I agree that it is important that we talk about the REALITIES of parenting. I think there is something inside most of us that is deathly afraid to admit we have weak moments as parents. I have never, will never spank or so much as slapped my son's hand BUT I will shamefully admit to having flashes of violent thoughts on one occasion when he was up several nights in a row and I had gotten zero sleep. I knew it wasn't his fault. There is something in me, some internal mechanism that will not allow those thoughts to become reality. I think people who snap and whale on their kids are missing whatever that is due to what....drugs? Immaturity? A bad upbringing? I don't know the answer, but I do think it would be more helpful if parents felt it was ok to speak honestly about having those feelings instead of being ashamed.
When my son, the love and light of my life, was just a couple months old, I remember standing on the second floor balcony of our apartment at around 3 am. I had him in my arms and he was crying, had been crying for several nights in a row. I worked full-time. I had just bought us a house and was trying to not only pack up our apartment, but paint and clean the new house so that we could move in. I was a single mom with absolutely zero help and support from my son's dad. I was literally operating on probably six hours sleep over three days time. I could not lay my son down and walk away because if I let him cry like that, the neighbors would not be happy. The people upstairs had already banged on the floor a few times when he would cry. I couldn't put him in the car and drive around like I had the previous nights because I was so incredibly tired that it wouldn't have been safe. As I stood there, I had a horrible thought...if I threw him off my second floor deck, I bet he would stop crying. I actually saw myself doing it. It was the most horrifying thing, to have this thought in my head. Fortunately, that little switch in my brain kicked in and snapped me the heck out of it and fast. My point is, I think some people are missing that switch. And I think it might be helpful for those people to hear from the rest of us that they are not alone in having these horrible moments, but there are ways to handle it and get through it.