Match! MO - St Louis Co, WhtFem UP5294, 31-35, below scenic lookout, Aug'90 *Cynthia Day*

[Billylee]

Billylee,

I just asked Cynthia's daughter on Thursday and she still has not heard anything... seems to me like LE is dragging their feet with these dentals!!

My sentiments exactly.

 

[Charlie99909]

This is bs. They need to pick up the pace.

 

[chaddylex]

I feel bad for Cynthia's family! They need closure!

 

[Mensch]

Perhaps someone else here could contact the agency who is supposed to be doing a comparison and gently remind them this was turned in as a possible and that an update in the process would be greatly appreciated? Families don't let LE drag their feet if a possible has been found. (mo)

ETA: maybe it's time to connect with the family again (their website)? Something is definately not right here. Family would at least recognize a "possible" photo match. Is everyone on the same page? KWIM?

 

[Brassband]

If it were me, I would contact my local congressman or representative and explain that help is needed now. And maybe contact the local papers, and write a detailed letter to the editor. I'd also call my radio stations and beg them for help. (Wow, I'm really getting steamed over this. I'm having to edit alot of expletives...) this is, of course, jmo.

 

[Billylee]

If it were me, I would contact my local congressman or representative and explain that help is needed now. And maybe contact the local papers, and write a detailed letter to the editor. I'd also call my radio stations and beg them for help. (Wow, I'm really getting steamed over this. I'm having to edit alot of expletives...) this is, of course, jmo.

Nope, it's not JYO it's most of ours too. I encouraged them to contact the media long ago, but some people just have trouble doing that sort of thing. Anyone live around that area, who could possibly bring this story to a local newspaper reporter's attention? Nothing speeds up the process like a reporter asking questions.

 

[chaddylex]

Perhaps someone else here could contact the agency who is supposed to be doing a comparison and gently remind them this was turned in as a possible and that an update in the process would be greatly appreciated? Families don't let LE drag their feet if a possible has been found. (mo)

ETA: maybe it's time to connect with the family again (their website)? Something is definately not right here. Family would at least recognize a "possible" photo match. Is everyone on the same page? KWIM?

Mensch,

I am in weekly contact with Cynthia's daughter. They are waiting to start DNA comparison soon are waiting for dentals. I know they are in constant contact with LE, I am thinking they lost either Cynthia's dentals or the UID's. I know the LE they are dealing with now is making headway, just not fast enough.

I know they have contacted the media before, but they are also waiting to see if this is a positive ID to move forward...

Like I have said, I am in contact with her daughter regularly and I don't want to step on her toes. She is very gracious lady and she is waiting for the DNA if the dentals don't pan out. (as in being able to obtain either set)

 

[Mensch]

Mensch,

I am in weekly contact with Cynthia's daughter. They are waiting to start DNA comparison soon are waiting for dentals. I know they are in constant contact with LE, I am thinking they lost either Cynthia's dentals or the UID's. I know the LE they are dealing with now is making headway, just not fast enough.

I know they have contacted the media before, but they are also waiting to see if this is a positive ID to move forward...

Like I have said, I am in contact with her daughter regularly and I don't want to step on her toes. She is very gracious lady and she is waiting for the DNA if the dentals don't pan out. (as in being able to obtain either set)

Is her daughter the family member posting here by the name of Hopefulforsure?

There were two posts made - basically two posts of same message. I doubt any family member would consider it "stepping on toes" to offer help in expediting the process?

How does someone say: they THINK possibly the dentals were lost? and not want intervention? Who is saying this? The family? Either they are or aren't and this is since the statement they were 'waiting' the check them? Now because of the long time frame, they "may be lost"?

None of this makes sense. How do you know the daughter? By their web page? Just trying to figure out why this case is so convoluted and secretive. Something is very wrong with this whole possible match thing. The family clearly needs an advocate....

 

[carbuff]

It really could be taking that much time to try to locate the dental records.

If the dentist who did the work has retired, it can be difficult to track down the records. If the practice is sold to a new dentist, maybe they kept the old records. If the dentist's office has moved, records can be misplaced or lost. Or maybe they're stored in a rental unit somewhere, or the dentist's basement in an Arizona retirement community, or the dentist's granddaughter's attic. I know of cases where all of these have happened -- and that's to current people needing dental treatment.

The dentist I went to growing up developed Alzheimer's and was eventually forced to retire. Many files were lost. His records were boxed up and stored somewhere and are available, but they're such chaos that somebody would have to go through every box one file at a time to find something. It would take weeks for a full-time person and they wouldn't know until they finished whether that particular person's was lost.

 

[chaddylex]

Is her daughter the family member posting here by the name of Hopefulforsure?

There were two posts made - basically two posts of same message. I doubt any family member would consider it "stepping on toes" to offer help in expediting the process?

How does someone say: they THINK possibly the dentals were lost? and not want intervention? Who is saying this? The family? Either they are or aren't and this is since the statement they were 'waiting' the check them? Now because of the long time frame, they "may be lost"?

None of this makes sense. How do you know the daughter? By their web page? Just trying to figure out why this case is so convoluted and secretive. Something is very wrong with this whole possible match thing. The family clearly needs an advocate....

Mensch,

I do not personally know the daughter, only emailing back and forth. (And she is my friend on Facebook) Another member gave her the heads up that I was in contact with the Missouri Highway Patrol in January, and she emailed me to thank me. We have been in contact ever since, just about weekly.

I should have not said "stepping on her toes", I just think she for is letting the LE she is in contact with take control of this. I have asked her a few times about the dentals and she has told me a few times they are still waiting for them, I know she said LE was having a hard time finding them, maybe they are lost considering they have been trying since like February to receive them...

Cynthia's daughter is the one who posted Hopefulforsure. I am not trying to be secretive, I just don't know anything other then LE said they are still waiting for dentals and that DNA will start in May.

I know the family is very sad that this is probably their mom. Yes they need closure, but at the same time, they don't want to face reality that this probably is her.

Her daughter has worked very hard over the years looking for her and has been in contact with many people about her mom missing, she is just waiting for the positive ID to make a story about it. Which many of us have told her she should.

I will run a few things by her and let you know about the response... Thanks everyone on here for your help! I know she truly appreicates it!



I also let her know about a DNA testing Carl told me about that would be free of charge and the LE she is dealing with told her to stay with the University of Texas.

I can mention this about what you all have said on here about contacting the media, I know Billylee has in the past. Cynthia's daughter is a wonderful woman, just having conversation with her.

 

[chaddylex]

It really could be taking that much time to try to locate the dental records.

If the dentist who did the work has retired, it can be difficult to track down the records. If the practice is sold to a new dentist, maybe they kept the old records. If the dentist's office has moved, records can be misplaced or lost. Or maybe they're stored in a rental unit somewhere, or the dentist's basement in an Arizona retirement community, or the dentist's granddaughter's attic. I know of cases where all of these have happened -- and that's to current people needing dental treatment.

The dentist I went to growing up developed Alzheimer's and was eventually forced to retire. Many files were lost. His records were boxed up and stored somewhere and are available, but they're such chaos that somebody would have to go through every box one file at a time to find something. It would take weeks for a full-time person and they wouldn't know until they finished whether that particular person's was lost.

Thanks carbuff, I am just letting everyone know what Cynthia's daughter has been telling me, not trying to be secretive!!!

 

[carbuff]

Thanks carbuff, I am just letting everyone know what Cynthia's daughter has been telling me, not trying to be secretive!!!

Yes, I know, and you're doing a great job. I just thought maybe people weren't familiar with how many things could go wrong trying to get dental records...

 

[chaddylex]

Thanks carbuff,

I sent Cynthia's daughter an email, asking her for an update because inquiring minds would love to know the status. I will let you know what I hear. (probably will be the same thing I posted last week) I just hate to keep bothering her. She is a nice woman that lost her mom and would love justice!

 

[Brassband]

Mensch,

... (snip)
I know the family is very sad that this is probably their mom. Yes they need closure, but at the same time, they don't want to face reality that this probably is her.

Her daughter has worked very hard over the years looking for her and has been in contact with many people about her mom missing, she is just waiting for the positive ID to make a story about it. Which many of us have told her she should.

...

Of course, this makes perfect sense. Once the family is involved, everyone (and I'm pointing the finger at myself here) needs to take a step back and respect how they want things to come to an end. If they are willing to wait it out, all we can do is give them emotional support. They have plenty on their plates as it is.
Anyone who has ever been through really difficult circumstances knows what their breaking point is. For them, pushing hard on LE just might be too much to bear.
I'll continue to keep them in my prayers.

 

[chaddylex]

Of course, this makes perfect sense. Once the family is involved, everyone (and I'm pointing the finger at myself here) needs to take a step back and respect how they want things to come to an end. If they are willing to wait it out, all we can do is give them emotional support. They have plenty on their plates as it is.
Anyone who has ever been through really difficult circumstances knows what their breaking point is. For them, pushing hard on LE just might be too much to bear.
I'll continue to keep them in my prayers.

Thanks Brassband, you took the words right out of my mouth, I don't want to keep bothering her, she's a nice woman and I don't want to flare up any emotions and she does have enough on her plate. Thanks for understanding my point of view. It means alot!

Let's pray Cynthia's family gets the closure they need!

 

[Billylee]

What I conveyed to the family was this, "IF you EVER feel that LE is giving you the run around, then consider going to the media".
(Which, by the way, they have done in their search years before.)
So, I think it's pretty obvious that they feel, at this point anyway, comfortable with the progress or lack thereof. I also suggested to them that they try to go the dental route if their Mom's dentals were available since the DNA is supposed to take a year or more.
And, like Chaddy, I do not want to bother them with questions.

However, I would like to know what the hold up is on the dentals, because it sounds to me like they are having trouble getting the JD's dentals, not Cynthia's. (JMO, based on what I've read.) There was also something about the body being misplaced or something and all this confusion of the handling of the JD just makes me wonder what's up with that.

 

[BittysMomma]

Off Topic:
I know nothing about this case or how to go about doing an ID for an unidentified person (though I am very interested) but I just wanted to say that I think you guys are amazing at what you do here on this part of WS!!! I did actually come across a case the other day that I thought could be a possible match...at least to my very untrained eye but since I really don't know what I'm doing I left it alone. I am just amazed at the time and effort that you all put into doing this with such compassion, care, and love...all just to help another human being. I'm sorry to go off topic with this post but I just felt like I needed to say how incredible you all are for doing this!!!

 

[chaddylex]

However, I would like to know what the hold up is on the dentals, because it sounds to me like they are having trouble getting the JD's dentals, not Cynthia's. (JMO, based on what I've read.) There was also something about the body being misplaced or something and all this confusion of the handling of the JD just makes me wonder what's up with that.

I would like to know too Billylee, I just don't want to sound pushy when I email to her. I did send her an email yesterday, but I haven't heard back.

Maybe Cynthia's family is also kind of keeping things close to their belt because if this is her, it will probably turn into a homicide investigation.... just a thought.

 

[cj1132]

I would like to know too Billylee, I just don't want to sound pushy when I email to her. I did send her an email yesterday, but I haven't heard back.

Maybe Cynthia's family is also kind of keeping things close to their belt because if this is her, it will probably turn into a homicide investigation.... just a thought.

That makes a lot of sense. If this does turn into a homicide investigation, it would be best to keep it quiet. I know the family is anxious to have an answer but I'm sure that if this is Cynthia and she was murdered, her family wants the responsible person arrested.

 

[Brassband]

I would like to know too Billylee, I just don't want to sound pushy when I email to her. I did send her an email yesterday, but I haven't heard back.

Maybe Cynthia's family is also kind of keeping things close to their belt because if this is her, it will probably turn into a homicide investigation.... just a thought.

Well, May is almost here. The DNA comparisons will be done. Hopefully, we'll hear something by June. I've got a hunch that the dentals were a dead end. Maybe unavailable like carbuff said.