MO - Boy, 13 mos, dies in hot car, Lee's Summit, 3 May 2012

[TerriM]

Daycare should have a call in policy like schools. If a child's sick a parent should call if the daycare doesn't get a call they should call the parent. This would hell prevent children being forgotten.

 

[jjenny]

I remember when my DS was born. We were blessed to have the best babysitter in the world, my mom. My DH would drop him off to my mom in the morning and I would take a train. But I told my mom if my husband ever didn't drop off the baby don't assume we were staying home. Always call me. I had a fear my husband would. Forget the baby in the car. Unrealistic maybe or maybe not.

Clearly not unreasonable fear since we read about these stories every summer.

 

[Lovejac]

I dread this time of year when these story start popping up in the news.

It's only May, we've got a long summer ahead of us.

 

[JBean]

Read this article, which daisy7 was kind enough to link to on a related thread:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dy...2/27/AR2009022701549.html?sid=ST2009030602446

It's long, but that's a good thing, as it explains very well how this happens, and why the vilifying of (most of) these parents is so wrong. The answers to your specific concerns are on the last page.

All JMO

Oh I did read that when daisy posted it. It is a tragedy all the way around. In most cases I do not think it is remotely close to being criminal-just incredibly tragic, sad and unbelievable to me.
I hope you don't think I was villifying anyone. I just cannot wrap me head around putting my purse in the back seat to remember my child as opposed to putting my purse next to my baby to remember my purse.

I think as a society we do as much in our cars as we do in the office or at home. I can fax, email,surf the web,scan documents, deposit a check, read at websleuths, read a book,text and talk on the telephone all before I pull out of my driveway. I can honestly say I do as much buisness in my car as I do at my desk and I do a lot of business!We have our heads in more places than was possible when my kids were in car seats. I was as busy as anyone else but cellphones were only just becoming almost affordable when they were babies and so it wasn't something that everyone spent so much time on. Our cars are extensions of our home and office and that is not the way it always was.

There is a SNL skit where you buy an app that tells you to watch out for the truck that is about to run you over because you have your head in your phone and aren't paying attention.It senses things for you.
Kind of a sad commentary and I think it is part of this problem of this topic.
I understand this problem is probably as old as cars themselves, but would not be surprised if this problem is on the rise because we need to get sensors to think for us now and help us to remember-even what is truly important. But if that is what it takes i am 100% in support.

I understand that it can happen and my heart aches for these parents that are probably doomed to an eternal hell in their own minds. Those poor people; it is a cruel fate all the way around.

But, I still cannot wrap my head around the whole concept and to be honest- i hope I never do.

 

[CuriousHousewife]

It's hard to understand how it happens in actuality, but in theory I can understand. A couple of years ago, my routine was to take my middle-schooler through her car line, then take my elementary-schooler through his car line. The schools were literally across the street from each other and our home is 2 miles from the school. I pulled into my driveway thinking I'd dropped both kids off and somehow my son had been so quiet with his video game or whatever he was doing that I didn't notice I'd forgotten to drop HIM off...had to backtrack. He was old enough where it likely wouldn't have been a tragedy had I never remembered, but I guess I can see this happening somehow, just not sure how with a baby that age.

 

[JeannaT]

It is positively frightening to me that we have to come up with ways to remember that our children are in the car.
All the ideas are good ones, don't get me wrong,I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that this actually needs to be done.

Maybe you were a stay at home mom, too. This certainly wouldn't have happened to me - not because I'm exceptionally attentive, or a better parent, but just because I always had my kids. This ONLY happens in families where neither parent is the designated "custodian" of the kids, the responsibility goes back and forth with no predictable routine.

I do keep coming up with thoughts about this, though, technology wise. How about if before you can "beep" your car locked, you have to press something ON the child seat in the car before you can beep it locked. People never seem to forget to beep their car locked. Press a button ON the child seat before you can beep the car locked.

 

[SkewedView]

Oh I did read that when daisy posted it. It is a tragedy all the way around. In most cases I do not think it is remotely close to being criminal-just incredibly tragic, sad and unbelievable to me.
I hope you don't think I was villifying anyone. I just cannot wrap me head around putting my purse in the back seat to remember my child as opposed to putting my purse next to my baby to remember my purse.

I think as a society we do as much in our cars as we do in the office or at home. I can fax, email,surf the web,scan documents, deposit a check, read at websleuths, read a book,text and talk on the telephone all before I pull out of my driveway. I can honestly say I do as much buisness in my car as I do at my desk and I do a lot of business!We have our heads in more places than was possible when my kids were in car seats. I was as busy as anyone else but cellphones were only just becoming almost affordable when they were babies and so it wasn't something that everyone spent so much time on. Our cars are extensions of our home and office and that is not the way it always was.

There is a SNL skit where you buy an app that tells you to watch out for the truck that is about to run you over because you have your head in your phone and aren't paying attention.It senses things for you.
Kind of a sad commentary and I think it is part of this problem of this topic.
I understand this problem is probably as old as cars themselves, but would not be surprised if this problem is on the rise because we need to get sensors to think for us now and help us to remember-even what is truly important. But if that is what it takes i am 100% in support.

I understand that it can happen and my heart aches for these parents that are probably doomed to an eternal hell in their own minds. Those poor people; it is a cruel fate all the way around.

But, I still cannot wrap my head around the whole concept and to be honest- i hope I never do.

Oh, I didn't think you were vilifying at all! That part of the comment was due to the way the general public comments about these poor souls.

As for the cell phone thing - well, I have a poor opinion of 'cell-zombi-ism' as it is (I hate the regular phone as it is, so I avoid using the cell as much as possible, never even learned to text very well), so it wouldn't surprise me if that is a consistent contributing factor. Distractions of any kind while driving are just not kosher, but cell phones reach a whole new level.

I agree with the article & posters on these threads in attributing much of the blame to not being able to place kids in the front passenger seat, combined with the rear-facing baby seat thing. It sucks, I don't even have a passenger side air-bag (my car is old enough to legally buy alchohol this year, lol), but my nanny-State says it is illegal to have my kid up there regardless.

I was able to wrap my head around it by recalling the many times I've gone on auto-pilot whilst driving & wound up heading towards work or some other common destination instead of the one I intended - it's amazing how far along I get before I realize it, and often I have to be verbally nudged by a passenger. If you've ever done that, you've already experienced the first stage in these disasters...

I'm actually quite thankful that I didn't get my first car until after my daughter was old enough to speak up for herself, as she was such a quiet baby that if I had ever forgotten to drop her off somewhere...I shudder to think of it.

All JMO

 

[SkewedView]

Maybe you were a stay at home mom, too. This certainly wouldn't have happened to me - not because I'm exceptionally attentive, or a better parent, but just because I always had my kids. This ONLY happens in families where neither parent is the designated "custodian" of the kids, the responsibility goes back and forth with no predictable routine.

I do keep coming up with thoughts about this, though, technology wise. How about if before you can "beep" your car locked, you have to press something ON the child seat in the car before you can beep it locked. People never seem to forget to beep their car locked. Press a button ON the child seat before you can beep the car locked.

Good point there - but I would add that there is another category of parent this happens to - the single parent (or equivalent, such as an army wife). They often have similar problems with chaotic schedule-juggling etc.

 

[BrownRice]

Good point there - but I would add that there is another category of parent this happens to - the single parent (or equivalent, such as an army wife). They often have similar problems with chaotic schedule-juggling etc.

I don't think this happens too much with the single parent - who of course probably has more schedule/juggling issues than others and more chaos. Having sole responsibility of the kids is something they do every day, like a stay at home mom - kids are always your responsibility to drop off. Maybe the single mom forgets the milk for cereal to to turn off the iron, but not the kids in the car. In my memory, the kids in the car issue seems to only happen when the 2 parents change their normal routine of who drops off where.

 

[JeannaT]

I don't think this happens too much with the single parent - who of course probably has more schedule/juggling issues than others and more chaos. Having sole responsibility of the kids is something they do every day, like a stay at home mom - kids are always your responsibility to drop off. Maybe the single mom forgets the milk for cereal to to turn off the iron, but not the kids in the car. In my memory, the kids in the car issue seems to only happen when the 2 parents change their normal routine of who drops off where.

I agree - I really only seem to remember seeing this in cases where more than one person is routinely responsible for the kids. No matter how harried the single parent - from what I've seen - they don't forget the baby in the car seat like people who don't have that established every single day routine do.

There was a case here where the dad never even knew the baby was in his car - his wife had put the baby there, it was his "day" or they had discussed it days prior - and as a favor she loaded the baby up and off he went and the baby died because he never even knew or didn't remember it was his day.

Do daycares require parents to bring in a diaper bag anymore? That would be a good thing - place the diaper bag ON TOP of a brief case or purse in the front seat of the car, so that the parent can't get to their stuff without taking the baby stuff off first.

 

[daisy7]

I have never left any of my kids in the car, but once I left my dog there. My dog is very old and he doesn't do much but sleep. But, he loves riding in the car. He knows when we are getting ready to leave to take my younger boys to school and waits at the door. So, we take him for the ride to drop them at school.

Usually, I come home straight from school (I work from home) and take him out and bring him inside. One day, a few months ago, I had to run some errands after I dropped them (go to my to pick up some stuff, go to the grocery store, etc.). By the time I got home, I totally forgot he was in the car (in the middle backseat), cuz he was just sleeping.

It was a few hours after I got home, that I went looking for him, cuz that was the time he usually wakes up for his morning nap. I couldn't find him and finally remembered he was still in the car. It's lucky we were having a cold front coming through that day.

Now, I make sure he is left in the front seat after I drop my boys at school so I don't forget about Biscuit.

 

[azwriter]

Living in the desert area of Phoenix we see these accidents happen throughout the summer months. And, of course each one is tragic for the parents and the child.

However, there have been hints given over and over as to how to avoid this. Mothers are told to put their purse in the back seat along side the child carrier. Women it seems never forget their purse.

For Dad's, a brief case can go in the back seat or something like a lunch that he wouldn't leave the car without.

Also Day Care businesses are now learning if I mother or father who is scheduled to drop off a child doesn't show up within a certain time period, the business contacts one of the parents as soon as possible to inquire as to why they haven't stopped by the day care yet. It's an easy question, not prying, but a great reminder or wake up that oh my, the baby is still in the car.
jmo

 

[SkewedView]

I don't think this happens too much with the single parent - who of course probably has more schedule/juggling issues than others and more chaos. Having sole responsibility of the kids is something they do every day, like a stay at home mom - kids are always your responsibility to drop off. Maybe the single mom forgets the milk for cereal to to turn off the iron, but not the kids in the car. In my memory, the kids in the car issue seems to only happen when the 2 parents change their normal routine of who drops off where.

Oh, I agree, it's usually divided responsibilities at the root - but there are a few cases every year with the solo parent. A prominent one - an army wife whose husband is constantly overseas - is featured in the article linked above. The solo parent may have sole responsibility for pickups & drop-offs, but they also have sole responsibility for everything else, and that can mean more distractions, more pressure & more chaos in their daily schedules, especially if they don't have reliable relatives in the area to help out. That combo can be deadly, and not just in these types of cases.

All JMO

 

[raindrops300]

This is such a tragedy..

Parents are under such stress these days I can see how this could happen. There are days when I arrive at work or home and wonder how I drove there safely, just hoping I stopped at all red lights, etc, cause I sure don't remember the drive.
It does seem that a sensor of some kind could be installed in vehicles, activated by weight in a car seat. I know a light comes on if something heavy is in my front passenger seat and the seat belt isn't fastened. In my opinion, this is not something car manufacturers would put a priority on because a parent leaving a child in a car is not something they could be sued over. Considering all the features available on vehicles, it certainly is not out of the realm of possibility to add this one.