Nancy Cooper, 34, of Cary, N.C. #26

[mahmoo]

Krista Lister's affidavit CLEARLY INDICATES CONTROL.

I think her affi gives a great deal of credence to what NC's neighbors and local friends have stated too. Of course, her sister could only go by what NC told her but......it is fairly consistent with what the local affi's said.

 

[jmflu]

I think her affi gives a great deal of credence to what NC's neighbors and local friends have stated too. Of course, her sister could only go by what NC told her but......it is fairly consistent with what the local affi's said.

No, she didn't just go by what NC told her, she witnessed it herself during her visit!

 

[jumpstreet]

I think her affi gives a great deal of credence to what NC's neighbors and local friends have stated too. Of course, her sister could only go by what NC told her but......it is fairly consistent with what the local affi's said.

There's more firsthand observation in the sister's affidavit though, than what we had in most all the friends/neighbor's combined. Agree it seems consistent with the picture painted. Granted, the sister is viewing the situation through a sister's eyes, but still, it's more first hand testimony that has previously been available.

 

[RaleighNC]

Something in my gut is telling me there is another 'someone' who has not come forward. Not because of wrongdoing, but because of public embarrassment / scrutiny.

Her increased traveling, her talking about starting a business, her escalating behavior to not put up with Brad's controlling ways - SOMETHING was helping her feel more confident, and more like her old self. From personal experience, hope for the future will give you the push you need to make the changes. I suspect that Nancy would not have been too happy struggling as a single mom and seriously changing her lifestyle.

I still think that there's just more that will ultimately be uncovered.

 

[SleuthyGal]

Wow.

First of all, I'm thrilled that the children are adjusting so well and are in such a warm, stable, safe, and loving home, surrounded by people who are in tune with and caring for their every need. And I just LOVE how the kids have a wall of photos of every family member and are encouraged to talk about anything. I like that the Lister/Rentz family works together and is very involved with consulting the child psychologist on many issues. And of course Krista has left her job to care for the kids fulltime, their dog is in a new home, and the kids have a sense of an intact family. I feel very hopeful for them and just pray they get to continue in this nourishing environment.

And then Krista's description of what she *personally observed* does seem to dovetail closely with what the other plaintiff affiants said.

And finally, the description of Brad's parents and how they are in a few scenarios... yowza. Not a healthy dynamic IMHO.

 

[jumpstreet]

Something in my gut is telling me there is another 'someone' who has not come forward. Not because of wrongdoing, but because of public embarrassment / scrutiny.

I would not be surprised either Raleigh. Do you suppose the reason the other (speculated) 'someone' hasn't come forward yet is because of the highly public nature of the case (ie, primarily tied to the custody hearing), ... or... some other reason?

 

[RaleighNC]

I would not be surprised either Raleigh. Do you suppose the reason the other (speculated) 'someone' hasn't come forward yet is because of the highly public nature of the case (ie, primarily tied to the custody hearing), ... or... some other reason?

It's possible the "someone" is in fact part of the friends' circle. There has been speculation that the "group" would be hurt somehow.

from personal experience - I left a marriage wherein my spouse was "controlling" - and well liked by LOTS of folks. I didn't fit the mold of someone that was controlled. It happened s-l-o-w-l-y over time, and I became unsure of myself. My marriage was OVER - but I was somewhat paralyzed by fear - could I live on my own? Could I afford things? So I stayed. I felt trapped and I became almost unrecognizable to myself - what had happened to that self confident smart kid? I think I lost her.

However, when I saw that there was someone out there that could help me find "me" again, I started to change. I was more confident, I put up with less, I gained the strength to leave. I wasn't back to the old me, and I left with very little "stuff", but that didn't matter. I just couldn't fight for what was mine - it was too much - I signed divorce papers when ex-s brother was the attorney. I let him stay in the home and still continued to pay 1/2 the mortgage while I moved in with family, I kept the joint debt. Of course, life has a way of working out, and it was the best thing I ever did - I am back to being me and happier than I thought possible. But for quite a while I felt rather lifeless.

I can see Nancy losing some of her identity when she became "wife" and then later "mother" even though she obviously loved those children immensely. Then - moving away form her support network (I did the same) allows for someone that you are dependent on to start exercising control.

But then - her hiring a VERY aggressive and expensive attorney - knowing that would infuriate him (oh -and knowing that he'd have to paid for this attorney) just doesn't seem like someone being controlled - it seems like someone that was gaining back control and from my personal experience -that is because of outside influence. She had hope for the future. I have to tihnk she was getting strength by looking forward to SOMETHING. And I do think that her idea of happiness was being a part of a FAMILY - having a loving husband and father for her children. The hope of seeing that things could be "better" is empowering.

Of course if Brad found out - he'd be livid and couldn't imagine her leaving and winding up BETTER OFF (if that would be the case). But - I also would think that he would have exposed the 'someone' if he knew - if for nothing else that to hurt others and shift focus.

And locking her cell phone - well - that's to me is a giveaway of a relationship - pending divorce or not.

Again - it's my gut feel from having lost myself and knowing what triggered me to finally leave.

 

[christine2448]

NOTE: notice has been removed after discussions with Admins/Mods and Tricia will clarify as soon as she can. I am sincerely sorry for causing confusion. Please carry on as you were before notice. :blowkiss:

 

[mahmoo]

NOTE: notice has been removed after discussions with Admins/Mods and Tricia will clarify as soon as she can. I am sincerely sorry for causing confusion. Please carry on as you were before notice. :blowkiss:

Gosh.....what did we do

 

[jmflu]

Gosh.....what did we do

I have no idea what she's talking about... but then again whatever it was has been removed, so of course we don't know what she's talking about!

 

[jmflu]

Wow.

First of all, I'm thrilled that the children are adjusting so well and are in such a warm, stable, safe, and loving home, surrounded by people who are in tune with and caring for their every need. And I just LOVE how the kids have a wall of photos of every family member and are encouraged to talk about anything. I like that the Lister/Rentz family works together and is very involved with consulting the child psychologist on many issues. And of course Krista has left her job to care for the kids fulltime, their dog is in a new home, and the kids have a sense of an intact family. I feel very hopeful for them and just pray they get to continue in this nourishing environment.

And then Krista's description of what she *personally observed* does seem to dovetail closely with what the other plaintiff affiants said.

And finally, the description of Brad's parents and how they are in a few scenarios... yowza. Not a healthy dynamic IMHO.

I was really touched by what I read, as well. The Rentzs always struck me as such a healthy, loving family, and I was always so horrified to read the mean things people wrote on GOLO. Made me feel like they couldn't recognize a loving family and a good man (NC's father) when they saw one.

The girls sound so healthy right now. I hope to God BC does not get them back... ever.

 

[christine2448]

If you have read the closing post of the last discussion thread and the beginning post of this one (now edited) you know what is going on. Tip...y'all should always read the first post in a thread....sometimes it has info, notices, etc...sometimes not

NO worries. No one did anything wrong. Those involved and those who read the notice will understand what we have posted, no worries. Absolutely everything is A OK! :blowkiss:

 

[jmflu]

I thought I always read everything... hmmm... will have to go hunt down what you are referring to...

 

[jmflu]

Oh... you must be referring to where you were saying we should not hint at having "sources" as they could not be verified?

 

[christine2448]

Oh... you must be referring to where you were saying we should not hint at having "sources" as they could not be verified?

YES! Tricia will be posting this weekend, as mentioned...just go on and forget it all..LOL! Carry on as you were. You ALL are ROCKIN!

I was just reading the autospy reports for the first time and everyone's sleuthing relating. AMAZING!

 

[mahmoo]

soooooo O/T but......Christine.....hope you and the rest of our wonderful mods have an awesome weekend !

 

[christine2448]

soooooo O/T but......Christine.....hope you and the rest of our wonderful mods have an awesome weekend !

rightbackatcha, I hope your weekend is FAB!

Now....get back OT

 

[gritguy]

7 hours didn't strike me as being on the 'short side' either though. Certainly would seem on the long side if he answered most/many questions with "on the basis of my 5th amendment rights...". Hmmm... maybe he didn't' plead the 5th at all...

[sarcasm]Gee... what's taking them so long to post the deposition transcripts on the web with all the other custody & murder-investigation stuff?...[/sarcasm]

well if you hold out for 7 hours then if you hold out til the day is over you get that night to regroup and see if you missed anything. i've been in them that have gone on for 3 days.

but i agree 7 hours is a long time, and suggests he was generally answering questions.

 

[runr]

Spousal abuse and battery are used for one purpose: to gain and maintain total control over the victim. In addition to physical violence, abusers use the following tactics to exert power over their wives or partners:

Dominance — Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his possession.
Humiliation — An abuser will do everything he can to make you feel bad about yourself, or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.
Isolation — In order to increase your dependence on him, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. Source: Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, MN
Threats — Abusers commonly use threats to keep their victims from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.
Intimidation — Your abuser may use a variety of intimation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.
Denial and blame — Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abuser may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He will commonly shift the responsibility onto you: Somehow, his violence and abuse is your fault.
If you feel you are in physical danger immediately call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-787-3224.

Cycle of violence
Domestic abuse falls into a common pattern, or cycle of violence:

Abuse — The abuser lashes out with aggressive or violent behavior. The abuse is a power play designed to show the victim "who is boss."
Guilt — After the abusive episode, the abuser feels guilt, but not over what he's done to the victim. The guilt is over the possibility of being caught and facing consequences.
Rationalization or excuses — The abuser rationalizes what he's done. He may come up with a string of excuses or blame the victim for his own abusive behavior—anything to shift responsibility from himself.
"Normal" behavior — The abuser does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship. He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time.
Fantasy and planning — The abuser begins to fantasize about abusing his victim again, spending a lot of time thinking about what she's done wrong and how he'll make her pay. Then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality.
Set-up — The abuser sets up the victim and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing her.

 

[mahmoo]

I pick the last one...............set up. Not saying he felt that way at the time but.............do believe he's come to justify what he did and blames her for it happening.