It’s a horrifying position for them to be in, and since they never saw it coming, they must feel like they’re in a nightmare they can’t wake up from. I hope they receive some counseling and support because they are really going to need it.
That would probably be my first impulse----I'd be so angry at the offending child. How hard it might be to forgive them easily for such a brutal action.
Yes, it would be really hard when it's true that society in general might not blame you for not being able to forgive her, and that there are legitimate options set up for you to essentially give her up (like let her finish growing up in a state girls' home, for example). You're allowed to basically disown her and start over again. Everyone would understand. It could be as close as you could get to as if it never happened. It would be tempting, hard to resist that available option, in your pain and sorrow. That's probably why the stats on divorce are so high among couples who suffer the loss of a child. So much that reminds you of your loss. I don't know, maybe it is a better idea to not let her go back home. But that's a solution for the parents' sake, not hers. For her, that would probably make her turn out worse in the end. I truly wouldn't know what to do.
When my son was 12, he'd watch his 8 yr old sister at home, while I did errands sometimes. They usually wanted to stay home instead of being dragged to do boring errands after school. The rules were they needed to stay home and couldn't have any friends over until I returned. It never occurred to me that they would have a physical fight while I was gone.There's been a lot of discussion here about baby-sitting. Was it really baby-sitting though? Wasn't it more like "We're just popping out for a while, now you two behave yourselves"? At least that's how it was in "my day"
