Mr. Chaz Bono on Oprah, Mon. May 9, 2011

[Chewy]

[





Every time a thread discussion an LGBTQ-related topic is locked or relegated to the private areas of the forum I think of it as one more little loss for LGBTQ people and those who love them and those who hope the public thread continues for discussion purposes. And then I worry that it was in part my doing - for being too outspoken in a debate - and that makes me part of the problem, not the solution. :sigh:



Hey - wouldn't it be great if WS Admin could also get the Respect Award for - the service the forum does by permitting time and time again a topical discussion on LBGTQ issues, and for the patience they exercise on these difficult-to-monitor threads? :applause: We should nominate them! Well, at least, we should thank them. :tyou:

:cow: Just my thoughts. :cow:

I kinda disagree with you here, although I do understand what you mean. However in just this thread transgender people have been called "wrong" and "disgusting."

These threads should not be that hard to monitor. People shouldn't post such comments and then just tack on a JMHO! at the end as if that makes it ok.

It's why many of us get upset. I don't think it is beneficial for a LBGTQ person to have see this kind of commentary about themselves as a human being.

IMHO if you are not involved with a LBGTQ and have no interest in learning about their issues, then you ought to stay out of these threads because otherwise what is the point other than to have a platform for hate speech?

Chaz does not deserve to have a thread up where he is called disgusting, his gender is rejected "I don't care how many drugs she takes she's still a woman" and all sorts of other comments. While it might be interesting here it is hurtful and mean to other transgenders. I do know a few online and they have posted calmly in the threads but often PMed me about how overwhelming it is to constantly go up against prejudice. I really think we as people should treat one another as people and not "objectify" each other as a "topic of debate."

So in that case I'm glad threads filled with prejudice are shut down. It gives me more hope that LBGTQ are being treated with dignity.

:twocents:

 

[Kimster]

I kinda disagree with you here, although I do understand what you mean. However in just this thread transgender people have been called "wrong" and "disgusting."

These threads should not be that hard to monitor. People shouldn't post such comments and then just tack on a JMHO! at the end as if that makes it ok.

It's why many of us get upset. I don't think it is beneficial for a LBGTQ person to have see this kind of commentary about themselves as a human being.

IMHO if you are not involved with a LBGTQ and have no interest in learning about their issues, then you ought to stay out of these threads because otherwise what is the point other than to have a platform for hate speech?

Chaz does not deserve to have a thread up where he is called disgusting, his gender is rejected "I don't care how many drugs she takes she's still a woman" and all sorts of other comments. While it might be interesting here it is hurtful and mean to other transgenders. I do know a few online and they have posted calmly in the threads but often PMed me about how overwhelming it is to constantly go up against prejudice. I really think we as people should treat one another as people and not "objectify" each other as a "topic of debate."

So in that case I'm glad threads filled with prejudice are shut down. It gives me more hope that LBGTQ are being treated with dignity.

:twocents:

BBM

Everyone deserves to express their opinion whether they agree or not. The problem is the name calling and the anger just because someone doesn't agree with the topic. This is why we don't allow abortion debates or have a religious forum.

Calling Chaz names is a TOS violation. Attacking other posters is a TOS violation. Saying you do not agree with the decisions Chaz made in a RESPECTFUL manner is not a TOS violation, nor is it hate.

There is a fine line and I think the interpretation of where it is drawn is very difficult for everyone.

Now let's get back on topic and if anyone has a problem with a post, alert. If the mods don't respond, then it's not a TOS violation.

 

[Chewy]

Will do, I guess I'm used to other sites where people are banned for rejecting the gender. Not kidding, if you said some of the things I've seen here you'd be permanently banned. Just as if you made racist comments.

Still learning the ropes. Sorry.

But do want to kind of let people know that to say that you reject person's gender and will continue to call them by their birth sex is considered really really really disrespectful in the transgender community. Just an FYI in case some didn't know.

 

[Kimster]

Will do, I guess I'm used to other sites where people are banned for rejecting the gender. Not kidding, if you said some of the things I've seen here you'd be permanently banned. Just as if you made racist comments.

Still learning the ropes. Sorry.

But do want to kind of let people know that to say that you reject person's gender and will continue to call them by their birth sex is considered really really really disrespectful in the transgender community. Just an FYI in case some didn't know.

I'm sure some of the comments from the other side are really really disrespectful to other groups of people as well. The thing is, this is a crime forum. That's our focus here.

Thanks for understanding.

 

[animlzrule]

Congratulations to Chaz for such an inspiring run on DWTS. What an incredibly brave man. His mother should be very proud of how he has conducted himself throughout the entire experience. Hopefully, he made some isolated, confused, frightened child, teenager, adult feel less alone, less ostracized. It has also been heartening to see how much support he has garnered across the country. It makes me hopeful for the future that love eventually is going to triumph over hate. Children already have an enormous capacity to accept differences, now we just need parents/adults to stop filling their minds with ugly! I hope he goes on to successful fulfilling ventures. He is, after all, much more than his gender, sexuality, etc.

 

[Emma Peel]

I kinda disagree with you here, although I do understand what you mean. However in just this thread transgender people have been called "wrong" and "disgusting."

These threads should not be that hard to monitor. People shouldn't post such comments and then just tack on a JMHO! at the end as if that makes it ok.

It's why many of us get upset. I don't think it is beneficial for a LBGTQ person to have see this kind of commentary about themselves as a human being.

IMHO if you are not involved with a LBGTQ and have no interest in learning about their issues, then you ought to stay out of these threads because otherwise what is the point other than to have a platform for hate speech?

Chaz does not deserve to have a thread up where he is called disgusting, his gender is rejected "I don't care how many drugs she takes she's still a woman" and all sorts of other comments. While it might be interesting here it is hurtful and mean to other transgenders. I do know a few online and they have posted calmly in the threads but often PMed me about how overwhelming it is to constantly go up against prejudice. I really think we as people should treat one another as people and not "objectify" each other as a "topic of debate."

So in that case I'm glad threads filled with prejudice are shut down. It gives me more hope that LBGTQ are being treated with dignity.

:twocents:

BBM

Hmmmm...

Thanks Chewy. I didn't think of it that way. That is a very thought provoking perspective. And you caused me some pause. I was not thinking of these threads as a platform for hate speech. :waitasec: But yes, that is a valid point of view.

Fortunately, I think Chaz has shown his detractors & supporters he will not be deterred by all the intentional disrespect and bullying thrown his way. He has accepted the public mantle of advocate. I tend to think that continuing open discussion & education rather than shut-down-discussion is what his goal is.

:cow:

ETA: Wasn't aware Kimster had posted already. Will leave my post, as it is really about Chaz's advocacy & the challenges that come with it.

 

[Emma Peel]

Congratulations to Chaz for such an inspiring run on DWTS. What an incredibly brave man. His mother should be very proud of how he has conducted himself throughout the entire experience. Hopefully, he made some isolated, confused, frightened child, teenager, adult feel less alone, less ostracized. It has also been heartening to see how much support he has garnered across the country. It makes me hopeful for the future that love eventually is going to triumph over hate. Children already have an enormous capacity to accept differences, now we just need parents/adults to stop filling their minds with ugly! I hope he goes on to successful fulfilling ventures. He is, after all, much more than his gender, sexuality, etc.

It has been heartening.

And inspiring.

And hopeful.

And, IMO, so healthy & honest & educational for everyone!

 

[Kimster]

Since I've been watching this thread, now I feel like adding my :twocents:.

No matter what my feelings on Chaz's personal choices in his life, I felt very sad for him on Monday night. He worked very very hard to improve his dance and he just didn't have the natural gift that others have. If I were dancing on that show, I think I'd have the same problem!

He just looked so disappointed and I felt bad for him.

 

[Emma Peel]

Since I've been watching this thread, now I feel like adding my :twocents:.

No matter what my feelings on Chaz's personal choices in his life, I felt very sad for him on Monday night. He worked very very hard to improve his dance and he just didn't have the natural gift that others have. If I were dancing on that show, I think I'd have the same problem!

He just looked so disappointed and I felt bad for him.

Me too Kimster.

Later, Chaz did explain his sadness. He said it had to do with the Judges' comments - one in particular who felt compelled to compare Chaz to a different cuddly animal every single week. The last comparison - to a penguin - as Chaz was in a tuxedo and wearing the Phantom's mask - was the last straw for him.

I remember thinking that the same sort of cuddly animal comments were lavished upon Steve Wozniack when he was a DWTS contestant.

Woz took the cuddly comments with a grin and a laugh, but then, Steve's run was not as long as Chaz, and he hadn't practiced so long and hard and through injury... IIRC...

You know, on Monday night Lacy looked a bit steamed while listening to the judges. I don't think she was steamed at Chaz.

And when Max let the judges have it, I got the feeling he was not just defending his partner Hope - but campaigning for equitable treatment for all the contestants.

LOL. DWTS is my very guilty pleasure. :innocent: Not a word to my kids that I watch this show. Okay? :giggle:

 

[Kimster]

Yeah, I thought the comments were demeaning as well. Good point about Max. I didn't think about that before!

 

[Chewy]

Am I the only one who is really disappointed that Chaz hasn't lost a ton of weight like some of the other contestants. It's a shame to see him finally happy in life and still struggling with his health. I thought for sure this was going to help him whip into shape.

 

[TrackerSam]

BBM

Fortunately, I think Chaz has shown his detractors & supporters he will not be deterred by all the intentional disrespect and bullying thrown his way. He has accepted the public mantle of advocate. I tend to think that continuing open discussion & education rather than shut-down-discussion is what his goal is.

:.

Good point. Chaz came out on national TV and proclaimed transgendered status. If one is going to take on the mantel of celebrity and advocate, one must be ready for everything or remain anonymous. The comments I've made weren't disrespectful to Chad per se since they weren't about Chad.
If anyone only desires to read their own opinions echoed back at them, I suggest they post on a mirror - wait - that would be backward - a double mirror then. To suggest that we not post differing opinions in a medium designed for the sharing of opinions is :waitasec:

 

[Melanie]

Am I the only one who is really disappointed that Chaz hasn't lost a ton of weight like some of the other contestants. It's a shame to see him finally happy in life and still struggling with his health. I thought for sure this was going to help him whip into shape.

I'm no expert, but my thought is the weight loss/gain has to be hormonal. Doesn't Chaz take a bunch of Testosterone and the like?

With the other dancers losing weight, my guess it may be a hormone or thyroid imbalance.

Just my .02 --

Mel

 

[dunlurken]

Chaz worked very hard and I give him credit for that. However, this show is supposed to be about "Dancing". I continue to believe Chaz was a distraction, nothing more, nothing less, and he should have been booted off.

Can't help it. Every time he smiles, I see that beautiful little girl standing next to Sonny and Cher. He can change everything about himself, but he will still be Chaz Bono. Where that leaves me..... I don't know. :waitasec:

 

[Emma Peel]

Chaz worked very hard and I give him credit for that. However, this show is supposed to be about "Dancing". I continue to believe Chaz was a distraction, nothing more, nothing less, and he should have been booted off.

Can't help it. Every time he smiles, I see that beautiful little girl standing next to Sonny and Cher. He can change everything about himself, but he will still be Chaz Bono. Where that leaves me..... I don't know. :waitasec:

Perhaps that leaves you stuck reminiscing in the past. When I see Chaz and hear him speak, I actually hear his father, and see his father's expressions. He sounds just like his dad! And his family - the family that really knows Chaz, is proud of him. JMHO.

e.g. - we've all seen/heard Cher express her pride. Just listen to comments from his other mother, and her description of how Chaz's brother/sisters feel:
http://www.accesshollywood.com/mary...acking-watching-chaz-on-dancing_video_1361479

 

[Kimberlyd125]

BBM

I am asking you nothing.

IMO I don't believe the bolded statement is actually true, especially after stumbling into this one. If it were true, logically... you would also be opposed to other treatments children receive daily that also carry a unknown risk factor as well as potential side effects.

It is true. I care more about a child's health that all the other "stuff".
I've studied child development. I've worked with children many years.

But, all that has been discussed in the proper thread.

This one is about Chaz. An adult.

 

[essies]

Am I the only one who is really disappointed that Chaz hasn't lost a ton of weight like some of the other contestants. It's a shame to see him finally happy in life and still struggling with his health. I thought for sure this was going to help him whip into shape.

I'm no expert, but my thought is the weight loss/gain has to be hormonal. Doesn't Chaz take a bunch of Testosterone and the like?

With the other dancers losing weight, my guess it may be a hormone or thyroid imbalance.

Just my .02 --

Mel

Chaz has had a fight with his weight for a long time probably also has alot to do with depression too-which hopefully will improve as his journey continues and he begins to feel more and more comfortable with his future. Now, I'm sure he is on hormones-that's a double whammy in his fight to control his weight!

Perhaps that leaves you stuck reminiscing in the past. When I see Chaz and hear him speak, I actually hear his father, and see his father's expressions. He sounds just like his dad! And his family - the family that really knows Chaz, is proud of him. JMHO.

e.g. - we've all seen/heard Cher express her pride. Just listen to comments from his other mother, and her description of how Chaz's brother/sisters feel:
http://www.accesshollywood.com/mary...acking-watching-chaz-on-dancing_video_1361479

How great is it to see him surrounded by a loving family!! Unfortunately the same can't be said for so many others in similar circumstances!! Life is so short-even if God blesses you with enough years to become an old man or woman. How awful it would be to spend every day living what you feel is a lie to please others and hating every minute of it. No one can know what it is like to be in someone else's head and body that feels foreign and not natural to the essence of who you are!
Chaz, I believe is 40, will now have a chance to have another hopefully 30 or more years to live in his skin as he feels it should be and should have been all along.:twocents:

 

[Patience]

Merry Christmas Chaz you are an inspiration and I just love you.


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