Mother of one of Lisa Irwin’s half brothers speaks out

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Check the Judgment detail tabs on the case. She is the defendant in both cases.. He is the plantiff.

He appears to have paid court costs in the paternity suit in 2005:
Date: 09/06/2005 Description: Judgment Entered Against: RAIM, RASLEEN
Amount of Judgment: $0.00 Date of Satisfaction: not yet on file
Text: JUDGEMENT COSTS: 132.00, COSTS PAID: O, PAYMENT DATE: 2005-09-07, JUDGMENT SYNOPSIS: COSTS $132.00 (JEREMY) PAID

It was a default judgment in the paternity. (She may have not shown up to protest. In that case the filing party gets what they want.)

The Child Support case appears to be dismissed. Which could mean that they resolved the issue privately?

https://www.courts.mo.gov/casenet/cases/header.do

Where is the custody/visitation portion? Maybe she was there for that part.

Not enough information here to judge the woman. She may have had a health, money, cultural, educational, emotional issue, etc. We just don't know.

No matter what the reason, the children are the ones that suffer.
 
BBM

It does not sit well with me that a father would fight for sole custody of a son (and by some accounts, "ruthlessly"), ostensibly based on the unsuitability/unfitness of the mother, yet support his current girlfriend/mother of his baby when she admits she drank enough to black out during the time their baby goes missing.

Just does not sit well with me.

Great point, Brooke. That's very peculiar. What has changed?
 
Why would you hope that? We know absolutely nothing about her, for all we know she could have been a horribly neglectful mother, she could have been abusive, she could have been an addict; we just don't know exactly what the circumstances were. As grandparents, my DH and I fought with everything we had to gain custody of our grandchildren after our son was killed in an accident. Their mother was a severe addict, she was homeless and living from pillar to post, at one time in a travel trailer with no heat , water, or electricity in below zero conditions in the dead of winter. She blew through over 100,000.00 in life insurance in less than 6 mo. didn't buy a home or vehicle and put nothing away for the children's future...she put it all up her nose or in her arm. The children were exposed to dozens of men in her life, dozens of addicts in her life and they missed so much school that they all had to be retained. They had over 2 dozen addresses in less than a year and attended 5 different schools. Needless to say the children were in a very bad situation...but it wasn't bad enough for a judge to award us custody. I can tell you from experience that children are not easily removed from their mothers! I'll reserve judgement of Jeremy until we hear his side of the story.
BTW mom has now gone through rehab and is finally providing a decent home for her children, we have gone above and beyond to help her for the sake of our grandchildren.

To a large degree I agree with you. If I was the one actually responsible for making a decision on custody, I certainly would be ascertaining to the fullest extent possible what kind of background she has and what kind of mother it indicates she might be.

That said, I'm not in that position, have limited access to info (the articles in the case), so formed my opinion on what is available. I judged her character from the interview to be good. I have interviewed about a 1,000 people give or take in my life, so am comfortable shooting from the hip. I saw the love and concern in her eyes, and that was the most sincere show of love I have seen from a mother in this case. Knowing what I know about the crime in this case, I don't bat an eye to conclude she is the best place for that boy. Jeremy is not showing me what I expect to see from a father, what I would do if Lisa was my daughter. This is a no brainer for me, personally.

I suspect she simply was either out of work or indigent in 2008 and could not afford the legal representation at the custody hearing and had to default. I am not experienced at all in these matters, so could be mistaken. That's just to me what likely happened, from the appearances. She then found a job in Marshall and perhaps is doing better now than in 2008, and can finally afford the attorney. Until I learn there are facts that indicate otherwise, I lean in this direction. This is not some narcissistic, cold-hearted mother, IMO.
 
BBM--

Is it known as fact that the house was gifted to JI?

There is public documentation that he took out a $92K mortgage on the house, in his name only, so I don't see that this was a gift from anyone. Is there a way to check and see if the mortgage he took out when he bought the place has been satisfied, and by whom?
 
I don't have any sympathy for her because she didn't try to see him. There are so many parents like this. I raised 5 children as a single parent (4 are my own flesh & blood) and often had to work two jobs to keep the roof over our heads after the garment plants went down. The boys had school clothes and changed into a set of play clothes when they came in. In the summer they sleep in their shorts and cooler months what ever was clean and comfortable. No fancy pajamas, ever. I guess I'm kind of crazy because had anyone tried to take my children (anyone is a key word) I would have shot them dead.
I'm glad it ended well because I'm not in prison. My oldest is 46; I have 12 grands and 1 great grandchild.
 
i have to say something here that has happened in my own experience. one of my daughters lost custody to her kids to her ex mother in law. my daughter tried to fight it as long as she could. she couldn't afford her own attorney and was given a court appointed one. the mother in law worked with the state, knew the system, knew the judge that was appointed to my daughter's case. we tried to have judge replaced and were denied. we finally found a lawyer that was willing to take my daughter's case and tried to fire the state appointed on to hire her...that was denied. the one my daughter wanted said both of these things were against my daughter's rights but roadblocks kept being put up and we didn't have the money to battle it. each time we were ready to go to court a few days before court date something new would be added to my daughter's case. we would try to get it postponed to be able to prove what was said wasn't correct. postponement would be denied. the case worker had been caught in a few lies luckily daughter had proof. judge would either just put it aside or not even acknowledge it. the court appointed attorney would only speak to my daughter for about 15 minutes before each court date. then he would totally ignore anything my daughter had to say and do as he wished. this was literally putting our whole family through depression and a lot of stress. that was used against us. my daughter followed everything the children services said she needed to do to get them back. either it was ignored or lied about. as i said daughter luckily had proof she was following their "plan" for her to get them back.

unfortunately after 2 years my daughter was so brow beaten she gave up and signed them over. she said she couldn't put the kids through this any longer and she was to a point she was doubting herself. the judge said we could have contact with the kids at the mother in laws disgression. yeah right. we would set up times to see them and just before we were something would come up and she'd say it wasn't convient. yes, we could have fought that also but by this time daughter as i said was doubting herself and also we would have been dealing with same attorney and same judge all over again. she didn't see it doing any good. believe me it hurts her a LOT. she has never been the same. its been almost 10 years and she still has a hard time with it. she loves those kids and misses them a lot and it hurts her. she's stayed friends and in contact with her ex hubby. the kicker is he was on my daughter's side, helped her fight it against his mom. but my daughter told him to stop. they figured if he would stay out of it he'd still be able to see the kids, still be able to contact my daughter and keep her updated. he has been doing so.

here's another kicker. this involved 2 of my daughters because they lived in the same house together. as long as the older one was fighting against it the younger one was being put through the ringer also. but younger one is more of a fighter. the minute the older one signed the kids over my younger daughter suddenly had a new judge. that judge looked at the whole report and was surprised things got as far as it did. he dropped all charges. literally yelled at the case worker...told the state to stay out of our lives that they needed to go after those that WERE abusing their kids not my daughters. told my older daughter how sorry he was that she was put through all this. told her he wished he could have been the judge in her case that charges would have dropped the first court date. he literally was so sorry for what happened and said if/when she felt up to fighting it he would be glad to help what he could.

point of this being. we don't know the whole story behind what happened and why JI ended up with custody. if it was a similar situation and sounds like it was since it was said he was ruthless in his pursuit. she may have felt fear for both herself and her son. she may be doing what my daughter is...patiently waiting for her kids to be of age so she can legally seek contact without threat of jail or law suits as my daughter is threatened with.
 
Probably why she has an attorney who doesn't want her to speak...

Haven't read the whole thread, but just what kind of attorney does she have? Family/civil or defense??

ETA: Nevermind....just read Katshep's above post. ;\
 
point of this being. we don't know the whole story behind what happened and why JI ended up with custody. if it was a similar situation and sounds like it was since it was said he was ruthless in his pursuit. she may have felt fear for both herself and her son. she may be doing what my daughter is...patiently waiting for her kids to be of age so she can legally seek contact without threat of jail or law suits as my daughter is threatened with.

She can't recover what has been lost but I would start today letting my voice be heard. The longer she remains silent the less chance she has of influencing the situation.Those children may be programed against her already.
 
BBM

It does not sit well with me that a father would fight for sole custody of a son (and by some accounts, "ruthlessly"), ostensibly based on the unsuitability/unfitness of the mother, yet support his current girlfriend/mother of his baby when she admits she drank enough to black out during the time their baby goes missing.

Just does not sit well with me.
Ironic, ain't it??!!!
 
Why would you hope that?

Respectfully shortened-

A baby is missing from Jeremy's home and he is not fully cooperating with the police, he has told conflicting stories to police, he waited over 34 minutes to call 911 after his baby was noticed to be missing, and he does not appear to be disturbed by the fact that during Deborah's drunkednes, his child "disappeared". RR may not be the ideal mother, but unless she has a conviction as an ax murderer, her home might be safer than Jeremy's. Also realize that children are 4x as likely to die in foster care than with a biological parent. Being with a biological parent is usually healthier than foster care and RR is the biological parent.


Children are more likely to die in foster care.
http://www.mit.edu/~jjdoyle/doyle_fosterlt_march07_aer.pdf

Children placed in foster care have more compromised developmental outcomes than children who do not experience placement in foster care.
American Academy of Pediatrics. Health care of young children in foster care. Pediatrics (2000) 109:536–39.


Children are more likely to develop Reactive Attachment Disorder in foster care.
http://epublications.marquette.edu/...ve attachment disorder foster care site:.edu"

A child having no dominating parental figure during the early years of development may lead to a child never being able to form an emotional bond to another person.
American Academy of Pediatrics.* “Developmental Issues For Young Children In Foster Care.” EBSCOhost Full Display.* Pediatrics.* 106 (2000): 1146, 6p. 

Katz, Linda L, M.S.W. “An Overview of Current Clinical Issues in Separation and Placement.” Child and Adolescent Social Work* 4* (1987):* 209-225


A 1986 survey conducted by the National Foster Care Education Project found that foster children were 10 times more likely to be abused than children among the general population. A follow-up study in 1990 by the same group produced similar results. A 2001 study found that foster care children were more likely to have a mental health or substance abuse.
http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/FactOverview/foster.html
Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2000;154:1114-1117


Despite the large number of children at high risk of poor life outcomes served by child protective services, it is unclear whether removing children from home and placing them in foster care is beneficial for children, especially for children at the margin of placement
National Research Council and Institute of Medicine. 1998. Violence in Families. Washington: National Academy Press.

Children who were placed in foster care are far more likely than other children to commit crimes, dropout of school, enter the homeless population, join welfare, and experience substance abuse problems.
Courtney, M.E. and I. Piliavin. Foster youths transitions to adulthood: Outcomes 12 to 18 months after leaving out-of-home care. Madison, WI: School of Social Work, University of Wisconsin-Madison. 1998.

According to data compiled by the Department of Health and Human Services in 1999, the rate of child maltreatment was more than 75 percent higher -- and the rate of fatal maltreatment almost 350 percent higher -- for children in foster care than in the general population.
Children's Bureau, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Child Maltreatment 1999, Reports from the states to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (1999), Tables 3.2, 4.1.

Pensfan
--------
verified psychiatric mental health nurse
 
Respectfully shortened-

A baby is missing from Jeremy's home and he is not fully cooperating with the police, he has told conflicting stories to police, he waited over 34 minutes to call 911 after his baby was noticed to be missing, and he does not appear to be disturbed by the fact that during Deborah's drunkednes, his child "disappeared". RR may not be the ideal mother, but unless she has a conviction as an ax murderer, her home might be safer than Jeremy's. Also realize that children are 4x as likely to die in foster care than with a biological parent. Being with a biological parent is usually healthier than foster care and RR is the biological parent.
SBM
BBM
34 minutes sounds like about the perfect amount of time to call. that means they had time to look all around the house, they also went to the neighbors just in case she was there. And we don't know he got home exactly at 3:30. It could have been a few minutes later.
 
Before we throw that "ruthless" comment around too much more, let's all remember that that was Peter Alexander that used that particular word, and therefore, we have no way of knowing if it was a direct quote from the ex's family, or if it was a paraphrase by a reporter.
JMO.

--BBM

--the reporter says the "ruthless" was a quote from her family.



http://www.fox4kc.com/news/wdaf-bradleys-family-talks-about-past-20111008,0,1316565.story

Missing Baby's Extended Family Discusses Parents' Past
--@ 1:33

Reporter Dave Dunn—"This is the southeast Kansas city home of Jeremy Irwin’s ex, Rasleen Raim, the mother of his 8 year old son B*. Her family says she now lives in Marshall Missouri. They say the 2 were never married but Jeremy was, quote “ruthless” about 4 years ago, splitting from Rasleen and taking custody of their son.

This family, like the family of Deborah’s ex is concerned about the welfare of the older boys in the home where 10 month old lisa disappeared. They also pray for a happy ending to what they call a bizarre case".
 
SBM
BBM
34 minutes sounds like about the perfect amount of time to call. that means they had time to look all around the house, they also went to the neighbors just in case she was there. And we don't know he got home exactly at 3:30. It could have been a few minutes later.
It is enough time to walk to the large Missouri River and toss in 3 cellphones and your deceased baby and then walk home.
 
--BBM

--the reporter says the "ruthless" was a quote from her family.



http://www.fox4kc.com/news/wdaf-bradleys-family-talks-about-past-20111008,0,1316565.story

Missing Baby's Extended Family Discusses Parents' Past
--@ 1:33

Reporter Dave Dunn—"This is the southeast Kansas city home of Jeremy Irwin’s ex, Rasleen Raim, the mother of his 8 year old son B*. Her family says she now lives in Marshall Missouri. They say the 2 were never married but Jeremy was, quote “ruthless” about 4 years ago, splitting from Rasleen and taking custody of their son.

This family, like the family of Deborah’s ex is concerned about the welfare of the older boys in the home where 10 month old lisa disappeared. They also pray for a happy ending to what they call a bizarre case".

But, just from experience with other cases and the news media, I choose not to consider that a quote directly from the family, but rather, from the reporter. We have no idea the true context of that statement, because it was conveniently made off camera.
 
It is enough time to walk to the large Missouri River and toss in 3 cellphones and your deceased baby and then walk home.
Not really. Got to go through more than it looks like walking. Especially if lugging a baby.
 
This makes me so sad for her. I'm not going to pretend to know the story, but it makes my heart hurt. I can't imagine not being able to see my littles.

IMO: If Jeremy doesn't start speaking up for LISA - this may soon change.. right now, him covering for DEBORAH is pure neglect to the child he says is KIDNAPPED!

Him not speaking privatley to detectives speaks volumes to me! He has NO reason NOT to! HE was at work. HE is cleared...:furious:
 
Not really. Got to go through more than it looks like walking. Especially if lugging a baby.
The river appears to be approx 1.4 miles away. Even if he had to make some detour, he could walk at a brisk pace and return home. Lisa isn't that heavy considering that he is a male and he only had to carry her one way. Interestingly, Tacopina stated numerous times in his video that Debi called within ONE HOUR of finding her daughter gone.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/bab...ss-claim-14808422?tab=9482931&section=4765066
 
IMO: If Jeremy doesn't start speaking up for LISA - this may soon change.. right now, him covering for DEBORAH is pure neglect to the child he says is KIDNAPPED!

Him not speaking privatley to detectives speaks volumes to me! He has NO reason NOT to! HE was at work. HE is cleared...:furious:

It's also possible that both JI and DB are covering for someone else.
 
Just wondering...

Could the mother of the 8 year old put in a call to CPS? There is a whole lot of proof out there that shows JI is perfectly happy supporting Deborah who was DRUNK when her lil girl went missing ... also in one interview - she says b4 going to bed at 10:30 she asded BOTH boys to come to bed with her..... that means BOTH boys must have seen/heard her in her stage of drunkeness.....is this not some for of neglect?
 

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