i want to bump this because it is better than the one i posted. And to add to it, here are 12 traits of a domestic abuser (sound familiar? Just change the "him" to "her"):
an abuser is typically:
1. Charming.
initially, he showers his woman with praise, adoration, and attention. His courtship is sweet and intense filled with phrases such as, i cant live without you. he quickly pushes for an exclusive relationship or engagement.
2. Jealous.
he views other men as a threat to the relationship and accuses you of flirting with everyone from his brother to the mailman. i know you are looking at him. the irony is that he often is the one who is cheating.
3. Manipulative.
this man is very intelligent. He knows how to detect your weak spots, and he uses your vulnerability and past pain to his advantage. you were abused as a kid because you are so ugly.
4. Controlling.
he wants to know where you are going and who you are with at all times. He may check the mileage on your car or follow you to the grocery store. He often refuses to allow you to work because you might meet someone.
5. A victim.
his poor choices are everyone elses fault. When he loses his job, gets into a fight, or a business deal falls through, its always because of the other person. He is never at fault. you make me hit you.
6. Narcissistic.
the whole world revolves around him. As the little woman who is beneath him, it is your job to meet his every need. He is the master; you are the unworthy slave. Its invigorating for him to know that everyone around him walks on eggshells.
7. Inconsistent.
mood swings are a common trait for an abuser. One minute he seems happy and sweet, the next he is pounding his fist.
8. Critical.
no matter how hard you try you will never be able to satisfy this kind of man. He thinks nothing of degrading and verbally assaulting you. you are a stupid, fat, disgusting tramp. You can never leave me. No other man would have you.
9. Disconnected.
his main goal is to isolate his victim from family and friends so that you are totally dependant on him. your family causes too much trouble for us. I dont want you seeing them anymore.
10. Hypersensitive.
the slightest offense sends him ranting. Everyone is out to get him.
11. Vicious and cruel.
a significant number of abusers harm children and animals as well as a partner. Inflicting pain and intimidating others is what gives him power. ill kill you before ill let you go. If i cant have you, no one will.
12. Insincerely repentant.
he will swear to never hit you again. but unless he receives professional help and strong accountability its very unlikely that he will change.
http://www.cbn.com/family/marriage/petherbridge_abusertraits.aspx
i think it's clear who the abuser was in this relationship and it wasn't travis.