Hi everyone! Im popping out of my lurking closet to add some of my own feelings. While I do not believe she is innocent, I also dont believe she premeditated the murder. Something GA said in the beginning about a lie that keeps getting bigger and bigger has stuck with me. And the reason it has stuck in my mind is a personal experience I am going to share. Sorry if it is long, but I have wanted to share this since "day 31". Just finally got the courage. :great:
I am an Army wife, and with that comes constantly making new friends and getting to know them in an expedited way. We move our lives around the world and begin a new life at each and every location we move to. We are forced to do the same thing over and over..look for someone with something in common that we can pass time with. We get to know people based on what they share about themselves, and often dont have much reason to doubt their stories. We just want to make friends and secure a support system with others who are in the same position. That being said, here is my experience with someone that has given me a view into ICA and her mind.
I met this person through the normal channels. Through neighbors. I was invited to a baby shower for this person. I was told she was having twins, and I found out that her DH worked side by side with my DH. Also, I have twins, so there is a factor that automatically put us on the fast track for a new friendship. As many of us do, we gossip. And gossip some more. I am the type of person who doesnt like to get involved in it, but still listen. As my neighbors were setting up for the shower, I came to offer a hand. A few ladies were talking about the Mom to be. They were saying that she had just lost a baby some months back. The baby was "born in pieces". I thought how awful, but born in pieces? Huh? Really? They went on to say that she drove herself to the hospital, lost the baby, and the same day, came home and told everyone about her horrible ordeal. My hinky meter was on overdrive, but I stayed quiet. My jaw was on the ground anyways, so Any words I would have said would have been less than audible. The wonderful neighbors all pulled together and started collecting donations and even contacted the DH's unit. They paid for a funeral, and gave extra money for whatever hardships she may endure. That's just how we roll, we support each other as much as we can with the hope that if we are ever in need, someone will do the same. Since that particular incident happened before my time, I brushed it aside thinking I may not be getting the right story. It was punch bowl gossip at that point. Fast forward to the twins she was now preparing to have. The ladies were saying they didnt think she was even really pregnant. I thought "No way...you couldnt make up something like being pregs with twins." I have twins and I know how huge you get. They also said she was having identical girls. I could be wrong, but my doc told me he could not be sure if they are identical or fraternal until birth. Not sure if it was just my particular case, or every twin mom to be. They asked me what I thought, and since I had never met this woman, I just said I didnt want to pass judgement and feel stupid when she came home with twins. So, when she finally arrived and I saw her for the first time, my opinion was that she LOOKED pregnant, but not "twins" pregnant. This woman was so much like ICA was with her friends. The always there, and ready to help kind of friend that is hard to find. The almost too good to be true heaven sent friend. Much like ICA was with the group of friends she had. The texts between herself and Amy H were so familiar to me. This woman was good. And we quickly became close friends. She showed me a sealed box that held the ashes of the baby that was born in pieces. In the back of my mind, I had that nagging voice, but decided to push it aside and give this woman the benefit of the doubt. She was due to give birth in 2 weeks. Knowing what I know about birthing twins, I know most docs wont let you go too far over the expected due date, which is in my experience around 34 weeks.
When I went over to her house to help her set up for the babies, I noticed most of the gifts she received at the shower were nowhere to be found. And there was no cribs, just a room with a desk for her arts and crafts and scrapbooking things. She told me she refused to set up until the babies came home because she didnt want to jinx it. Ok, fine. Later, I found out she had returned all of the gifts she could and pocketed the cash. So, her 34 weeks came and went. There were a few nights she offered to babysit for me so I could go out. We military wives usually jump on offers like that. More on that later....(again, sorry this is so long!!!)
Right around week 38, this woman called me and asked if I could come over she needed to talk to me. When I got there she informed me that she had lost the twins that day. She was crying and hysterical, telling me she lost the twins, got her tubes tied, and came home all in the same day. I decided to distance myself from that day on. She did come around to talk to me once in awhile. Shortly after, she asked me if she could come and spend nights at my house because she told her DH that she got a job doing security work. She didnt. For about 1 week, she came to my door, dressed in a security guards uniform. She would sit and talk all night long. She confided to me that she was writing checks for cash at our PX, and it has totalled over $5000! All in her DH's name. Since he is the soldier, anything done by his dependants directly affects him. And I felt like she was bringing me directly into the path of deceit. My Dh finally had enough and told her Dh she wasnt working. We pretty much stopped talking at that point. She went on to become pregnant with twins AGAIN. She had the maternity clothes and all. Just like before. People would spot her at Wal mart returning things on a normal basis. It was all just too creepy. The lies never stopped. They were soon transferred to Germany. She was still pregnant when she left. About 2 years later, we were transferred to Germany. I got in contact with her to see if she could give me advice. She told me they now had 3 kids and another on the way. Didnt believe it, but we were in different places in Germany so it didnt affect me much. Oh, as we were packing to move, I noticed that my baby books were not in the same place I stored them. I looked through them, and ALL of my Ultrasound pics of the twins were gone. No doubt taken when she so graciously offered to babysit for me. 2 years ago, I found out that her DH was in Iraq and commited suicide. Upon looking for obituaries for our friend, it listed her and his cat as his ones left behind. Not the "kids" they had. The miracle kids, mind you, because she got her tubes tied, remember?
Ok, now as for my feelings for ICA and her guilt. I dont believe she planned to murder her child. I believe there was an accident. I believe she died in the swimming pool. Sometimes, I forget about all of the drama surrounding the 31 days, and just think about the first day. The flurry of calls, and then nothing for hours. The shovel borrowing, backing the car in. The dogs hitting in a spot in the yard. The A's saying the gate wasnt where it should have been. I think, IMO, she borrowed the shovel in order to bury Caylee, but for some reason did not do it, instead put her in the trunk. Perhaps she went into shock or was worried about being spotted. But the body in the trunk tells me she did not plan it. If she had, she would have made sure to have plans to dispose of her body. She was great at making up complete lies that got so deep. If she planned a murder, IMO, she would have planned it well. Her entire life was one enormous lie. She went into panic mode. And that is where she tied all of her previous lies into the story. The "nanny", had been mentioned before. Telling CA she was out of town for work. She did not plan on the A's doing what they did. The chloroform......I cant understand it. Unless she was researching it because her friend had some sort of picture about chloroform on his myspace or facebook. The duct tape, well, if it was placed there before death, that is hard to argue. And would be the only reason I would think she premeditated it. But it just doesnt fit for me. Perhaps she used the tape on a regular basis to cover her mouth if Caylee needed a time out and wouldnt stop crying. The heart sticker makes more sense that way. Like ICA was punishing her with tape over the mouth, but putting a pretty sticker would make caylee think it was normal. (I used to have time out chairs with my kids names lol) Maybe Caylee suffocated while in a time out. I just feel strongly that it was an accident that started everything. I do hope she never sees the light of day again and is never permitted to live among us, but not the death penalty. Just like my old friend, she created a whole story and brought people into it. ICA just didnt have the option to start a brand new life with brand new people such as my friend did. She didnt have the luxury of starting all new lies with nobody to call her on it. Unless you count the letters between herself and the other inmate. That looks like the beginning of a whole new story and set of lies. Sorry this was so long, but I wanted to tell the story for so long now. Justice for Caylee!!!!
