious::furious:

You got that right. Not only did not report anything during these 31 days, Casey went out of her way to avoid face-to-face contact with the 3 people, she had to have known, would challenge her to produce Caylee. The phone calls were ruses.

There are options & services available that could have helped Casey, and therefore Caylee, but KC chose to avoid these as well.

 

[Spangle]

I thought this thread was going to be about the G-Parents, who have showed some grief. I'll play the game, but differently.

It's true that everyone grieves differently. However, nothing that has been reported shows that KC grieved over the loss of KC. Not even after it came out, or after her arrest.

We have seen her upset about her loss of freedom and fear of the DP. We seen her throw a fit, because her parents 'were not listening to her."

Basically, she has shown no grief at all. I remember watching my Mother when my Brother died. She grieved deeply for years. Her heart will always ache. I"ve seen her fight for her other son.

Now, there are those that can control extream emotions when dealing with situations. I'm like that. If my kid was lost, I wouldn't flip out.. until AFTER he was safe. Been there, done that. It's been my fear that something bad would happen and because "I hold it", that the police would think I'm guilty of something. What folks don't realize, that when people do this, when they fall.. they fall harder. And they need more support. But since they "look" so strong, folks tend to think they don't need it.

It has been my thought, that this is what KC is doing. Her baby is dead, but she is now in a situation which she needs to focus. She can't afford to grieve right now. (so she thinks) The G-Parents are trying to do this as well. Folks in combat and other stressful situations have long had to put grief on the back burner for survival.

Since she is focused on the situation at hand, she expects those around her to be on the same pages. (Her Narcissism.) Over time she has moved on to anger. Cause her baby is going to get her the DP.

To justify her actions (everyone always TRIES) she would focus on the negative stuff. Which might be why she really, really no longer want to see her parents, who she might see as the ones who made her do "it." Hence, the ones who are truelly at fault. To CAylee herself and what sick excuses she might have come up with.

She is now fighting for her life, she doesn't have time to grieve. Since she is responsible, most likely will try to cover/excuse it in her mind. Placing blame else where, some how.

I don't expect we will see grief from KC until after the trial.. if then. And if she gets the DP, we will not know if the grief is for her or for Caylee.

 

[hollyhobby1973]

This is one thing I have never been able to wrap my head around with Casey. She was such a convincing liar in the past..well to most people, yet she could never pull off a good show of emotion for her own and only child. When my son was 4 years old..I woke up one morning to find him "missing". I have a bathroom off of my bedroom but always use the one nearest the boys rooms first thing in the morning just to check in on them when I first wake up. I passed by my youngest room..he was 4 at the time..to find he wasn't in his bed. Since he is a chronic sleepwalker I thought maybe he was in his brothers room. Went there...he wasn't in there. Went to the bathroom...not there. Went through the whole house SCREAMING his name..He wasn't replying. I was frantic and this had happened all in about the time frame of about 45 seconds. I went back into my room to get the phone and realized my blankets were moving...he had got into the bed with me at some point in the night. I had thrown the covers over him when I got up and had not even realized it. I jerked the covers off of him and just grabbed him up and squeezed him. Ofcourse he had no idea what was going on..but I just needed to hold him. He is 10 yrs old now and I can still remember the dispair i felt for that 1 solid minute I thought he was missing. So partying..buying beer and panties and working a few different men while your child is "missing"...it just don't jive. Oh..and if my parents thought their lives were in danger from some kidnapper...they would both lay their lives on the line to have my children returned..