Have taken a 4 day break from all things JA. Almost. Can't seem to stop thoughts about the trial popping up when I least expect them to.
I'm sure this is no revelation and has been discussed many times in many ways. Lat night, though, my mind shifted the kalidescope of testimony/evidence ever so slightly, and the pieces fell into a point of view I think it's possible JA held.
JA's past relationships demonstrate that she never acknowledged much less respected other's boundaries or privacy. JA has a 100% track record of being controlling, possessive, and utterly self-absorbed. As well,she has proven incapable of fashioning any life of her own for herself. She is like a formless ball of clay, requiring a mold-- a man- to wrap herself around in order to have any identity at all.
Given all that is true- and IMO, it is, then what was so different about her relationship with Travis Alexander that led to his murder?
IMO the Fatal Attraction--"if I can't have him nobody can"-- interpretation is way too simplistic and misses the mark. JA never loved Travis- she is incapable of genuine attachment of any kind. She had/has no friends of her own, male or female. Subtract Travis's friends and his church/ business circles she relentlessly inserted herself into and what is left is her small handful of ex-boyfriends. Travis as possession, perhaps, but love? Nah.
Come mid to late May 2008, she still wanted TA, whatever that meant to her. Travis was clearly trying to distance himself. Her endless manipulations and "drama," the tools she had always used, successfully, to keep her talons in him were failing her. Travis was going to move on, and without her. IMO Cancun with Mimi made her extremely angry, yes, but that was only half the story.
JA knew that Travis kept the end months of their "relationship" secret, and she knew that he did so because his friends didn't like her/were creeped out by her. The benefit to JA of that secrecy, though, was that Travis was telling only a very few of his closest friends about JA's increasing hostility and bizarre behavior.
If only a few of T's Arizona buddies knew who and what she really was, she could in theory move on herself and latch onto another innocent Mormon guy, her preferred class of victim.
But Travis wasn't just calling it quits with her. He called her a sociopath and a *advertiser censored*. He told her his friends would spit in her face if they knew the truth about her, and he threatened to expose the truth about her- both her sexual and crazy behavior- to her family and to his friends.
I think the threat of having her normality mask removed by Travis absolutely panicked JA. HE would be able to move on and get married, but SHE would a pariah, denied her victim pool of Mormons and PPL folk. Poof would go the easy access to the life TA showed her that she immediately saw as her right and due-- the traveling, the nice house and car, the income she'd never earn as a part time waitress at Denny's.
I think she killed him to silence him. I think she snuck into his house and tried to plant incriminating "evidence" on his computer while he still slept. I think she had sex with him to demonstrate that she still held power over him, and I think that she screamed about HER destroying HIM as she stabbed him and slit his throat.
I think that this trial, from JA's warped sociopathic view, is providing her with the satisfaction of doing to HIM what he threatened to do to HER. He would tell the world about HER whoredom? She trumps him by lying about affairs with married women, spins woe is me tales of tootsie pops and raunchy fantasies (taped for the express purpose of exposing him), and from the darkest recesses of her sick mind, accuses him of pedophilia. Take THAT, Travis.
HE would tell the world about HER viciousness and psycho behavior? She trumps him again by manufacturing her accusations of physical abuse. Take THAT, Travis.
Every accusation she makes outright and slips in under her breath or under the radar is a gigantic FU to Travis. She's gleeful and triumphant and cocky because she is getting the opportunity of a lifetime to obliterate Travis the way she felt he was poised to do to her.
Personally I'm glad in one way that she's so wrapped up in her pursuit for revenge that she's single-handedly destroying any possibility the jury will want to spare her life. Poetic justice at its finest.
